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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Mar022009

Nah, These Won't Traumatize the Kids at ALL

These cakes are all quite nicely done. I'm sure that will be of some comfort to the kids when they're in therapy.

Sock-hop it to me, Audrey R.!

Yes, happy birthday, girls, from Headless Flo and her Tinker-Toy Poodle Skirt of Probable Misfortune. ("Doom" was taken.)

Now, who wants ice cream?

"No, no, Patrick, the dinosaur isn't trying to eat you. He's here to party!"

See? Look at that cute little party hat! It really bring out his razor sharp teeth, don't you think, Selah?

Speaking of teeth...


This looks like the aftermath of a fairy-tale massacre, or in other words, a-DOR-able! [sing-song voice] Say, Arloe S., is that middle pig coming or going?

[announcer voice] "Hey parents, are you tired of boring, peaceful birthday parties? Want to add a little more excitement back into the one-year celebration? Then ask for the Dead Elephant special!"

[Kids yelling] "Yay! Dead elephants!"

[announcer] "That's right, kids! Yes, these delectable globs of deceased pachyderms tell the world: this party is gonna be killer!

"Side effects may include screaming, crying, thumb-sucking, sweating, itchy palms, irritable bowel, and a life-long fear of blue animals. Not recommended for children with nervous constitutions or sensitive bladders. Dead elephants are not responsible for any damages - real or imagined - done to your children. Void where prohibited, all rights reserved."

You've got a killer eye there, Andrew C.

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Reader Comments (125)

I thought the elephants were drunk! HAHA They had a little too much fun at the party

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeckster

At least they're blue to show that they're dead... Although making them a little more purple-y grey might have made them more realistic.
Poor kid!

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterj.cro

Please tell me those elephants aren't solid frosting!

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNulono

i think the t-rex cake is way awesome and makes me think of a cake my 12 year old brother would want.

the 3 little pigs is hilarious!
dead elephants, not so much.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAren Michael

Maybe the dead elephants isn't celebrating a kids birthday, but the one year being sober mark??? Or maybe the baby just realllllly hates elephants?

I loved these though!

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTobias

Wow! I've been missing out! It hurts to not laugh this hard, under my breathe, at work. Well I've been under a rock for way too long...found you on the Weblog Awards page. Congrats!!

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjake

Must...eat...bad bad wolf. Wow...that one was just...wow.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

My boys would love the dinosaur, although my 2 year old says it's a crocodile. They like dinos, and the scarier, the better.

I think you missed something on Headless Flo. I think even more disturbing than the fact that her head wouldn't fit on the cake is that she has ARM STUMPS! Arms would have fit on the cake, which makes the lack of them seriously creepy.
Maybe she should have added a cupcake head and made it a CCC!

And Three Little Pigs? No, it should be called "Pig Butt Cake."

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

At first I thought the dead elephants cake was a replica of the 'hungy hippos' board game.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHelen

Hey mom I think the Hungary Hungary Hippos died of starvation

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchristi

I have to say that my 4-year-old daughter would LOVE the scary dino cake. She (and her similarly aged cousins) would have thought it was the coolest!

And they also love any large quantities of icing. Perfect for that age group.

March 3, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbridget

I kind of like the dinosaur cake!!

I just don't understand the dead elephants - especially not on a first birthday cake! Maybe they're figuring the kid will be too young to be disturbed and will instead concentrate only on the cake?

March 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIn the Meantime

I think the "dead elephants" cake might be political: were the "blue" states Republican? But I don't understand the "1" shape in that context. The elephants are cute, anyway.

March 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter=Tamar

Yes I think the dead elephant cake is political too. Dead Elephant is a website....wonder who the G might stand for? :)

March 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I particularly like the X-eyes.

March 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHungarican Chick

My 5 y.o. daughter saw the Big Bad Wolf cake and said, "Looks like he blowed too hard."

Yup, piggy segments everywhere.... Ew.

March 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathy M.

I'm not entirely sure if those dead elephants werent meant to be dead. Uh-oh!

March 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterReilly

I doubt anyone's going to read this far, but I thought I'd put in my 2 cents. :-)

I have to say, I love the dino cake. Kids love that sort of thing. When my brother was 3 or 4 (don't remember exactly), my mom asked what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday. His response was 'Dinosaurs attacking a train'. So she got a little plastic train cake topper and little plastic (not cake topper) dinos. And there was the 'dinosaurs attacking a train'. He loved it.

April 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnneLions

my soon to be 4 sister pointed at the dinosaur cake and said "i want that cake!" and i just don't understand the pig cake.

May 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought those elephants were drunk.

June 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wreckerator #1: "Ok, I'll make it, but I have to warn you: I haven't learned how to draw heads, forearms and hands yet. Or dogs, for that matter."

The 'one year of sobriety' theory for the last makes a heckuva lot more sense -- and is much cooler -- than a carnage-themed first birthday party.

July 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Hmmm ... Ahhh...
Um actually trying to decided what I feel 'bout these - hmmm ...
I think you might need to rethink the cakes, the kids might have nightmares- on their birthday!
;( Hop Rabbit Pleaseee

April 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCOOKIEMONSTERMAD

My sister and I's 15th and 16th (we'd share parties due to our birthdays' being so close together) birthday cake had a passed out pink elephant and a bottle of booze. xD Our original cake was dropped so whatever could be found at the grocery store was purchased. Did I mention that this was before Christmas?

September 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStarburns

Scary, frightening, nightmare-inducing, devilish, devastating, spooky, eerie, evil, macabre, cakes.

February 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSynonymGurl

I want to know the back story of the dead elephants cake...I mean, what kind of cake did they request???

July 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

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