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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jul102008

Inspiration vs Perspiration

I know this post is going to test the limits of my credibility with you, faithful Cake Wrecks readers, so here is the originating site, provided by Summer from TX, to prove I am not making this up.

First, the inspiration:

Which isn't bad, I guess, if you've got a Brave Heart kind of vibe going for your wedding. Certainly it's executed well.

Anyway, here is what the paid, "professional" baker provided:

Erm.

[glancing between the two photos]

It’s like seeing double, isn’t it? I mean, sure, the second one is collapsed in on itself, slumped over to one side, and channeling a bit more Bob Marley than William Wallace, but besides all that I’d say the decorator was bang on, wouldn’t you? Ok, ok, if you wanted to get picky about it, I guess that crack in the bottom – the one you can see the cake through? – that probably should have been iced over. Oh, and the red stripe might look a little nicer if it were one continuous line – or for that matter, if the line were straight. (Perhaps a little too much Red Stripe was consumed before icing the red stripe, eh? Eh? Come on, that was freakin’ hilarious, people: Bob Marley? Jamaican beer? Booya!)

Come to think of it, maybe that mass of squiggles in the mid section isn’t the best example of plaid I’ve ever seen, either. [tilting head to one side] Huh. Yeah. Ok, Summer, you got me: I can sort of see why the bride sued.

« The Creepiness Continues | Main | I Respectfully Disagree »

Reader Comments (195)

no one, and i mean NO one should have to put up with this as a wedding cake. I'm only 13, but when I marry I hope to have a wedding that, if it isn't perfect, at least has guests going home and saying "Gee, that was a nice wedding" although I don't mind if the leae out the "gee". JUST A CAKE?!?!?! It's a frikkin' WEDDING CAKE, people! If I had created such a horrendous... blob, I would rather live a solitary life in antartica (with no clothes) than serve it at a wedding. I'm surprised the "professional" didn't turn up missing the very next day. Or not turn up, as it were... I feel so sorry for you Lynda. As I was looking at this wreck for the sixth (at least) time, I called my mom into the room, pointed at the picture and said, "I want this for my next birthday!" She wasn't looking at first and said, " What does it cost like, $600?" Then she saw it and laughed, saying, "Oh, I can make that!"

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFreya

Ommm..kinda reminds me of my wedding cake. It was a mess. The cake looked nothing like the picture I gave the bakery. I paid top dollar too. I was getting ready to walk down the isle when I caught sight of the cake and in some of our wedding pics you can see the anger on my face. Needless to say, I got a full refund, but that did nothing for the wedding cake itself.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjen

First off the baker should have placed the layers on supports and covered them in fondont(sic) Then the stripes are clearly woven fondont(sic). He deserved to be sued.

My own wedding cake was suppose to be purple and yellow, but arrived purple and orange. Though it was nice enough I didn't see the point in fussing. The baker was also the mother of a good friend who was more important than cake.

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my! I have never laughed so much! I am trying to be sympathetic for the poor bride but it's just too funny!
Blog authors writing is perfect. Well done.

October 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is EASILY the greatest thing I have EVER seen on the internet!

October 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShaena

I've read this post before, and whenever I come back to it I'm still completely horrified.

Yeee-ikes. This is definitely one for the ages.

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

I found out at my own wedding that most wedding cakes are frozen before being delivered for more stability in transport. I suspect that the same thing happened to this cake as happened to our groom's cake: it got hit by the sunshine and thawed unevenly. That said, I am impressed with the decorating ability of the baker's 3 year old child. On a positive note (maybe) The frosting looks tasty even if it is shockingly pathetic! Ouch!

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Hey, give ME a sliceathat crazy thang!

In fact if I did request that second cake and presented with the first? I'd be positively splenetic!

