Rear View Wreckage

Loyal henchpersons, I won't lie to you: today's post scares the bejeepers out of me.

You see, if ever a Wreck was cursed on this blog, it is the Baby Butt Cake:

By Anything Artistic

I first posted one waaaay back in the infant days of Wrecks, but I soon had to pull the photo when I learned the baker was not a pro. So, I replaced it with a different butt cake. This time the baker was a pro, but was also none too pleased at having her creation be the butt of my butt jokes. So, I pulled THAT photo. (To date, I've only had about 8 or 9 bakers ever ask me to remove a photo. Not a bad record, for all that.)

At that point I decided the post was cursed, and left it.

However, today, dear readers, I face my fears. You see, the butt cake phenomenon has been growing unchecked, and is now threatening to overrun the world's baby showers. My friends, we cannot let this happen. Even if the cakes are well-executed,* I ask you: where is the sense? Where is the "cute?"

[*Heh. "Well-executed." Heh.]

Where...is the other half of this baby?

Aha! You see, most pro-butt bakers won't show you *this* angle.

Instead, they prefer to showcase their creations by the light of the full moon:

For many of these designs, the angle is such that it appears the baby is stuck head-down inside the cake - thereby answering the "where's the rest of him?" question, but raising several more of the "who buries a baby in a cake?" variety.

Other bakers unashamedly go with the Bisected Baby approach, figuring that a little fondant draping over that waist jutting off the side somehow makes the whole thing "work."

And since we're obviously not letting a trifling thing like anatomy get in the way, why NOT have Gumby knees?

Ouch.

This one almost looks like a head and hands popping up:

While this one makes me really....uncomfortable.

[looking left and right] Um...

Ok. Yeah. I'm just going to go ahead and say it:

The "Barely There Censor Bear" is really earning his money today.

And finally, let's end with something so hilarious that I have no choice but(t) to believe the baker is mocking the entire Baby Butt genre:

Yes!!
If you must have a butt cake, then this is the one to have.
(Always go for comedy over cute with body part cakes. It's safer that way.)

Thanks to Tina, Anony M., Carolina, Jamie, Marilyn W., Angie & Kim, Ashley D., Lisa E., & Jillayne, who are all bottom-feeders. In a good way. (Kind of.)

*****

P.S. Presenting my all-time favorite Christmas tee, and heck yes I've already been wearing it for the last 3 weeks:

Tree Rex T-Shirt

 The graphic is bright and cheery, it's super soft, and there are more colors and cuts for Men and Kids at the link.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

*Bonk*

Warning: A supposedly naughty cake ahead. (But good luck seeing it.)

"We asked for Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc."

"This was our Hello Kitty cake:"

"They told us those were flames."

"Believe it or not, it's supposed to be a penis."

Thanks to Amy J., Cindy P., Sara W., & Sarah H., who all knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.

*****

P.S. I did a ton of research to find the best Christmas lights last year, and I think you're going to love these:

BrizLabs Color-Changing Christmas Lights

This is a 115 feet of LED lights, which you can change from warm white to multi-color to any combination of the two! They have 11 different settings like "slo-glow" and "breathing," a remote control, and even built-in timers. All for $22 Prime! This is BY FAR the best price for the most features I've found, plus they have over 1,900 positive reviews.

John & I installed 3 strands of these lights on our friends' house last year, and they lasted all season and are back up again this year, going strong:

We lined a pathway, made an 8-foot light tree, and trimmed the house, all with 3 strands! Highly recommend. (Also we made all the gingerbread things ourselves! You can see how over on Epbot.)