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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Dec172008

Seasonal Non Sequiturs

I appreciate that some decorators are trying to think outside the traditional wreath/stocking/tree box, but then again...

For the granddaughter who loves dissecting frogs - formaldehyde frosting optional. (And you know, without the comma "Love Grandma" becomes more of a command. A really creepy one.)

Have a cake left over from Halloween? Meh, just slap a Santa hat on it.*

The head of a flower, the face of a snowman, the body of a slug, and a candy cane for a...belt buckle. (Please, let's just go with belt buckle.) "Let it Snow"? How about "Let it Go" - as in, away. Far, far away.

Brace yourself for this next one:

The mind, it boggles. Is this a frilly white Santa caterpillar, crawling up a red boulder? Or has Santa sampled some Wonka chewing gum (with cherry pie dessert)? The back certainly does nothing to clear up the mystery:

What IS that little bump? A tail?

Even more baffling, the decorator thought this was such a smashing design that s/he made it in miniature as well:

Now the bumps are on the side. What does it mean?!?

Try to picture those "cakes" without the plastic Santa heads for a moment. I'm getting a real "raw meatballs sitting in radioactive waste" vibe - how 'bout you?

Thanks to intrepid Wreckporters Brittney E., Meredith O., Kelly D., & Heather K.!

*I'm told this is actually a Grinch cake. Not sure that alleviates the wreckiness, though.

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Reader Comments (213)

You. Are. KILLING. Me. !!!!1!!1

December 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG! Santa has morphed into a Tremor!
(You know, the eighties movie with Kevin Bacon?)

December 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZombie Edward

I don't know...maybe it's just my weird taste, but I think the snowman slug flower is kind of cute.

December 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnn

It doesn't look so much like a Grinch as it does a baby seal body with Santa's head attached. I can't figure out which I find more disturbing.

December 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlaura

My vote's for a Santa bride!
The big tuff of white is the veil. And the bottom with the little red bobble is the train of the dress.
And the second with the two smaller ones is two santas getting married. So they support homosexuality and political correctness in one shot!

And I loved the belt buckle comment. ;) It reminded me of potter puppet pals...

December 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris

The "Love Grandma" command made me laugh so hard that my cat abandoned my lap!

December 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterplumtreeblossom

My first thought on the top pic was that it's a (somewhat anthropomorphized) disemboweled green cat. Clearly I have issues, too.

Wrecktastic, all.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMargo S.

...I have stared at and returned to the velvety Santa blobs several times in the last few days. I can not find any conceivable reason for why they look the way they do. My brain says that maybe, just perhaps, if the Santa heads were flipped around, the long white stuff could be his beard. Or his trim. But now he's just got tons of hair down his back. Or his coat is on backwards.

December 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVellum

Those santa slugs are the oddest looking cakes I've ever seen.

But why would anyone ice the plastic tray??

December 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter~* N *~

It's a caterpillar of a Santa, making his way up Ayers Rock.

December 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter..::Angel::..

I'm thinking Santa the Hut.....and all he wants for Christmas is a Princess Leia cake (wreck).

December 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmyDahart

Hee hee... the dissected frog reminded me of http://mattbenn8.deviantart.com/art/Brought-to-you-by-the-letter-D-39935038" REL="nofollow">this person's post on Deviantart. As for those wriggly and fat Santas... they should help me to stay away from pastries for this whole season, I'm sure.

December 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMel Celestial

I think the red blobs are Santa's body, the tail looking blobs are supposed to be his arm/hand and he is holding a white sack slung over his shoulder.

I note that this is so confusing the decorator actually had to write 'Santa' on the big one.

December 22, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteraceiatx

OMG, I am laughing so hard I am practically peeing my pants. You commentary as usual is spot-on and hilarious! Thanks for making my Xmas more merry!

December 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Miss Cupcake

OMG those last few santa ones made me laugh so hard, I am still laughing. In the spirit of living in Florida, it reminded me of a manatee...hmmm manatee santa...now there is something you don't see everyday!

Thanks for this blog, when I am down I come here for a few good laughs and it does the trick EVERY time!
Damiane'

December 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterArjun and Indira

oh, i've been going through your blog with my husband & roommate- we've laughed ourselves silly over many of these wrecks but the "santa caterpillar" nearly made me wet my pants. nothing like a good cake wreck to brighten your day!

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's obviously a Santa "Metamorphosis" from Kafka, people! This guy wakes up one morning, and he's a giant sluggy bug of some kind, just like poor Santa here. I was traumatized for days when I read that story as a kid; betcha the decorator read it shortly before doing these cakes.

December 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOliphaunt

Okay, so a friend directed me here, and it's been funny so far going backwards, but this one just made me LAUGH!! :-D Santa Slug!

December 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

OMG! I just found this post. Its pre- gastric bypass santa? maybe??
I'm actually laughing so hard I have tea coming out of my nose!!!
Fantastic blog!

January 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSand Mama

LOL It looks like Santa had, eh, a little too much turkey I suppose?

January 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimmygintx

Late post is late, but as far as I can tell, that last bunch of cakes is Shapeshifting Santa in Seal form.
Why? God knows. o__O; Yes, when I hear "Santa" all I can think of is the cuddily marine mammal the Seal.
whut.

