These Wrecks Are Not What They Theme

They wanted the cake "very Christmassy."

They got it:

And at least Asa did get the Giants' colors:

Just with bonus text and parenthesis.

Katie wasn't so lucky with her American Girl themed cake, though:

To be fair, I'm not sure how you'd do an American Girl theme. Maybe line the edges with fifty dollar bills? And then set them on fire? That WOULD save on candles...

(Only joshing, AG. I'm sure your $500 bakery play set is a bargain at twice the price.)

Of course, even when the baker understands exactly what you want, that's still no guarantee. After all, poor Liz here wanted a cowboy theme:

o.0

Get along, lil' doggie.

Thanks to Kathy A., Gene A., Katie S., & Liz B. for rustlin' up them wrecky victuals.

*****

And since all I can see on that last one is a slice of pepperoni pizza... behold!

Pizza Hooded Jumpsuit

 I dare any of you to wear this.

:D

Coraline: The Prenatal Years

How To Get Proper Credit At The Potluck:

Next time I'm totally spelling my name in deviled eggs.

***

Is it too late for Christmas cakes? Yes.

Is it too late for the world's most legitimately horrifying Christmas wreck?

Well, you decide:

0.o

No, you guys are right: it's definitely too late for him.

SAVE YOURSELVES.

***

Here's one way to decrease your chance of getting a wreck:

With instructions and drawings this clear, what could go wrong?

Ahh, allow me to answer that question with another question:

Did you know the letters "NHS" look exactly the same upside down?

*headdesk*

***

And now,

The Weirdest Display Cake Of All Time:

Ok, sure, there's a floating fetus. Let's drink that in. But also, how about those hairy bamboo shoot things? And the spider fingers up top? This whole thing is basically Coraline: The Prenatal Years.

(BONUS CREEPINESS: look for the face in the glass. Or don't, if you ever want to sleep again.)

Thanks to Susan S., Stacie, Lisa R., & Cathy G., who's just happy that last one doesn't have jam-covered lady bits. We're with you there, Cathy.

*****

I'm guessing more of you are Office fans than Coraline fans, and this made me cackle:

 Michael Scott Motivational Poster