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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Feb262009

When Common Sense Isn't

You're right, Benoit; I'm guessing they didn't get that tip, either.

Nice to see that they understood that there was something important about the 12 bit, though. Do you suppose the wreckerator was putting that extra layer of icing on and wondering what the big deal was about the number 12, anyway?


Thank goodness that all fit, Diane V.; I don't know WHAT the decorator could have done to shorten the inscription. Do you?

(And fyi: Freymoto is a clever smash-up of the happy couple's last names. Nifty idea, no?)

« Willy & Wally, the Cake Wreckers | Main | Kids These Days »

Reader Comments (110)

I am beginning to think that many of the wreckarators do not speak English. That is the only way I can imagine some of these mistakes is that they had no idea what they said.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh Jason, oh Freymoto! It's easy to see your friends truly heart you, by giving you such pretty cakes before 12.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBibi

I'm also wondering why Jason has a cake with a flower and purple icing.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacy

Correct me if I'm wrong, but that top cake ("big tip") is for a kid named Jason?
with purple icing... and a flower?

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterZev

I'm guessing they didn't get a tip afterall. XD!

ah! I <3 reading these kind of wrecks! It's amazing how people just don't have ANY common sense!

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternanshi

You can have two choices of the following: Fast. Pretty. Cheap. It's design law.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLessa

I still find it so hard to understand how decorators can be so stupid. I decorated for several years and if someone put that on a piece of paper my brain would know what to do with it. And if I had ANY question the person's phone number is always on the order form. Sheesh! I'm just flabbergasted!

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterleannwoo

This is my favourite kind of wreck, but my appreciation of them is dampened lately because I just can't believe that anyone would put that on a cake.

I envision instead a little horde of Wreckporters ordering cakes as ambiguously as possible and when asked for clarification claiming that yes thay DO want it on the cake, "It's an in-joke."

The worst I've seen is a t-shirt for a "D + D" tournament and it turned out that they printed exactly what was on the form. The person who did the ordering didn't know how to draw an ampersand and thought the t-shirt printers would magically know to convert her plus to one. Now I know we're lucky the t-shirt didn't say "instead of plus put an ampersand" at the bottom.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

that would of been the best cake ever made. Fred Smilek is the acting president of the Society to Save Endangered Species. It was founded two years ago by Fred Smilek along with his two best friends Charles and Jonathan. http://www.fredjsmilek.com

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

THESE are the kinds of wreck that ONLY a native English speaker -- a very, VERY, VERRRRRY dim one -- can come up with. A non-native speaker would come up to clarify what the order meant.

this is really depressing. a part of our taxes are going towards creating these half-literate nitwits who think they know it all (and people still blame immigrants - wow!!)

...shaking head at wrecks, and at many of the comments...

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Despairing Educator

I'd totally want to hit the decorator in the face over something like this.

Or maybe I'd just pay for it and then send a picture of it your way...

*morons*

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

Thank you. I needed that laugh today!

Word verification: dessing. Maybe the decorator thought dessing up the cake with a purple flower would help.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

ummm, I also love that it seems to be upside down too!

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

I'll say it again - these people DRIVE themselves to work!!!

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter*~*Lis*~*

@James Bong - Cheer up, if we'd done the clever mashup thing we would have been Johnson Sand.

Don't guys get afflicted with that after hanging about at the beach?

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

wow -- so my dad's 60th birthday is coming up and i'm PETRIFIED to order a cake... perhaps it should just say

Happy Birthday... and then we'll buy those tacky candles that say 60 so there's no scary wrecks made... you've scared me from ordering cake :)

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love it! Thanks for my smiles today!

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

Unfortunately, there are *many* "concrete" thinkers out there who will follow directions to a "T"! :P

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, wow, that was fantastic.

I love it!

But heart in the place of word love.

And I immensely enjoy the outlining of the number 12. It makes it look like it's supposed to be read with more intensity than the rest of the sentence.

Like: "Big tip if it gets there before TWELVE!"

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara B.

This is definitely my favourite kind of wreck. Ugly cakes are just ugly, but ones like this - and like the "one that started it all" - just reek of a whole other level of idiocy altogether. So, so funny.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJayunderscorezero

hahaha...i am reading these at the office and that "put heart in place of word love" cake gave me away...I laughed out loud.

*woops* :)

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterashleyalvina

it took me a while to understand the first cake. I thought it was a virginity joke with the flower being there and everything! I FINALLY got it after about ten minutes. Ugh.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm pretty jaded and, in general, nothing really surprises me, especially examples of human stupidity. However, these literal cake inscriptions always make my jaw drop. I love it when you post them -- in a gawking at a car wreck kind of way -- but OMG are there some stupid people out there.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnother other mother

I LOVE (replace with heart) Cake Wrecks!

How do the wreckerators make it thru life on a day to day basis?? Are they the ones who try to blow dry their hair in the tub? or iron clothes on their bodies?
Are bakeries hiring illegals who do not read english?

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDiane

It's called a portmanteau, Jen.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

I don't care what it says, just let me at that chocolate cake! Oh yeah!