February 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I though tht ecaption 'I'm told this is a grinch cake' pertained to the meatball santas. I mean, it made sense in a Nightmare-Before-Christmas kind of way, I mean, didn't they tie up Santa in that movie?

February 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Geeeeeez..........was laughin so hard......couldn't stop......and scared the heck out of my cats...........whoahahahhahhahaaaaa..
.........pleeeez......stop it!!!!!...
pain in my belly......

February 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertabasco58

I laughed till i cried... I love your wacky commentary to the pictures.

OMG, my belly hurts

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiza

The Santa cakes made me laugh so hard my jaw hurts and tears are in my eyes. And it doesn't help that you're a hilarious writer! I laugh my butt off, then read the next sentence and laugh my head off! Quit it!

(just kidding. go ahead and continue.)

June 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterclairebear

The grinch cake looks like oscar the grouch with a really bad hairpiece! and why do ppl insist on doing cupcake cakes? They just look so bad no matter what you're doing!

July 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEEM

Must...Love...Grandma...
Okay, everyone, who wants SANTA BLOBS?
ME!

WV: dencin. Sounds like diaper cream.

July 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterisabellerogers

My sister and I think it’s a worm!?! Maybe....Maybe just a little?...

HAHAHAHA
Sarah

August 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFanny

Actually, that HAS to be an Oscar the Grouch cake. What else could it be? And though, yes, still disturbing, that thought makes it.. Well, understandable.. Okay okay, look, just let me think it's Oscar, okay?!?!? Geeze! *Puff..*

August 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRedHandedMabel

OH dear goodness. The santa caterpillars are had me loling. I looked at a lot of cakes on this site and that one kills me the most. I also want to know "what does it mean?!"

September 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh the Santa creatures are a riot! Scary-funny! Or funny-scary! I almost DON'T want to know what the baker was going for on those! Yikes!

Maybe they're SUPPOSED to be Santa Slugs...that might explain how he's able to get up & down chimneys, although it'd take him years...DECADES...just to make it around the world at that speed! Not to mention how he'd have no way to carry his sack of toys!

Uh-oh, now I want a Santa-slug cake! :-) "Merry, um, something-or-other!"

September 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTom

I can't stop laughing. Betsy

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm guessing that Gabriella is a biology major, and her grandma just wanted to acknowledge that. The "grinch" cake sure looks like a bad imitation of Oscar he grouch. And the "Santa in the elephant poop" was the tragic result of good old Saint Nick deciding to add Dumbo(who is now an adult flying elephant) to his reindeer line up for added power. :P

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the Santa with the Blue around it was originally an island.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's the Santa Slug! Mutated after he survived the big cherry bomb in the sky.
Oh and those are not meatballs those are giant boobs! They bounced off and went rolling through the grass like bowling balls taking out a couple of Santa impersonators as they went.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpinkandfabulous

holy cow, that second cake looks like a head specimen in a glass case, something out of a sci-fi or horror film!

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Don't you people know anything?! The second one is definitely Oscar the Grouch holiday style.

October 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelsey

I am eternally grateful for your site. I stop by often to catch up. The stories and photos ruin me, reduce me to gales of laughter, complete with tears. I laugh so hard I can't talk and my partner is drawn over to see what is causing all of this mayhem. The caaakes...

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAliceone

I laughed so hard....what in the world??

November 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm really not understanding WHAT the heck those mermaid santa's are. Its so confusing! Im thinking its supposed to be mermaid santa who has surfaced to sunbathe on a boulder in the sea (kinda little mermaid-esque) Notice the blue "water" and green "sea-weed/algae" thrown on there... ? just a guess. I really have no idea. I love the "love grandma" command. That made me laugh hysterically outloud at work... at my desk.. then everyone was all like "whats so funny..." .. nothing. nothing at all people. get back to work.

December 7, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkatydid25

Oh my god!! And I'm sitting at my desk at work, too. I laughed so hard -- soundlessly -- that I got nauseated. GREAT STUFF!!

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's Santa The Hutt.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That's not a frog, that's the mistletoad!

Bel

February 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRundesNettes

I realize this is way after you posted... but I think the last one might be a Santa head on top of a Santa hat. The decorator didn't have a way of differentiating the hat from the fold, so the mermaid-blobs are the fold of the hat (which would normally be red). Then the red meatballs are what would normally be the white puffs. Why the Santa head is on top, I don't know.

Anyways, that's my theory and I'm sticking with it.

February 28, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMel

I was laughing so hard about the Santa cake, I actually started to drool...

March 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lord have mercy!

It looks like Santa wandered down the wrong chimney and got his head stuck on a pike as a warning to others.

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Laughing so hard at frilly white Santa caterpillar that I'm crying.

April 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterChezJulie

I thought those bottom cakes might be sort of a "Santa in an Iron Lung" theme...except the iron lung is, yknow, seasonally decorated.

June 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBriessa

Come on... Clearly the wonka santas are santa hats with the plastic santa on top. Why on earth you would stick santa's head on top of it I can't answer. Maybe the hat alone didn't relay the christmas cheer, but if you add a disembodied head on top...that says "Happy Holidays"!!

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I laughed so hard at the commentary for the caterpillar Santas that my eyes were watering and my stomach hurt! Thanks for the great laugh!

July 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSummerset

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