My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Celebrity Wrecks

Sure, they're rich, famous, and always get to fly first-class. But guess what? They get Wrecks, too.

These "olives" (in honor of Kristin's character Olive on Pushing Daisies) aren't too bad, but the bakery decided to make a nicely symmetrical pair instead of the single olive requested. I simply cannot imagine why. [wink]

This was made for the 10th anniversary of P Diddy's record label Bad Boys. Given the caliber of that lil' homeboy elephant-baby on top, though, I could have sworn it was for a baby shower.

"This cost me how much?"

The Hulk's family recently celebrated how "greatful" they were for their son Nick.

And the "Unbelievably Insensitive" award goes to...

...whoever thought it was a good idea to remind 10-year-old Bindi that she doesn't have a father anymore. On her birthday. (The most un-funny Wreck I have ever witnessed, folks.)

And last but not least, guess whose sweet sixteen cake this was?

That's right: it was for our very own crotch-grabbing soprano himself, Michael Jackson. Because every 16-year-old boy dreams of having a giant wicker basket of roses on his birthday cake. [shaking head] I don't know about you guys, but I'm starting to feel a whole new sympathy for MJ. I mean, who knows what kind of cake trauma was inflicted here?

So, dear readers, the next time you bring home your misspelled and/or tragically decorated Wreck, be comforted by the fact that even fame and riches would not have spared you. Cakey wreckitude truly does unite us all. :)

Thanks to Annika W., Emily R., Holly Z., Hel E. for the pics, and to the many readers who sent me the Hogan link.

« Why Are the Children Screaming? | Main | "Cake" Cruelty »

Reader Comments (111)

You have a fabulous blog going!! Love the BIG PAIR of olives.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I am with you on the Bindi cake.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlady jicky

I've seen enough of Bindi on television to know she's very invested carrying on her father's interests and speaks lovingly of him often.

It's most definately not a cakewreck. And cutting into it is about the same as anyone who gets a cake with a personal photo on it- I'm sure they well-realize it's purpose is to be sliced and eaten. It's a cake, not a voodoo doll. What's morbid about that?

P-Diddy cakewas HILARIOUS, though.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRATSAWGOD

< sleezeball > Hey, baby, can I buy you a martini to go with those olives? < / sleezeball >

The figure on top of P. Diddy's cake looks like somebody threw one of those plastic "Homiez" figurines on a grill!

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreezair

Who took a bite out of Kristen's candles?

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMcBangle

I'm glad you pointed out what that thing on top of Diddy's cake was cuz I had absolutely no idea. I still can't really tell what it is.

MJ's cake just proves how disturbed that entire family is. Could have been worse though - could have been naked mohawk babies riding carrots - now THAT would explain a lot. Are you sure you don't have those two images mixed up?

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApache1228

I just found you and I think I'm in love. :o) Thanks for the giggles.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLarisa

Isn't Michael Jackson a Jehovah's witness? I've read before about how he doesn't celebrate birthdays...

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

"Cakey wreckitude truly does unite us all. :)"

I laughed so hard when I read this, but I know I was only laughing because it is so very true. This will be my new mantra. Thank you for your wisdom. Truer words were never spoke.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterelesa

The P-Diddy cake looks like someone is trying to resurrect the California Raisins, haha!

As for Bindi's, my guess is that this was a favorite photo, and it's just a good way of including her father in some sense. Look for video of her speaking at her dad's funeral-- she obviously has an incredibly courageous and positive outlook on life.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDaveX

OMG. These are absolutly hilarious. I have to forward the link to your blog to my high school bakery teacher. (yes, I learned how to decorate cakes in high school)

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I followed someones link to this site and I have to say I have had the best hour and a half looking thought all the posts ... thank you so much for the laugh and after my birthday cake (no pictures available sorry) I am pleased to announce that my sperm looking balloons are not so bad after all LOL

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura ~Peach~

i truly enjoy this blog! i have never laughed harder! thanks so much! i look forward to the next post!

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The idea of using the photo on Bindi's cake isn't disturbing, but the idea of then cutting and eating the face of her dad, um, not so much for me, thanks. If it were a picture of my dad being eaten, I'd definitely find it disturbing.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMackenzie

I saw the pic of Bindi's cake a couple of weeks ago and thought the exact same thing. Why oh why would she want a pic of her dead father on her cake????

