My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Creations That Might Possibly Be Representations of Turkeys

But the jury's still out.

You know, Amanda S., I always wondered what Davy Jones would look like as a turkey. I'd say this has got to be spot on.

Kara S., please tell me this is a baby shower cake. (Orange pacifier? Woolly bonnet? It could work.)

Ashley J. has obviously found the "angry tree demigod" species of turkey. Forget Smokey the Bear: now HERE is a mascot that will make you put those campfires out.

And Melissa G. found Right, you got me. What the heck is this?

Ah, the traditional "Snake in a Flamenco Dress" turkey - of course. But where are the castanets, Erin L.?

And lastly:

Sure, ok, he looks like a turtle whose shell is on fire - no problem. The thing I can't get past are those weird Aztec-looking symbols written on the left "pumpkin's" head. After a few moments squinting at them, I suddenly realized they are supposed to be words. Check it out; it's like one of those magic eye puzzles.

And don't look now, Lynz B., but I think those Twizzlers are supposed to be feet. Won't you join me in weeping for the future of cake art?

« And Now, a Word From Your Thanksgiving Turkey Cakes | Main | Wrecktopia of Cornucopias »

Reader Comments (157)

I *think* the sign on the Aztec pumpkin god's head says "Eat More Beef." But it could also be "kill me now, and end this." It's hard to tell...

Monique in TX

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMonique in TX

The Aztec puzzle says "Eat More Beef"
Wow those are classic wrecks!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren C

People get paid to make this stuff?? What a life!

I bet these so-called decorators brag to their friends like "Yeah man, I don't know what the hell I'm doing, but I just pile some frosting here, throw a cookie there, and collect my paycheck on Friday. It's awesome,dude!"

These are just hilariously scary :)

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennyKitten76

I'm not even sure what to say to those other than that they give new meaning to the word "horrendous"...

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

My guess on that 4th one is Shelob from LotR - wearing legwarmers.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteranadandy

Well of course, the pumpkin is telling us to "eat more beef". Who would want to eat this monstrosity?

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterI'm Losing It!

That one that you don't know what it is- That's Denis Rodman.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeagan & Brian

And my family wonders why I hate turkey.:op
~Amy B

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I read it as "EAT MORE BEER."

Which, ya know. Is hilarious. :-D

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristin

"Eat more Beef" haha, really? wow. I can't believe thats what the Aztecs wanted us to know.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSammieRockes

Poor Chick-filet. So many knock off's just can't compare to the original.

When are you going to have a modern art classification for cakes? That would help some of the wreck-i-nesss :)Happy Turkey Day y'all. May your turkeys look normal and taste good :)

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKat

You forgot to mention that the 4th photo is a Cup Cake Cake. In fact the label says it's a "24 Ct Turkey Variety Pullapart Cupcakes"

It looks like another animal wandered too close to the electrified fence.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJ. Applebee

After squinting at the magic-eye-Aztec-symbols pumpkin for a few minutes, I was quite positive that it said "Get more beer". Then I came and read other people's comments. They claim it says "Eat more beef". It makes just the most miniscule amount of sense more, but I like my version better.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJezebel

This round of wreckiness takes the cake, but that last one...Why on Earth would a pumpkin say 'Eat More Beef'? Some cake decorators should have their creative licenses revoked!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRooManda

positive thing about all that brown icing? looks the same going in as going out. i'm just sayin'...

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hilarious! Thanks for the much needed laughs today!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

And to think that just last week I had the errant thought, "Someday this will have to end. She will run out of bad cakes and witty comments. This can not go on forever." I was wrong. You are Queen. May you reign forever.

PS: The computer ate my first comment. I hope this does not end up as a duplicate.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlois

The first one looks kinda like a flower made of poo if you squint. The third one with the tree demigod has amazing sprinkle placement. I'm surprised no one has said anything about the 4th one-the snake in a dress- looking like a certain member of male anatomy...
word verification: ingulin, you might need a shot of ingulin if you eat all that frosting.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

I vote for snake in the flamenco dance dress. It is the most wreckaliciousnessly cake in our contestants today.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

#4 is obviously a buffalo in a feathered headdress, celebrating America's native heritage during this Thanksgiving season.

Wait... it's NOT? Because that's what I saw...

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermary

I think the "snake in a flamenco dress" is a turkey who mated with a peacock.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Being the die-hard Monkees fan I am (no, I'm not kidding) I was at first trying to find a likeness of Davy Jones the singer, but I wasn't getting too far. :) Of course, Davy Jones from Pirates, now that I can see. Thanks for the awesome wrecks! Excuse me, I think Daydream Believer is on....

