My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Long Shot

This is not the post that was originally scheduled for today.


Because the original post - which was written last week, mind you - said the following:

"As some of you know, Jen and I are currently touring around this great country of ours talking about cake, signing books, and trying desperately not to vomit. As of today, Jen has lost two fingers on her signing hand and has twelve different strains of the flu. Other than that, though, the tour's going really rather well."

Yep, that was John being funny, and yep, he apparently has now picked up my uncanny knack for pre-writing posts which foreshadow terrible events. Only this time, it's personal.*

If you're wondering where we are right now, here's a hint:

[crickets chirping]


What do you mean, "that doesn't help any?" C'mon, isn't it obvious? That's only a super-famous sports logo for a super-famous sports team!


Ok, fine, if I have to spoon-feed it to you:

Now do you know where we are?

Er, no, not "the home of the flame-broiled Loch Ness Monster." Sorry. It is the home of the "Longherns," though, if that helps any. I'm surprised you can't see it, though. I mean, don't those cakes look exactly like this?

(I suggest you go look at those Wrecks again now, to better "appreciate" them. Heh.)

Ok, last hint:

What, nothing? Tch. Look, I don't see how this jumbled mass of shotgun shells and strawberries could make it any clearer. [head tilt] Well, unless maybe you held them up to a mirror. Heh. Yeeeah.

Margaret I., Leti S., & Jennifer F., that last one really is in a sorry state, isn't it?

- Related Wreckage: The Tell-Tale Heart

* In the past two days John has suffered a head injury, pneumonia, and a staph infection of the blood. As of this writing he's still in critical condition, and the remainder of the book tour has been canceled. (Because when we wreck a book tour, we wreck a book tour.)

« "So Funny" In Bold, with Exclamation Mark | Main | Tour Wreck - UPDATE »

Reader Comments (547)

Wow, that sounds serious. Poor guy :(

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstarification

o_O What luck you guys are having! Perhaps you are having cake withdrawal?

Wishing you both a quick and uncomplicated recovery (at least no more so than it's already been). I really mean it this time... you both need to get healthy!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNJS

OMG Jen, how scary that your husband is so sick. Hoping and praying he is on the mend very soon.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

I've never posted here before, but have been reading your blog for several months now. I just wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you, and John will be in my prayers. A safe and speedy recovery!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlexis Clipboard

John & Jen - We prayed for you this morning in our homeschool. We love CW because it helps teach English spelling, idioms, and play on words. We also love the silly cakes! Get well soon!
AJW and two princesses, ages 6 and 9

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Will keep you both in my prayers.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

I thought you were posting uterus cakes again when I saw the first one.

I'm so sorry to read about John and the book tour. Positive thoughts and wishes being sent your way.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGhoul Friday

I am SO sorry about what all has happened to John! Here's hoping that you both are feeling/doing much better now.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Oh, my. When it rains, it pours. I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope he's better soon.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKate at Serendipity

How are YOU doing, Jen? We're all sending prayers for both of you.

Oh, and even though I had already grasped that the first one was ostensibly the longhorns insignia, I looked at the second one and thought, "Oh, look, a dinosaur push-me-pull-you"

the" rel="nofollow">Monday Morning Crisis Quarterback

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi Zikmund-Fisher

so good to know that you guys truly put everything you have into your wreckage--cake or otherwise. I'm so sorry to hear both you and Jon are sick, and I am keeping you both in my prayers! I'm just glad I was able to see you in Chicago before you both got sick :)
"I'm not dead yet!"
"I got better."
"It's just a flesh wound!"
(a few Monty Python quotes to get you through your day. heh.)
-Courtney, aka IWUwombat

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

Honestly thought that first one was supposed to be ladies' undies.

Best of luck Jen and John and get well very soon!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterk-bro

OMG! I'll be praying for his speedy recovery.


October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When I saw the first 2 wrecks, I thought "They're in a uterus?" What's really rather frightening is that the second one looks, shall we say, less than healthy. Hope you and John are better soon and get home without any further problems.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You sure the emblem on that second one--the brown "football"--isn't part of the gynecology sequence instead?

--Nonie, no longer living in the land of The Texas Longhorns, Rockers of the Burnt Orange. (The Ugliest Team Color EVAH!)