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thank you for this site and for providing me with countless laughs. You rock!

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Those olives are lopsided, I wouldn't have charged for that error alone. Never mind the candles rising from the pimentos.
That P Diddy cake looks like it was made by a 3rd grader gone wild with a star tip. Horribly executed cake,what a sloppy mess.
MJ's cake, so totally inappropriate.
And that Hogan cake, can't they afford something better than a Costco cake??

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteradozeneggs

There are also unnecessary quotation marks about Nick's "New Life". I guess it will be the same as his old life.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhooper

Yeah I've found insensitivity with the Croc Hunter all the way round. Check out Bill Maher's costume I posted on my blog:

Seriously, can you believe that? I don't know why people want to forget the feelings of his family and the fact that 2 young kids are going to grow up without a father. Ok rant over!

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Those other two were horrid, but I don't see anything wrong with Bindi's cake. Some take loss better than others.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVirginia's Stupid Drivers

I love how Kristin's cake says 29 on it when she's actually 40 ;P

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkottoncandie

Seriously, why is the Bindi cake posted here? That's just reaching. I'm fairly sure the dear girl hasn't *forgotten* she had a father, and she was *very* fond of him. Whatever is the matter with having him on her cake?! I'm sure she wanted him to be there to share in her special day, and since she believes he's still with her, I totally don't see how this is inappropriate in the *least*.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterE

It's creapy enough to "eat" a person who is alive on a cake, but a picture of someone who is dead?

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRonnica

" but the fact that someone will be eating her dad. I mean, what will they do, serve up his face on a plate?"

Well, not necessarily. When my 8 year old nephew was a baby we had a small photo cake made of him. It's still in my mom's freezer.

Then again, people eat bits of Jesus all the time.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJon H

the pregnancy cakes look like what the inspectors found washed up on the beach in JAWS I-X...

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The twin olives are compensating for the lack of flesh on skeleton-lady there, I think.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEvergrey

Why is the deformed elephant baby crapping a photo of Diddy's head?

And Bindi looks purely traumatized by that cake.

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkatie

Did you see the picture on the internet of the man who passed away and wanted to be standing for his wake? The guy on the top of Diddy's cake looks just like that guy. So disturbing!

August 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Not only is the Bindi cake tacky for her, but the little boy looks like he's going, "Daddy?"

August 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

and not to mention Diddy's face in the crotch of that elephant baby... WTF??? I'm assuming his assistant was FIRED!

August 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz :)

Trevor and adozeneggs - most women's... olives... aren't exactly the same size on each side, so that doesn't necessarily make it inaccurate.

Mcbangle - I thought the same. Maybe it was obvious to you and you were just kidding, but I was genuinely puzzled until I saw the long drip of wax on the one on the right and realized the candles were just melted. I guess it didn't occur to me because I don't think I've ever been to a party where number candles were allowed to burn down that far. But then, I don't happen to hang out with anyone whose birthday is a publicity photo-op. :)

August 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey now, I would've been thrilled to get as interesting a cake as MJ's for my 16th. Roses rule.

Nothing's wrong with boys who like flowers. We do exist.

If it's something someone wants? No real tragedy, unless it's executed poorly...

Of course, giving a cake like that to someone who -didn't- express a liking for things like that? That way lies madness. And colossal lack of tact.

August 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For my grandmother's 80th birthday we ordered her a cake that said "It's Good to be Queen". When the cake arrived at the party- there was a slight mistake. It instead said, "It's Good to be Queer". Oh dear!

August 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Absolutely horrible! Michael J's cake doesn't surprise me though. It looks like the cake decorator knew it was for Michael Jackson and made the ugliest cake possible. Surprised it wasn't a Neverland Ranch replica. Silly M.J. Great site though, so random and funny!

August 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSimplyEverything

The P Diddy Cake is the worst one. The olives, while boobular (yep, that's a new word) would be cute if they stuck with the one. Bindi's cake isn't that bad, if you get a picture cake someone is bound to eat the face. MJ's cake... would've been a better wedding cake.

But Diddy's cake....




I'm not even talking about the deformed elephant baby or the fact that Diddy's pic is between his legs.

