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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Jun222008

Naked Mohawk-Baby Carrot Jockeys

This cake is so disturbing, I'm almost glad the picture doesn't include the whole thing. The plastic clone babies wearing naught but mohawks are bad enough, but then they're also riding carrots. What do you do with that? It looks like some kind of perverted vegetable rodeo, or maybe a bizarre clone military exercise, what with their little plastic fists raised high in identical salutes.

And what kind of occasion calls for a "naked babies riding carrots" decor, anyway? No, wait, maybe I don't want to know...

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Reader Comments (206)

This is clearly in honor of the veterans of infant vegetable wars. And in proper infant vegetable war veteran style, the inside of the cake is made out of a root vegetable. What kind? It's part of the surprise! Of course, the mohawks are totally random. Everybody knows that they had mullets.

November 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I kept saying "naked Mohawk babies riding carrots" out loud, faster and faster, to see if there was any hidden message, a Beatles song, you name it. No such luck! I pray it doesn't haunt my dreams...

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEve

i laughed so hard for a ridiculous amount of time when i saw this... i almost peed myself and feel off my stool simultaneously.

this made my day. thank you!! i want this cake for my birthday.

December 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSydney

My choir teacher showed me this blog and I absolutely love it. It makes me laugh so much!

December 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna C.

Sometimes the mystery is better left unknown, but this appears to be as some posters above noted, a baby shower cake improvising traditional Asian New Year's imagery...gone horribly and hilariously awry.

The baby riding an orange carp in the New Year's panels (bottom row, 2nd from the right) is posed like the mohawked carrot jockeys on the cake with the arms upraised with one straight up and the other out perpendicularly. The carp's tail fans out similarly to the carrot's green top. The magpies, the chubbiness of the baby, and the fish are auspicious emblems of a new year.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fseHZVwmags/SX_mbSRC_aI/AAAAAAAAC6g/HhdF9BgUWQ0/s1600-h/boy_fish.jpg

Someone gave my sister-in-law a carrot cake for her birthday recently. We were disappointed that there where no naked baby mohawked carrot jockeys on it.

December 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was wondering what to request for my 46th birthday. I will look no further.

Thank you for your sparkly blog!

December 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRGuillory

My guess would be that it is one of those premade carrot cakes with the carrot decor to say what it is exactly. Someone got lazy at a baby shower and thought "Oh! I know how to make it perfect for a baby shower! Put these little plastic mohawk babies on some of the carrots! It will be so cute!" Whoever it was cheated and should be shot. ;)

January 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnony Mouse

I love this blog!! You have made my day!! I have laughed so hard that I cannot even finish all of your pages yet!! What a wonderful treat to look forward too! Your captions turn it from funny to hysterically funny! Thanks for quality laughter!!!

February 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTotabella

didn't mean to be anonymous, just punched the send button too fast!

February 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTotabella

I love the archives!! Your blog is always guaranteed to make me laugh since discovering it a little while ago. THANK YOU for keeping some easy links like "the classics" around for newcomers like me. Friggin hilarious!

February 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMFolsom

Not that's what I call a carrot cake!!!

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterwhizkidforte

They're alien babies, riding into the earth's cities on their flying rocket-carrots, ready to take over our world. And force us to drink carrot juice! We must fight back against this orange menace! D:

April 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSnowFoxCreations

looks like something from The Wall, Mel Brooks-style.

This website is such a great mood lifter!

Michelle

April 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Holy baloney, they're still commenting on this post!
I forgot how I even came across your blog, which of course you know is insane (you definitely have found a niche here).

All I can say is, thank G-d I don't bake--because they'd all turn out like these...

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady-Light

Baby Carrots. That is my guess for the explanation of this cake.

It's my favourite cake in the world.

June 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCarolina Plano

Naked Babies are bad ENOUGH, but riding on carrots! GROSS

P.S
I : ) Cake Wrecks!

August 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMadeline

maybe they just needed a quick baby shower cake and this was the best they could do! i love it!!!

October 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hahaha Who? What? Why?..would you make this????? lol This is so funny! xx

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

This HAS to be the best cake wreck in the history of history. in 30 years it will probably still make people spew milk out their noses with laughter! I know it will for me

December 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJaynee

Superb blog post, I have book marked this internet site so ideally I’ll see much more on this subject in the foreseeable future!

January 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHearing Aids

you know i always thought that this was a made horror cake topic. wow - it is real!

January 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJG

I saw your book on the Graham Norton Show so had to look up more Cake wrecks. Love it!

February 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterhood

Makes you wonder what the baker was thinking...

