Did You See That Ludicrous Display Last Night? (Copy)

Football cake submissions are up again, which I assume means it's football season.

These accurately reflect my feelings on this matter.

In fact, bakers seem to share my general ambivalence toward sports, and have provided us with all KINDS of unenthusiastic football treats to choose from.

I swear this one's being sarcastic.

While this one...

"I'm a little bit scared, and I want to leave."

Speaking of scared, does it mean anything if one of these is coming out of a gingerbread man's crotch?

Asking for a friend.

I don't know what happened here, but I'm pretty sure it was just an excuse to draw boobs:

Tell you what, non-fans, maybe we should practice being more enthusiastic.

"Hooray, he's kicked the ball!

"Now the ball's over there!

"That man has it now."

"That's an interesting development!

"Maybe he'll kick the ball.

"He has indeed, and apparently that deserves a round of applause!"

Huh.

On second thought, non-fans, just bring the cake.

Thanks to Wendy W., Dafna S., T.K., Audra B., Graeme, Carrie A., & Julia T. for footing the bill AND the ball. Which probably makes no sense, but I'm really trying here, promise.

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AND NOT A SINGLE FART JOKE

Saturday was Thomas Crapper Day and let me tell you I was FLUSHED with excitement! I know, it sneaks up on me every year, too.

BUTT never fear: it’s never too late to celebrate!

How about this lovely...

Poo-quet?

(You know, like bouquet? WORK WITH ME PEOPLE)

Or perhaps you prefer your poop prehistoric:

Ooph. That head was a real crapshoot.

(Please, try to contain your excrement.)

Anyone else go nuts for donuts?

Wait, "caterpillars"?

Look more like dung beetles to me.

::rim shot::

Or how about this classic chart-topper:

Droppings like it's hot. 

Well, however you celebrate, minions, may you be happy as a pig in poop:

OH! And don't forget to continue this moving celebration during the Big Game!

GO GO GO SUPER BOWEL

Thanks to Elizabeth R., Jay R., Kristin H., Fiona H., Katherine B., & Kelly M. for updating the log.

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I can only imagine how proud Thomas Crapper would be to know this exists:

16 Color Toilet Night Light

Just think of all the sweet family memories you can create!