What's up with the frosting?!?!?!? It looks like the cake is so disgusted with itself that it's trying to self-destruct. That or it's vomiting. You decide.

And all the pictures around the bottom joined by the vomit/icing??? Who designed this cake???!!! And was anyone brave enough to eat it?

September 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMauri

not ONLY is Bindi's cake reminding her of her father who is no longer alive, but SHE isn't even in the picture on the cake--a family photo sans little Bindi.

What a tragedy.

And what a ridiculously insensitive cake, I agree.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermica_lika_pi

This is an old post, but I just discovered this site; hilarious.

But have you ever seen Josh Hartnett's 30th bday cake? I'm a huge fan of his, but I've heard that his friends can be dweebs. They surprised him with a very interesting cake. Link:

February 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaz

what are you talking about bindi as if it were so bad? steve is still part of her life everyday life, and his videos are watched daily.
australian culture is not like U.S.A where they pretend the dead person never existed, until one day the person loses their mind and needs counselling.

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiciah

Americans don't pretend the dead never existed. And very few people lose their mind. Actually, scratch that-- last time I checked everyone was insane, (some, like the author of this blog, in a good way.) but whatever.

March 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Reading through some of your archives and I have to say -- I love your site! Very addictive :)

But had to post about Bindi. It's her father! On her birthday. Why on earth is it bad to want to have a family photo on your birthday cake? Why is is a "wreck" when someone wants to be reminded of their loving father on their birthday? I really don't see how this is a wreck and I definitely don't understand some of the comments labeling it as "disturbing"

So a little girl is laughing and smiling on HER BIRTHDAY. With a photo of her family on her cake. This to me shows a picture of a loving family who are celebrating the life of Bindi and Steve. I honestly can't see what's wrong with that.

April 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRawley

OH my, you know the Olives cake? And you know how lots of women have one boob slightly smaller than the other? This cake too! WHERE do you find this stuff?! :)

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAunt of 14

michael was a strict jehovah's witness at 16. he didn't celebrate birthdays. is that photo legit?

love your blog! been reading a long time. <3

July 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I doesn't seem any of them are upset about the cake. Though the idea of eating Steve Irwin's head is disturbing. Still...


December 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhousemdfan1

I think with the Bindi cake it's not so much the cake as the look on her face. That's not a look of sheer delight in my honest opinion so I somehow doubt she picked that one out. Her brother however seems to be far more thrilled. Lip licking action there.

Birthday cakes don't need huge pictures on them reminding you of what you don't have anymore. I think they should have given her a picture of her favorite animal with a "Happy Birthday" and called it a day. Not a family portrait that doesn't seem to even include her in it?

February 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRiyoku

I totaly feel for Bindi. my dad died shortly before i turned 11

June 24, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I know this is old, but I just wanted to answer the questions about Michael Jackson's cake.

Just because he and his family were Jehovah's Witnesses, doesn't mean that maybe his publicist, manager, agent, or whoever wouldn't have ordered a cake, you know? That's what I think.

And probably explains the flowers.

September 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Have to agree, the Diddy cake is killing me! That strange mutant-homey looks like he's literally giving birth to Diddy. Class! lol xx

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

I am so late to the party, they've renovated the building & it has new owners...

Anyway: I would like to chime in on Bindi's cake. My first comment for everyone who thinks it's creepy is "Have you lost a parent?"

My second comment: Just because his pic's on the cake doesn't mean it will be carved to crumbs. How do we know they didn't cut the piece of his picture out & set it on a plate in front of an empty chair, as if he's there & that's his piece?? I have set a plate for my deceased mother, as a symbol that she is ever-welcome & always included. Does this make me creepy too, or do I have to include a pic? (Yeah, this entry got under my skin. Sorry.)

Just because this family is famous gives us no right to judge how they grieve.

January 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

I think P. Diddy should have called Duff G. lol

January 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGabrielle Kime

The one with the photo cake? That was just rude. On her tenth birthday, too. It makes my Hormone Anger swell up, almost as bad as how I feel about the short story "Eleven". (i so wanna rip off the heads of Mrs. Price, Sylvia, and Phyllis. NOTE, THESE ARE BOOK CHARACTERS, NOT PEOPLE. Just thought you should know that. (do i know anyone named Sylvia?)

February 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatWag

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