June 28, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Laughing so hard I just woke the sleeping baby - who will no longer be server carrots...
I think I just peed a little...
no...
yup
yup
you just made me pee...
but only just a little...

thanks :)

August 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOCDMummy

Yeah, yeah, yeah, few years late. But I checked Hobby Lobby yesterday and they don't have the Iceman babies anymore!!!!!! Where can I find some so we can celebrate the baby shower in insane style? Sister LURVES carrot cake and is the only flavor of cake she likes right now. BIL is a die-hard UFC fan. I so freaking need little Icemans to put on the cake, then I'm making the carrots be Tito Ortiz. Just saying.

October 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterI need one!!!!

I GOTTA know where did the naked mohawk baby thing come from is there some obscure holiday its related to or what??

October 20, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbc

Hilarious!!

October 21, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBlondenblue1

I saw this commercial on youtube, and all I could think of was the babies on carrots! http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=1guJsD-au7I

October 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Ha! Go tarako!
The video is a great find!!! I almost started singing the song in the office now....

I found another one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78lbf4ySzA0&NR=1

Now, Jen, tell me you didn't send this post to a Japanese Noodle company!
Ahahahhahah......hahahahahah :-)

November 16, 2011 | Unregistered Commentercarrot jockey lover

This is my 3 year old's favourite cake wreck. He asks "I want to see the cake of the babies ridding the carrots down a mountain" whenever he see's I am on cake wrecks :) Thanks for all the laughs!

November 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett

And this is when the carrots learned about who their fathers actually were, and why their life is going so rapidly downhill. Apparently Mrs. Carrot had not yet had the Talk with them.

December 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG

Naked babies are a King Cake tradition. They used to bake them into the cake (before they made them out of plastic), and whomever got the baby was responsible for buying the next cake.

January 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCynical

It looks like a cake my sister would like. Perverted vegetable rodeo is SOOOOOOOOO her thing!

February 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSadie Allen

I'VE GOT IT ! The carrot rodeo is a carrot cake for a baby shower. Hahahahahahahaha

February 13, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterwoodcrestfoodlady

Oh my god!! I just discovered this site. I'm crying von laughing so hard. Keep up the good work. Babies riding carrots, who thought of this?

February 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrigham

Whatever! My baby gets naked and rides his jet carrot all year long. This could be for any occasion... if your baby's cool enough!

March 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDev

Little did I know what lay in store. Seconds later, I'm simultaneously choking on my beverage, trying not to laugh out loud, and tears are streaming down my face.

April 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSajid Ayaan

Sadly, I do understand this cake. This was a last minute baby shower cake. They bought a carrot cake and stuck the babies, purchased at the craft store, on top of each one to make it fit the theme.
Little did they know what a stir it would cause!

May 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGeorgiasas

I've had the worst month in my life. I was reading PassiveAggressiveNotes.com to cheer myself up and found your site. I've been reading it for the past 5 hours (yes, that's true) and laughing out loud. The pictures are priceless, but it's your running commentary that makes it hysterically funny. You have a gift, and thank you for sharing it with the rest of us. (This pertains to both of you, by the way.)

I've seen some naysayers on here, and I love how you deal with them. Kudos to you for being so classy.

I'm going to go wipe the tears (of laughter) from my eyes and continue reading. Thank you so MUCH for being who you are and for what you do. You cheered this mourning old woman up immensely. If I could hug you, I would. Or send you a horribly decorated CCC. :)

May 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTeri

I think I need a shower now! lol

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

This is by my best guess, a baby shower cake. The mother-to-be wanted carrot cake, but the cake had to be baby-themed. Now, the only way to make a carrot cake baby-themed was to add babies to the carrots. Also, the only plastic babies the baker could find had light hair already, so they did their best to shave ti off, leaving each one with a mohawk. What you are left with- a mohawk-baby-carrot-jockey cake.

Is "spitting out beverages" in this post an EPCOT?

September 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlightswitch windowshade

We ride!

September 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterS. Lewis

and then you made it your logo. the end!

October 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda (your biggest fan)

I need to recreate this cake! I hvae the out laws coming for tea!!!

October 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDavis

I think someone asked for baby carrots, and the cake decorator said to themselves, "Babies on carrots? Well, okay, I can do that!"

November 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMary

True story: my first baby shower had a cake unveiled to me with one of those little plastic babies on it. The baby was African American..... My husband and I (and the baby when she was born, mind you) are caucasion... smh

November 10, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermamabess

Well, now we know what they were doing, Gangnam style dancing in a carrot arena. Guess they afford real horses.

November 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergreenhouse

baby gangham style?!

January 4, 2013 | Unregistered Commenteranon

Root-wranglin' nudes prove,
for a fistful of sprinkles,
babies ride again!

January 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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