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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Oct062008

Cake Wrecks the Game Show?

Some cakes are like those ink blot tests you saw in grade school: baffling blobs of color open to interpretation. Well, not exactly; cakes are usually supposed to look like something in particular. Sometimes they taste better, too.

Anyway, since I've gotten a few of these "ink blot" type cakes submitted, I thought it'd be fun to add a little suspense to your daily dose of Wreckage. That's right, boys and girls, now it's time to play...

"Guess That Wreck!"

Everyone ready? Ok, clear your mind of all thoughts. Now, scroll down and tell me what you see:

"What's that? Ah, you see the moon cooking on the grill in a paper bag? [scribbling on notepad] Interesting, veeery interesting... [looking over glasses] And tell me, how IS your relationship with your mother?"

Check back tomorrow for the "answer": I'll post a picture of what the cake was supposed to look like. In the mean time, let's see who can come up with the most outrageous explanation. I may even post the top 3 guesses here, so bring on the funny, folks; fame and fortune await!*

Thanks to Dana W. for inspiring a brand new category! Oh, and Dana? Don't go giving away the answer just yet, k?

*By "fame" I mean a shout-out to your posting name, and "fortune" is used more in the "destiny" sense of the word than the "wealth or riches" sense. So in other words, no, you won't be getting any money*. Unless someone sends it to you, of course. But that someone would not be me. So probably not.

* Or begetting any money, either; 'cuz that'd just be weird. And wrong. But mostly weird.

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Reader Comments (574)

It looks like a rock, some weird French food (obviously, since it sports a fleurs-de-lys), and a grilled steak, surrounded by football helmets.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSolaMommy

Superdome!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinley Dolby

You mean you can't see it!?!

It's obviously a Halloween cake of the NOLA Saints! You can clearly see the heads lining the outside of the stadium, obviously to scare away any opposing team. Next year's version will have the bodies laying about INSIDE the stadium.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJade

I think it's pieces of a salmon, flayed open for grilling. Some have got the scaly side up, some have it down. And apparently this salmon was suffering from a parasitic infestation of Southern Striped Helmet Suckers, and the cook decided to leave them attached, for extra flavor. The black shape in the center must have been made with a branding iron. Why the Flying Fleur-de-lis Ranch would need to brand the inside of a fish is a mystery to which we'll probably never know the answer.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKansas girl

I know. The football team got teleported to the Land of OZ (note the yellow brick road) by a large grey rock where a giant couch (complete with fleu-de-lis decorative cusion) and coffee table were dropped on them. That dark reddish brown piping at the bottom is depicting the gory nastyness.

-Evellyn

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I shouldn't have read the comments before posting mine. Now that I'm looking at it with Superdome in my head, I can see that.

Unfortunately, that was not my first thought. With the fluer-de-lis and the weird column looking things, my first thought was the Bastille. Perhaps it was supposed to be a cake for Bastille Day?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterQuartermaster

It doesn't so much look like the Superdome as it does the cutout Superdome backdrop from the Simpsons' episode where Marge stars in a musical version of A Streetcar Named Desire.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

A couch about to burst into flames being propped up by a boulder with a grilled rectangular steak in front of it. And it has to do with football and the French somehow.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

I'm going to go with "Fear Factor". The 'contestant' is walking a tightrope over hot coals in the moonlight while the beetles to be eaten during the final round hold the net below.

Kim

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMe

I also saw a really ugly couch...a pull out couch with a gray thing (blanket?) sitting on top...crushing some scarab beetles underneath. Though I've read the comments and know what it's supposed to be...I still don't see a stadium. *shrug* Guess my dislike of sports spreads to cakes too.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTheRedQueen

This is clearly a host of beetles who are saints fans bearing away the detritus of a Mardi Gras: namely, a huge rock, a piece of grilled salmon stamped with the fleur-de-lis, and a very square-looking pile of poo. (Perhaps someone actually did sh*t a brick?)

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCassia

Haha its the Superdome if someone mistook it for a burger and threw mustard and ketchup all over it!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I'm positive it's supposed to be the Superdome.

What it actually looks like, I can't say. Let's just leave it at it ain't pretty.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSmoochiefrog

i'm not even reading the other comments, but is it a football field for the saints? the ONLY way i sort of 'get' that is the saints logoishy thingy is there.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermere9

My guess is someone was "grilling up" some New Orleans Saints, maybe using the helmets as little charcoal briquets, and the reddish thing being some kind of Saints filet. Not sure about the gray part at the top, though...

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie B

Clearly it's a representation of a tragic accident in the parking lot of the Superdome, in New Orleans. The world's largest grill was being used to broil the world's largest steak, but when the silver lid was lifted, an unexpected explosion hurled the giant steak off of the orange-hot coals, onto the New Orleans Saints football team.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaeZoo

It's obviously a coal effect gas fire with a faux beaten copper canopy and fleur-de-lys embellishment.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCharlotte

I agree with the football stadium, but it sort of looks like a coffin. On wheels.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterL. Simpson

It's the football stadium... but the only tell tale clue though is the helmets and the fleu de lis.