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNonie

get well soon guys!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

As a native Texan and a Longhorns fan, I am horrified. I hope John feels better! My sister has had a staph infection and it was not fun. Y'all are in my thoughts!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkathryn

Praying for you both... hope he gets better pronto!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKel

Wishing you both a swift and complete recovery!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRhean

Praying hard for you guys. You do give it all 200%, don't ya?! Hugs from Oklahoma ~ just above that sorry state you presently inhabit! :D

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrsMerengue

The second one looks like flame-broiled uterus + fallopian tubes.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

That first one looks like underwear.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJayna

Please take care of yourselves! As for the cakes, my first thought with that first one was that it looked a bit like a uterus.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Best wishes for Jon's speedy recovery! And also for your continued health. I hope you can bring him home to recover soon.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

Jen and John,

I'm so sorry for John's illness and injury! I'll keep you both in my prayers that he makes a quick recovery, and you can get back to home soon. Jen, your humor despite your situation is so inspiring. I check into CW EVERY day. You are a blessing in my life.
Ann M. - IL.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sorry to hear about your husband! Hope everything gets better soon! Love your site!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Prayers for a speedy recovery for you both! John, I hope you get good news today!

Here's my favorite joke (it's terrible, and popular with the 5-8 year old crowd)...hopefully the pain of it will take your mind off of other things:

Q: What's green and has wheels?

A: Grass...

...I was just kiddin' about the wheels.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLoren

Oh my goodness! You and John have my prayers for sure! Take care and keep us posted as you can.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMonique in TX

So are you in Austin? Cause if you're not, using the Longhorns as a hint is just cruel.

But if you are, I can bet 100s of fans are willing to find your hospital and overwhelm you and John with lots of jokes and cake. You know, to make y'all feel better. :)

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRemy

Hope you all get to feeling better soon!

That first cake looks like an some upsidown fallopian tubes.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I like today's cakes. As an Aggie, I'm required to applaude the desecration of anything to do with the Longhorns. But the backwards Texas is just sad.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor@MyOlderBrothers

Sending prayers and good thoughts to you guys. Which is worse - being is a hospital or being in a hospital in TEXAS :)

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I hope John's recovery is a quick one. We're thinking of you up here in Canada, eh? Take care of yourself and know we're all routing for you.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertclosson

Woot! Have fun in Austin! (At first I thought yall might be in Chicago.)

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLesleMora

I knew right away that was a longhorn! Only because I live in Austin, mind you, hehe. I'm so sorry about the sickness, and I wish you both well asap! You will be missed in Austin!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSpiritMama

I really hope your husband improves quickly, thank goodness he has the humor of these postings to help him. Longhorns. Texas. Um, do they have school systems there. Anatomy classes? Any clues?

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered

Look at you - posting a hilarious post in the midst of medical trauma. I hope laughter is indeed the best medicine and that John is better very soon!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLara Starr

Sending multitudinous good wishes to John. Get well soon.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGaladriel

Hope you are both better quickly. Will be thinking of you.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Im very new to cakewrecks and I love this site. Sending prayers and well wishes to jen and john. much love

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh Jen and John, I am so, so sorry that you guys got sick. And that John is still so very sick and stuck in the hospital. And away from home at that. And a head injury on top of that?! Oh my. You are both in my prayers.

God bless,

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

I hope that John makes a speedy recovery. Best of luck to you both.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarilyn

Yeah the first one is underwear, the second reproductive organs... and the last one yes a pile of shotgun shells and strawberries.

I'm so sorry you're sicky icky. Hope you get better soon!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

Oh Jen, I think you could have taken a day or two off from posting!!! I mean, if anyone got all snippy about it, the rest of us, *ahem* would have taken care of it!

Anyway, more prayers going up for you two, especially for John's recovery.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJade

Well, technically, the longhorns are in Austin, and you guys are in Dallas. But since you've both had a rough few days, we'll let it slide! Get well soon!

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

My best hopes and thoughts of wellness are with you. I barely scraped through an extremely dangerous and rare form of pneumonia myself a few years ago, so I understand how shocking and frightening a situation you find yourself in. I hope the good will and love of all the people who get joy from reading your blog every day is a buffer and comfort, and know there are thousands of people out there, wishing you well.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvie A, Santa Cruz, CA

OH NO! Please get better soon.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDuffmano

The first one looks like an enormous tongue, or maybe the gaping mouth of a terrifying wreck monster. It's not even the right color! Are you SURE it was supposed to be a longhorn?!


October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSkye

I hope John is better soon, with his sense of humor intact.

As for the cakes, I thought this was going to be another riff on uterus cakes. Longhorns? I'm so not seeing it.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHIssy Stitch

Oh wow, I hope your John feels better quickly!! Poor guy.

October 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercuregirl0421

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>