October 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJosh

Jeez--what a mess!
It's not even...I mean...it doesn't even make any SENSE!
Oh, maybe the baker thought the bride wanted a foodfight cake.  Everyone gets ossified at the reception, and the desperate wedding planner says, "OK, everybody--FOOD FIGHT!"
...No?
And the baker had a "minor traffic accident"? 
Looks like the vehicle was totaled, and the by-then- (if not before)-impaired "artist" put the smashed cake back together with that fun gauze wrap some ERs use.
[Cake + car wreck = cake wreck.]
PS Judy's (J.R.M.) comment about "glass eyes" had me weak from laughter..  XD  
-Blondie's Mom

October 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It hurts my eyes to look at it! OMG.......

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looks like the cake was deflated...awww....poor cake...

November 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah G.

I bet it tasted delicious.

January 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

That is so damn funny. I can just imagine going to a wedding reception and seeing that monstrosity sitting on a table. It sure would be memorable. I bet it got photographed more times than the bride!

February 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

I'm so gonna make this for my sister's birthday!

Shopping List

1. Rainbow frosinng
2. Plastic bag with a hole in it
3. different sized cake pans
4. blowtorch

February 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Oh my.....put a hex on it! Send it back to the hell from whence it came!!

March 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBernie

How much did she sue the baker for?

I laughed so hard I choked on my coffee!

HILARIOUS as always, thanx!

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett Robyn

http://www.tastytreats.co.uk" rel="nofollow">Tasty Treats

OMG - how could anyone even contemplate doing that to a bride on her wedding day. Any sane person would have not turned up and just returned the money with a sincere appology rather than insulting the 'happy couple' with that.

OMG This is RIDICULOUS! Amazing that this even happened! I can't stop laughing! My Dog could create a better cake than this.

April 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCassie

Hey!!! If you tilt your head to the right, close your left eye, close your right eye you can't se the difference!!!

May 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

whatever happened to her wedding coordinator? If I saw a baker place something so god awful in the reception, I'd immediately remove that from the table and get someone to get a plain sheet cake. Even that's better than this mess.

May 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"minor traffic accident" might explain why a cake may collapse, but it doesn't excuse the "decorating". A beautiful cake that's pancaked, and had discernable supports, would at least be believable given the baker's claims. This would have been a wreck even if it were still intact!

And, there is absolutely no excuse for the baker to have delivered a cake like that to a wedding, particularly if she had proven her worth with her pictures and sample. If she didn't have the mental wherewithal to complete the cake, but was able to start it, she should have baked it, supported it, left it undecorated, and apologized. True, the bride wouldn't have received what she wanted, but at least it wouldn't have made her guests wonder about her, her taste, her budget, and her judgment. That would have been worth the half-price, given it was tasty. There is absolutely no excuse for this! Most amateurs could do better than that. And to refuse to refund the money-- appalling. The baker completely destroyed what must have been a hard-won reputation, and now deserves all mocking and lawsuits she gets.

The wedding coordinator should not have put that out-- serve it from the kitchen at most (I wouldn't have eaten it since I would have assumed that if it looked that bad, who knows what was in it!). No cake, or a Costco cake, on display. If I were Lynda, after getting bailed out from prison for assault or attempted homicide, I would have sued not only the baker but also the coordinator...

May 6, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAliza

You know that game that people play (usually while consuming large amounts of alcohol)where you put your forehead on the end of a baseball bat and spin around a bunch of times before trying to hit a pinata? That is the only thing I can think of that this baker could have been doing during the decorating process that would have created this result.

August 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

Again...laughing and pointing. Cant believe that had to sue the baker. That's brass neck, not giving them the money back.

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

It looks like there is something trying to escape from inside it!

FRRREEEEDOOOOMMMMMM!!!!! Hahaha XD

October 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLucy

The funniest one i've seen! i couldn't stop laughing i sent it to my sister so we could laugh together. lol but i would have sued too thats a wedding they ruined! it would be a big deal to me

January 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGeraldine

As horrible as it is, how much did the bride CHARGED for the cake?

The original cake is at the generously LEAST $400. Anything less that that is a case of getting what you pay for.