Sigh, love cakewrecks though!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterResplendentquetzal

I'm pretty sure that is a New Orleans Saints cake, but damn, someone mangled that, didn't they?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Upon first glance, I thought it was some sort of medieval castle with the heads of impaled knights on stakes around the gates, sort of a Vlad the Impaler thing.

After closer inspection, I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be the Superdome. A really crappy representation of the Superdome, but the Superdome nonetheless.

Megan

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

It is the Superdome but looks more like an open casket with no one in it.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

i thought the helmeted dudes were COCKRAOCHES. and i thought it looked like some sofa attacked by cockroaches who decided to pull out the matress. or something.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpearl

A giant tarantula with a French hamburger on its back?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRita

A gravestone for a French piano-playing Football player, clearly. Who was really into either showing pride or just primary colors in general.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commentervarla

The SuperDome, recovered from Katrina, faces its second disaster in this decade as it is engulfed by a giant piece of Sashimi.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJordanBaker

Is it a shrimp with a tumor?

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

That's the Superdome. Who Dat!!?!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterelizabeth

OK so we all know its the Superdome for the NO Saints, but my first guess was a french panini sandwich being held down on the grill by a large rock... and i thought the football helmets were charcoal briquettes! :-)

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

I think it's Jabba the Hutt's colonoscopy.

<3 Alisha

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMsHellion

Clearly, this is France's revenge for our calling french fries "freedom fries". They have sent a mutated, grilled baked potato to wreak havoc on our country, it's deadly fleur-de-lis ready to eviscerate any slow-moving american in its path (and as many fr9ies as many of us have eaten, we are slow-moving indeed.)

Why did they take so long to attack? They didn't. The spud of doom is propelled by classic French escargot (snails to us Americans.) It just takes them a while to get where they are going.

--Cpeter13

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hah, not being an Amurican, I thought cos of the Fleur de Lys, it was meant to be some kind of deformed guillotine with red trickles of blood in the middle there, the French all love guillotines right? And there are a whole bunch of weird French bugs nibbling on the bottom of the podium the guillotine stands on.

Errr, yeah. That's because I'm not an Amurican.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCass

Jewelry box? LOL

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSwansong

its the zombie foot ball team coming out of the ground to deast upon the cake ;)

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterblueeyedtawni

It's supposed to be a "photo negative" of a delicious double-hamburger, surrounded by giant ladybugs. And a squished spider that ALMOST made it out of the patties before its untimely demise . . .


Or it's the Superdome in N'awlins.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJ Rob

Those are roaches escaping a lava flow that's coming down volcano. RUN LITTLE ROACHES RUN!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJo

My first thought was a flaming coffin being eaten by cockroaches...

Cora Lea

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's a souffle. And it's angry. We all need to give it some room.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternancy b

I guess I have to go with everyone else and say it's a football stadium,meant to "honour" a french ( due to the fluer de lis) football team.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

I have no idea what it's supposed to be, but that is THE ugliest cake I have ever seen in my entire life.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCafe Johnsonia

New Orleans' sushi roll on a burn football field.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLarisa

It looks like a big couch to me, but since there are numerous football heads surrounding, it must be a French (fleur-de-lis) royalty's litter being carried by burly men. The Royal personage must be irritable, and tends to throw things at his/her litter bearers, so they have to wear helmets. OF COURSE that's what it is! ;)

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAcajjou

I was thinking astrodome or superdome or some kind of stadium!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterYvonne

yeah I also say superdome

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteramanda

Oh god are those olives round the edge?? This is terrifying. The middle section looks to me like a close-up of the butt crack of someone who recently sat on a lit barbecue. With the decorative spearhead tactfully concealing the bumhole.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPixel

I can't decide. It kinda looks like Angelina Jolie's cracked lips in like 20 years when they've officially taken over her face.

but for some reason, I get this "Little Shop of Horrors" bit lips coming at me ready to say "feed me!"

Patti

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia

Audry from little shop of horrors with a tombstone on her head and a pied of ciabatta bread under her chin.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterexes blue eyed devil

Football purgatory.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSimi

It is clearly a chocolate millipede being flattened by a very heavy slab of airbrushed bacon.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterE. A

It's the http://www.superdome.com/" REL="nofollow">Louisiana Superdome, home of the New Orleans Saints (and the Tulane Green Wave). Although I can't tell you why it's red and orange (the Saints are "on fire" right now, so maybe that's it), that is fleur de lis and tiny Saints helmets.

Also, to the commenter who made a very distasteful "refugee" joke, give me a freakin' break. The Superdome reopened 13 months after Hurricane Katrina and it's currently in great shape.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

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