Mess With The Cake, Get The Claws

They say Big Brother is watching, but really, who needs covert surveillance when we've got bakers writing down our every word?

Baker: "I'm sorry, could you speak up? I lost you after [consulting notes] 'knuckleheaded baker with the reading comprehension of a coked-up ferret.'"

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Jack wanted a volcano on his cake, because - and I cannot stress this enough - Jack is seven.

Somebody get this kid a Metamucil, stat.

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And finally, this last one is going to separate the women from the other women who know more pastry names than the first women.

Ready?

Mercer University's mascot is a bear, so Coleen asked her bakery to put a bear claw on her MU cake.

Which, technically, they did:

If you're like me and wondering what the heck that powdered sugar spine is, that's a pastry called a Bear Claw.

See? Now it makes sense!

Thanks to Rob M., Paige E., & Coleen B. for the dramatic paws.

And hey, if you have a thing for bear claws - which is a sentence I never envisioned myself typing back in college, but I'm sure my English professor would be proud of - I found some insanely popular telescoping bear claw back scratchers over on Amazon:

Why? I have no idea. But you get 5 for $9, so I'm guessing that has something to do with all the rave reviews. And really, as often as John requests a good back scratch, maybe I should grab him a set?

7 Break Room Cakes That Really Capture The Working Experience

Ahh, the break room cake. What can compare to that sugary harbinger of company-mandated merriment?

So since today is "Show & Tell Day At Work," and since we're not having THAT kind of celebration, here come a few gems from everyone's favorite Room Of Flickering Fluorescents & Microwaved Fish.

1) When you really hope someone double-checked:

Of course, you also hoped the baker would know how to spell "welcome," yet here we are.

2) The one perk to being on cake duty:

Blatant favoritism... to yourself. We see what you did there, Sandie.

3) Somewhere there's a Power Point citing this as a cost-effective morale-booster:

You're right, Dave, this is WAY better than bonuses.

4) Why you never let the "funny" co-worker order the cake:

::sighhhh::

5) Either Traci's having a baby or there's a new manager coming and we're all about to get fired:

Actually, given the way the boss #3 likes to combine occasions, it could be both. 

6) "Now, get back to work."

And finally:

 7) I'm really hoping Bob was a copy editor:

Two major misspellings, zero decoration, and wacky spacing - but it's the "BOb" making my eye twitch the most. Just me?

Thanks to Rachel K., Karen, Sheri T., Michael H., Amy J., Amanda M., & Ruth R. for going to work on these wrecks.

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If you're blessed/cursed with a desk job, then these "Doggy Mood Cards" may be for you:

There are 24 different "moods" with hilarious doggy pictures you can flip to, like "In a meeting," "Keep walking," and "Get me out of here!”