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShawna

All hail the angry tree demigod!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDustbunnyodoom

"Ah, the traditional "Snake in a Flamenco Dress" turkey - of course"

If I'd had coffee in my mouth, I would've spit it out. Hahahah.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeredith

#4 is quite obviously a kindergartener's "Hand tracing" version of a thanksgiving turkey tail...

Designed by the six-fingered, two-thumbed man... the relatively unknown brother of Count Rugen who was a considerably less evil cake designer... but who contributed to his brother's treatise on the subject of "Pain" by carefully recording the responses to his Wrecks.

"I'm not a turkey, I'm your cake!"

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lili Effect

I love the "angry tree"!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMari

Does that say 'Eat More Beets'? Oh, wait... I suppose it has something more to do with cows than Dwight Shrute. Stil...

This post totally got me busted for laughing at work. The angry tree demigod and snake in a flamenco dress killed me ded.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

hahahaha! "Snake in a Flamenco Dress"! Classic. As always Jen, these wouldn't be nearly as funny without your wit. I'm grateful for CakeWrecks this year! Happy Thanksgiving.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCake for Breakfast

Hey, has anyone pointed out yet that the pumpkin says "Eat more beef"?

Just checking.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Maybe the twislers are there to hold up the massive bride cables in a way.

I don't know, I'm trying to help it out and it's just not working.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWhat's Her Face

@ cake #1

Ia! Ia! Turkey fhtagn!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

I thought the pumpkin said "eat more beer" until I read the other comments. Beef makes more sense, although drinking more beer might make the wreck look more reasonable...

The snake in the flamenco dress cracked me up!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

This is what happens when you ask a nation who have never seen a live turkey to interpret a live turkey in baked goods. *sigh*

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterk_sra

Just found your blog (from Katie) and these cakes are just too sad! I have been doing cakes for over 12 years and I am glad to say they (even my worst ones) look nothing like these!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMotherOfBlessings

hmmm. I come from a cattle ranching family, so 'Eat More Beef' is a popular sentiment at our Thanksgivings.

The cakes themselves, especially the Angry Tree Demi-god are going to give me nightmares.

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRedd

Ok, so it may be gross, but Melissa G.'s submission (I can't make myself call it a turkey) looks like it surrounded by gnawed on corn-cobs, some of them have just been dyed....

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTonyia

Ha ha ha ha....we went turkey for you today too Jen!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Sugarpants

I never ever knew there could be so many wrecks. I can't believe people actually try to sell these things. I wait for the day when I to can become an offical wreckporter!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChic Runner

I vote that the fourth cake is actually a Halloween cake. In keeping with the scarecrow/chewbacca that we saw a few days ago, this one is chewbacca dressed up as the Mayan sun god (Quetzalcoatl?). Really, it's only problem is that the baker made it 1 month late!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaytee

oooh! A Turkopus!


November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElena

I kept trying to think of what it was that I could say to describe each one, and you got it spot on. Way to go, Jen, for reading my mind!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

The first Easter Island pumpkin says, "Eat More Beef."

The second has a sign behind it that says, "Gobble, Gobble."

Isn't that a mixed message?

And the first cake definitely belongs in Davy Jones' locker.

Word verification: chare. Chare a Thanksgiving Turkey Cake with your family this holiday season!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Hmmm...I think the Aztec symbols say drink more beer. Maybe if you drink more beer, the cake looks more like a turkey! Those are all wrecktastic!!

word verification - likaff -- when you laugh at a joke because you like the person, but the joke wasn't really very funny

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlabdogs42

lol at the Snake! It could double as the Lochness Monster!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMs Ashley

yay your posted my turkey!!!
and yeah davey jones....

they were so bad looking!!!


November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterManda

Clearly Melissa G's cake is Dalek Sec

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

Ha ha ha, it says 'eat more beef'! Too funny! Because pumpkins (and cakes!) have feelings... I could see if the turkey were saying it, but pumpkin hair?!? Odd, indeed!

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGilsner

It does say "eat more beef" clever can they be?

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I saw many Mr. Hanky's with funky headdresses....

November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I read EAT MORE BEEF. and oh my gosh, I was ROLLING reading through these today! I love the angry demigod. The whole T-day set has been awesome! Thank you!


November 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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