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNat

The chocolate cake would have been kind of pretty too... I think these people ddeeefffinetly can't speak english.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfalcon

what 12 year old person named JASON (I am assuming this is a male) likes a purple birhtday cake, with flowers?

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Well... I'm sure there could be some boys called Jason who would like purple and flowers...

Aaaaand... it really could be a girl anyway!

http://www.babynameshub.com/gendercompare.cfm?Name=jason&Submit=Go!

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

Um, yeah, meant to add... if the purple, flowers and name are all good, as others have mentioned, it's a shame that such a beautiful cake was spoiled by the literal mistake (which surely can't have been deliberate).
And the <3 one... oh dear...

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

this is whyt you should write down exactly what you want.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMad Izatie

Well, this is funny, really it is!! But the Wreckerators just write what is on that little piece of paper that they are told to copy, verbatim. The real dummies, of course, are the people who order the cakes...THEY are the ones who presumably are supposed to speak/write understandable English. If I were a Wreckerator, at minimum wage, I would do the same thing. And so would you.

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKerry

I'm pretty sure that lots of non-native speakers of English can spell "definitely", not "definetly" :)

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

lol, omgosh the chocolate cake has to be on the top ten list. That is too funny.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

thats a classic, put heat in place of word love! I must admit, I was guilty of the same thing once crazily writing card messages for flowers on valentines day, I wrote lol instead of lots of love, luckily we caught it berfore it went out!
I always look forward to your latest posts, it makes a crappy day great.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteremma

I LOVE the literal lols! You know, it took me about 5 minutes before I worked out what the writing said on BOTH cakes...the writings were so...swirly. Unless "Jason" was a girl, I'd feel really bad for the kid for that pretty flower and PURPLE lettering... (you know what they say about purple, eh? lol) As for the second one, the decorator obviously decided they'd try to fit everything in O_o

The first cake looks really nice from a distance, until you read the inscription. When I first read it, I suspected that the buyer meant they'd give the baker/decorator a big tip if delivered by 12pm/am... you know, sort of an incentive to get it in early or on time?

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhot-stff

Thank you to Vinca Leaf Quilts. I totally couldn't figure out what the first cake said!

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterhbpen

Totally unrelated, but just got an e-mail with these fantastic cakes. Enjoy!!
http://www.tom-phillips.info/images.a/russian.cake.contest.htm

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ahhh, I love these - good old fashion wrecks. The candles adding up to thirteen are too funny. Although a thirteen-year-old would know what a wreck the cake is, so that's too bad. At least when the cakes are for little kids, only the parents are disappointed.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

When I see these beautiful-but-literal cakes, I can't help thinking what kind of wrecks I would have made if I'd had to write inscriptions on cakes in Finnish before I really spoke the language well. I suspect I would have made cakes very similar to these... except mine would not have been as beautifully decorated.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

Thank you Margaret for pointing out that *some* 12-years-old boys named Jason might actually like the purple flower. It's a refreshing change from the "Happy Birthday with Violent Superhero" macho crap that so many parents seem to think is the ONLY acceptable boy cake. -Robin the Catlady

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, how ridiculous. Haven't you ever thought that professional cake decorators are 'wrecking' cakes because customers can't follow directions?

You are supposed to write VERBATIM what you want on the cake. The decorators aren't stupid - they're actually the ones with the sense of humor.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just don't understand how this happens! I think Alisa Knits must be right about them not speaking English very well. How else could these cakes happen?

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenene

Cakes aside (and these are hilarious and tremendously sad), it disturbs me that so many comments have indicated surprise or disbelief that a cake with purple writing and a purple flower could be for a guy. First off, I would suggest that you all take a look at what male teens are wearing these days. (I know, I teach high school.) Pink is no longer verboten, sneakers come in all colors of the rainbow, etc. And hasn't society gotten to a point where colors don't indicate anything? As a girl, I always wanted a blue birthday cake when I was a kid, but way back then it was considered unusual. We're in the 21st century, folks; purple is far from feminine. And does that mean there is only one acceptable color for a guy's cake--blue? Is red OK? Green? What about orange? What makes a color a masculine color anyway?

--Lisa

WV--nonolesa: what I heard when I asked for a blue birthday cake as a little girl. (My name is Lisa!)

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

People, we have no idea how old 'Jason' is - stop insisting (s)he's 12. The '12' refers to time the customer wanted the cake delivered, not the age of the recipient.

Apparently the wreckerators aren't the only ones who can't read.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't believe this cake is real. I worked at a bakery. Several people are involved in the cake-making process. First, there is the person writing the cake order. Second, the cake decorator looks at the order to make sure nothing is misspelled or confusing to them. Third, the same cake decorator (or a different one) puts the icing on. Finally, all the envious/bored clerks look at their cakes.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGabriele

I would be really, really entertained if they delivered it on time and still got their tip.

February 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlice

Apparently it's not OK for a guy to have purple frosting on a cake? what is wrong with you people???

February 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkendra simone

When I saw this I thought it was some parents wishing their soon-to-die kid an early birthday...

March 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelter

My husband said for more info on where they find these people go to darwinawards dot com.

March 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterValerie Neal

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