Wrecky Exhibitionists

Sometimes I think of wrecks not as really, really bad cakes, but really, really bad art.

And to make them seem more arty (and to amuse myself, because let's be honest, that's a priority) I'll give them hoity-toity art names, like:

"Blanket Of White Silence, Being Loudly Smothered"

Or

"Lobster Steroids."

"Two Young Black Birds Mustache You A Question"

"Ode To An Airbrush Tip That Wasn't Screwed On Tight"

"High Five, Velveeta!"

"An Early Midsummer's Morn Shattered By A Bird Puking"

And lastly:

"Easter Bunny, Deconstructed"

I hope this brings you a whole new appreciation for your local wreckerARTers, minions.

Thanks to Jennifer V., Anne L., Stephanie B., De C., Michael R., Samantha S., & Stephanie G. for helping these wrecks look even more sketchy.

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Sometimes, I just know I’m gonna strike out on Amazon and then BAM!

Lobster on steroids.

Lobster Dog Toy

Because why not, right?

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Picture Perfect

The Good: You hired a fabulous wedding photographer.

The Bad: Not so much with the baker.

The Ugly:

This has to be the most beautiful photo of a Wreck I've ever seen. The fact that the photographer submitted it - along with tales of watching the baker catch the toppling cake with her bare, unwashed hands before serving it - only adds to the beauty. 

And really, what's a photographer tasked with making a wedding Wreck look good supposed to do? Well, after careful study, I've come up with a few options.

Option 1: Try an action shot in the background.

"Ok, bride, groom? You two stand behind the cake here. Now...reach for that wineglass!"

"Hmm, not quite enough action. Bride's dad? How about a running tackle?"

Option 2: Flowers

"We're gonna need another bunch for the middle tier, stat."

Option 3: Blend it with a busy background.

"Cake? What cake?"

Option 4: More flowers.

No, seriously. MORE FLOWERS.

Perfect.

You: But, Jen, those cakes look great!

Me: Exactly.

Option 5: When all else fails... PhotoShop

Take that Wreck from this...

...to this!

The irony, of course, is they'll pay more for the retouched photo than they did for the cake.

Oh, and to whoever starts a cake photo retouching service after reading this post: I want my cut.

Thanks to Wreckporters D Tyler Photography., Tiffany A., Jen A., Wendy T., Andrew Jordan Photography, Jennifer J., Jacq, Random, & Rebecca Z.

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Which reminds me that today, Jen and I are putting this awesome window film on a friend’s glass doors. SO. PRETTY!!!

3D Stained Glass Removable Window Film

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And from my other blog, Epbot: