My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Twilight of Our Discontent

Unless you've lived under a rock for the past year or so, you know about the vampire lust phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before a bakery, in an attempt to appeal to the "I'll buy anything with Edward Cullen on it" crowd, decided to recreate the iconic book cover on a cake.

So here's the cover:

Aaaand here's the cake:

I'll give you a moment.


Ready? Back in your chair? Good.

Now, can I appreciate the irony of a vampire cake that sucks?

Of course I can.

Do I mind that the apple is now a red bell pepper?

Nah, not so much.

Would I still like to know what the Wreckerator was smoking when s/he made those flabby-yet-disjointed amoeba arms?

[nodding] Yes, yes I would.

Kelly L., I know you have a stake in this, so I hope you won't be cross when I say looking at this bite-sized sucker is making me downright batty.

[bowing] That's five! Five puns! Mwah-ah-ah!

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Reader Comments (233)

Oh wow, I could make a better cake... and that's not saying much!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNow You Know

I'm saying it's a Van Gogh take-off on the book cover... very artsy, yes?

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

oh my, I love the Twilight books but there isn't enough money to get me to sink my teeth into this cake. It must have been made to repel Vamps, not to entice them. At least make it look faily human if you must recreate a bookcover.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElaine

Wow, that cake is almost as bad as the Twilight books themselves...

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Maybe that's not really a representation of the Twilight cover. Maybe it's a representation of Renesmee's birth in Breaking Dawn. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, consider yourself lucky.)

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKitten

YES!!! more twilight wrecks please!!!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlyndsay

Copyright issues?
Not with those jellied arms - it's
slapstick parody!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy


Quel humour... mordant!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Archduchess

Sweet sweet irony. Like the books (and the movie), this cake is a good idea poorly executed.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany


Call it flawed logic if you want to, but it's really a moot point.

Next time, I invite you to attach your name when you insult strangers for liking something you don't. Anonymity is a real safe place, ain't it?


April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterashleyalvina

"Here, honey! I got a "Twilight" cake for your birthday!"

"Yeah, Mom, I've always wanted a black frosted cake with an albino octopus's tentacles holding a squashed tomato. Gee, thanks."

--Blue Jean

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey! The cake's just like the books! Wrecktastic!

I will admit to reading them, and relate them to Twinkies and trainwrecks- they have no substance (well, the Twinkies, at least), are bad for you, but you just can't look away from the carnage.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKels

I am sooo glad I am not the only one that cant stand the series. If you want to read a great vampire series, try the queen of vampire novels Anne Rice or if you want a more contemporary series try Maggie Shayne.

Anyways the cake is awful and it just adds to my displeasure about the series.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSexy Witch

Twilight? I thought it was a Simpsons cake featuring Grandpa Simpson offering a salad ingredient.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, that cake is totally disgusting! Great job with the puns though!

I'm happy to add myself to the list of women who haven't read Twilight, and don't ever plan to. In my opinion it isn't the sucky sounding plot that makes these books annoying--as I don't really have problem with reading delightfully bad romance, even of the teen variety--but rather how obsessed the fans are. I have a cousin who is one of the obsessed fans. She wasn't much of a reader before, but now she refuses to read anything but Twilight, and she's read them all multiple times. Scary, huh? She also tries to convince everyone else to read the books, and she even tried to convince her sister to name her baby after a character from the book.

One last thing, did anyone else hear about sparkly vampires and think, "Wow, I didn't know those books were about gay vampires."?

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarissa A.

What goes better with a dark, brooding vampire theme? Why cutesy, cheerful little dotty lettering, of course! (The heck???)

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Fan of the series, yes.

This sad excuse for a cake, not hardly! How could you gag down something that looked that bad???

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercottonlily

@kitty....YES! I was just about to mention Reneseme! I have to admit that breaking dawn was cringe-worthy, but still so bad it was good. The whole series is cringe-worthy but still a fun read for a whole weekend(yes that's all it takes is one weekend of being cooped up with seasonal read the whole series). Let me tell ya though....If you look up Twilight and fanfic ....wholesome goes right out the window!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermandy_Reeves

Ahaha, I don't know what's worse. The books or the cake.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Eighty Year Old Woman Give Birth To Bell Pepper...exclusive photos only on cakewrecks!"

~Gwen B.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That much black icing frightens me. My sister made me some music note cookies once, with black frosting on sugar cookies. Can we say green poo for days? Ugh....

Agree with the comment that the books are like a train wreck. They aren't really that well written...yet I was compelled to read them all this past summer. The thing is, she had some good story ideas, but every time I thought "oh, this would be GREAT" she left that to side-note filler. It's good idea, bad execution basically.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT! AND THE LIGHT SAYS TWILIGHT SUCKS! *Gets sucked into the light to read good literature and eat cake*

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentertoyboxgreatone

I bow before your superior skills of punnery.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe Octo Girlie

It was decorated by Vincent Van Gogh! It's all wobbly and impressionistic in a bizzare sort of way.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The puns were fantastic! And I think the saddest part is that the wreckerator didn't even get the font remotely, even a tiny bit, correct.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaci

This cake makes me want to throw up a little bit. But, then again, so do the books. Maybe it's not a coincidence?

Meyer just proves that you don't need to actually have talent to make millions, you just need to know how to manipulate the insecure teenage girl hiding in everyone. That's not genius, IMHO.

And neither is this cake. WTF with black frosting? Yuck!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrosenskimmer

Excellent Punnage!!!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterComfyDenim

Um...why do cakes always have to be decorated "landscape"? If the decorator would have turned the cake long ways, she could have made the arms longer and the apple rounder. That's what I'm just going to keep telling myself anyway.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMandee

I admit I do love Twilight, but this cake, not so much!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I thought it looked like a uterus, but on second glance, yeah, that's a bell pepper.

(and yes, the books are bad but in a hilarious way. I plan to finish them at the beach this summer.)

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

Actually, I think that cake is an excellent visual representation of the literary quality of the books.

Yep. They're that bad.

On a side note, the other day my husband and I rode the 101 loop, which goes through Forks, WA. I knew we were approaching Forks before I ever saw the sign, because businesses started to have references to Twilight several miles out of town.

"Edward Cullen did not sleep here," at a motel.

"Bella drinks orange crush!" at a mini-mart.

Once in town, there's even a Twilight store. They apparently sell Twilight books and memorabilia. I suppose the lure is that you can buy the books and memorabilia IN Forks? Because, omg, Bella lives there!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

My friend linked me to just the picture of the cake at first. Had it not been for the word "Twilight" at the bottom, I would've so thought it was some deformed genitalia or something equally awkward to be on a cake. That's not even meant to be rude, it's just the first thing I saw.

Yay puns.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commentern

maybe they should've done it vertically :/

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm with Ophelia and DangGina: an awful cake befitting a truly awful book.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustin Lockwood

The cake and your comment made me LOL!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdenisewalks

This cake bites...THEN it sucks.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I know this is the internet, so you don't have to believe me when I say I am 17 and dislike Twilight with a passion. So these were almost knee-jerk reactions:

"Like it or not, Stephenie Meyer is a genius (oh she isn't? did YOU write a best selling novel that swept up an entire generation/nation? no? that's what I thought)"
So, what do you think about Stephen King (an extremely well-known "genius" writer) saying that she, ahem, "can't write worth a darn?" For that matter, are you a world-renowned cook? No? Does that mean you can't tell the difference between limp, soggy sandwiches and well-cooked gourmet food?

"They're written for YOUNG people. Get a grip. They're supposed to be set in that mindset."
I'm sorry, but I would like to say that that comment hurts me and says a lot about how bad my generation must be. Wow. I feel even worse for our children/your grandchildren.

"At the very least, Twilight series got teenagers reading - OBSESSIVELY."
I guess it's better than not reading Twilight 24704723814392 times.

Anyway, forget the teeth and gums. Anyone else think the person had black poo for a week? At least it's not sparkly poo.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYuki

A. i just rolled off the bed

B. this is the most comments ive seen in awhile on a post.

C. i got into twilight before new moon even hit shelves. ( im an original fan) and ive been wanting to see twilight cakes for awhile. my curiosity has been satisfied and i never want to see another.

the arms will give me nightmares for weeks.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWakeGrace

Square yards of black icing??? Imagine what your tongue and lips would look like after eating that.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjanet2buns
April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe it's just because I'm expecting and I go to the OB/GYN a lot, but doesn't that kind of look like... well, um.... Maybe... uh, minutes after the baby is born?

Yeah, I went there.

It's all I see though! Welcome to my hell.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This looks more like the delivery of a red bell pepper.....eeewwwwww

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbarbara

My first thoguht was that it looks like a uterus and Fallopian tubes! Ooh, the black teeth and tongues! Are the books trash or treasure??? I'd call them "junk food" - we all like it, but it's no good for a steady diet! (and yes, the series is disgusting!)

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPatricia


My wife is both a "Twilight" nut and an avid cake-baker. She's gonna love this! :-)

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCurtis

why are the arms all veiny?? thats very disturbing.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It looks like feet holding a red bell pepper!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMz. Cat

I tuned hoping to see some Mother's Day wrecks... just hoping... hinting... nudging even, maybe!

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

this deserves no input from all twilight fans you know its a good im sorry the best story ever told no need to tell ppl who cant read how good a wast of your own breath move along if there wasnt any ppl who dont like twilight then we would all be smart and thats no fun so let there be idiots and let there be twilighters

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the cake is gross tho some ppl should look at what there doing what a disgace to twilighters

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG TRAINWRECK! I wouldn't have even thought those were arms if you hadn't said.

April 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

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