March 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I personally can not believe the baker if you can call him/her that even showed up with that!!! I have had cakes flop but never that bad and I definately would never take a cake like that anywhere WOW is all I can say.

Marsha

May 30, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

All the king's horses
and men could not repair cracked
Stripey McPlaidcake.

wv: frott

Frott with portent.

July 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

I'd revert back to grade school because I could never hand that thing over.
"Umm, the dog ate it...here's a couple donuts(the bearclaws are for the newlyweds) and your money...buh bye!"
If it wasn't for the fact that it's not moving, I'd say that someone should shoot it and put it out of our misery.

August 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPadfoot04

Looks like the baker was "smokin' abit too much ganga mon"!

September 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBrian S

Americans sue for everything! Just stop already!

November 15, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG (yes, me again)

I have to say I have sympathy for both parties. The bride & groom because... well just look at it!... Look AT IT??!! I also have a lot of sympathy for the cake maker, well more for his/her family... did the hospital say whether he/she will make a full recovery?? :0/

November 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWalking Disaster

How could anyone have the guts to actually bring that thing to the wedding and think it was ok? The baker should have driven into the country, heaved the cake into the ditch, rolled the delivery van into the ravine, called in an air strike and then called the bride to describe the "horrible accident" and loss of the wonderful cake.

January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWill

my daughter said it looks like a rainbow bed

February 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterviolahobbit

I'm curious as to what sort of personal problems the baker experienced in the days leading up to the wedding that led to this- especially if she had made a perfect sample cake for them beforehand.

February 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarns

NO WAY this cake decorator was a professional! They may have gotten paid to create the cake but they were a WANNABE. No professional would allow this cake disaster to go out the door!!

February 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDough Girl

The difference between fondant and sugar icing is soooo easy to confuse . . .

March 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

Every time I visit this particular post, I continue to be stunned by the lack of reading comprehension and the pure laziness of the readers who simply want to blame the bride or the weather.

1) The wedding wasn't in the summer in Texas. The person who sent in the story is NAMED Summer and LIVES in Texas.

2) The website VERY CLEARLY states that the problem was that the woman was intoxicated. She tried to decorate and transport a cake when she had been drinking. Please explain to me how THAT is the bride's fault?!

What I find most hilarious are the ones who say, "oh, the bride didn't actually have the money for a cake so she clearly had to pick a cheap baker, blah blah." Those of us who actually have a lot of money *never* speculate about how much money other people do or do not have, because it is gauche. By doing so, you are simply revealing your own bitterness and projecting your own problems onto someone else with absolutely no evidence that this was in any way the case.

April 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJT

No way! I am in disbelief, this has to be fake....no freakin way in h3ll someone would actually deliver this to a wedding....really? no way!

February 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

I can only laugh this hysterically, making my sides hurt, because this wasn't MY wedding cake!!! Seriously, I hope they got "pain and suffering" compensation as well!!

June 26, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertexagander

Reading Cake Wrecks makes me afraid of buying cakes from bakeries. I take cake decorating in 4-H, I'm not very good, but most of my cakes look better than some on here.

June 26, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

I think my niece can do better...

July 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAkamar

The link for this cake is the one I send to all my friends who I want just to LAUGH their pants off! Some of the comments from 2008 & 2009 about this cake are HILARIOUS! Like the one where a commentor posted that it looked like the cake fell on some poor flower girl and the bottom of her dress was sticking out...

September 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLynne S

Lynne, I hear you. I love and love and love this post.

December 21, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

This is so bad it looks like she ordered it the night before at the local country grocery and it was made by the male janitor! I would never have displayed a mess like this unless I was using it for a cake fight! I can't believe the couple would have had it there. I would have taken a picture of it and then thrown it at the baker! I don't blame her for suing! That would ruin your whole wedding. I think I would be running pictures of it in the local paper to warn the general public NOT to order a cake by that person.

April 13, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

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