My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Father's Day Wrap-Up

Ok, last Dad's Day post, I promise. (But keep in mind that crossing my fingers behind my back nullifies any and all aforementioned promises.)

Yesterday fathers across the globe were given heartfelt messages from their children.
Messages like, "Aren't you glad you put me through college?"

(And if ever there was an icing color that should be banned, "radioactive vomit green" should be it.)

And, "Penmanship isn't everything."

(I saw "Doty" for a solid 30 seconds before realizing that's a wonky capital "A".)

Or, "Are you getting enough fiber?"


Then there are the less complimentary messages, though I'm sure they were just as heartfelt. Really.

Like, "You dress like a clown. And not even a funny one."

Or, "I can't even bring myself to call you 'Dad'."

I think this one is "Squint your eyes and it could almost be golf-related, Grandpa."

(Get it? "Grandpa?" 'Cuz it says "Father's Dad"?
Ah, you're no fun at all.)

I guess a lot of people were hoping for "happy father dads":

And finally there's the classic backhanded compliment: "You're #1...

" beating orange bunnies with a baseball bat.*"

Vanessa B., Shylah E., Jujyfruit, Amanda L., Mary F., Lauren C., & Bekka T., I hear that's the most sportsmanlike way to go.

* Yes, I know it's supposed to be a fish. So don't go pulling a "Spaceship Earth" on me, hear?

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Reader Comments (86)

That's the most abstract golf cake I've ever seen. I can kind of see disjointed elements of golf in it... allusions to grass, golf clubs, even a semblance of horrible plaid pants. Was it by any chance made by the same wreckerator as the mystery grill/UFO?

WV: mugis. Oh yeah? The cake may be a wreck, but it's still not as ugly as your mugis!

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

I have some cakes to show you! Where should I send them?

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPrincesse

@belle epoque:

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that ARE concerned with how their food looks and as such we will pay for people to make it look good. So when we put our money down and they don't come across with nice looking food...well, simply put..we Do Care!

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Am I the only one who noticed that "You're" is spelled wrong both times in the first two cakes..."Your" and "You'r"'s "You're"!

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I totally saw "Doty" too, and it hurt my brain trying to figure out why it would say that :-P

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm thinking the last CW is a goldfish blowing white air while golfing?

wrecktastic and hilarious. thanks!

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

OK, I had to study the golf cake carefully but finally realized the big round white thing in the "sky" (as opposed to the sorta-round things which I think are clouds) is a golf ball...the blue lines are the trajectory of the ball into the small black hole. It's a bit like a Magic Eye picture but if you squint and stare long might just get it!

Jacq Cooks!

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJacq Cooks

I *think* the maker of the golf cake/cookie was trying to shoe the ball in motion, going toward the hole. They failed miserably, but I believe that is the reason for the blue and white lines.


wv: readm - yeah, the instructions the customer leaves for the cake......the decorator should readm.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WHY are people feeling the need to frost a COOKIE?

i just don't understand.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterevil cake lady

Ali in Exeter...

What's with the Fathers'Day poohs???

Is that like "Dad, i hate you, but here's a cake anyway..."

Bearing in mind it probably tastes OK, is that such an insult?

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAli

I've given up on the "golf" cake (no, I can't figure out the blue lines either) and moved on to trying to make out what else is going on in the next Happy Father Dad cake.

What I'm seeing? A mutant-radiation-green centipede on the left, and on the right, the edge of the shoe that's trying to stomp on it. Charming....

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersunlizzard

No, no, no!

The green one has nothing to do with golf - it's a radar screen! See the little radar arm and the curvy echo lines?

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

On the golf cookie catastrophe, I was thinking the ball in the sky was a white sun and the lines was to show the flag pole thing moving in the wind. That was the only explanation that I could come up with. However, thanks to Jacq Cooks I can see another perspective. Bad execution. And the discoloration in the background is gross and I love cookie cakes!

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie H.

Ok - I've thought about the golf cake for a REALLY long time...and then went away and came back to it again!

Here's the final verdict - The white ball is the golf ball which is going TOWARD the black hole. the blue and white radar grid was supposed to show the movement of the ball, but it's going the wrong way. (I know it's a stretch, but I have NO other clue about the blue netting.)

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

Not in 1000 years would I have realized "doty" was actually "dAy" if you hadn't told me.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIrma

ok so the "golf" one. I was like "Golf? what?!" Then I turned my head to the side, reverted my brain back a couple decades and said "OOOOOHHHHHHH. I see it...sadly. But why did they do that?"
And I also saw Doty until I read your commentary. Then it all made sense.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChrista

Thank goodness you told me that it was a capital "A" in Doty because I stared at the picture for a looong time before I read your commentary and I hadn't gotten it at all....

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca F.

The last cake's artwork is so lousy, I first wondered why someone drew a microphone next to a Pepperidge Farm goldfish before realizing it's a fishing rod.

On the moldy sailboat/golf cake, I thought it said "Happy Father's Dead." Considering the yucky color scheme, I'm sure any zombie dad out there would love it.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

About the "World's Greatest Day" cake, in my mind, I saw GAY+DAD= "Day" So maybe it was saying World's Greatest Gay Dad? (No? Just me?)

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSissy

Okay, is it just me, or does the "fishing rod" in the last cake look like Bob Barker's microphone?

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStudentNurse

I'm with Sunlizzard... I would LOVE to see the whole cake #8- the green centipede thing, the mutant airbrushing... there's SO much more going on than Happy father Dad.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I couldn't work out why the goldfish coming out of his nose (worked over by the baseball bat?) until I realised the baseball bat was supposed to be a fishing rod (with a curious pink dot on the end and a green dot next to it- huh?).
WV: "anold"- the golf cookie was anold one they tried to jazz up (spectacularly unscuccessfully, I would say)...

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercolleenoz

Hey! I was proud to be named Deputy Daddy. I'm thinking I should have a word with the Sheriff, though

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYou're Dad

I'm so glad my cake got posted (the first one)!! I still can't decide what I like most - "your" instead of "you're", "bestest," or the deputy daddy thing.
You wouldn't know it, but it actually had a clip on it so my dad wore it after that.
Great stuff.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMia

Nothing says Happy Falker Satherhood like a giant man-turd cake. Mm-mm.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiz Dinah

I think the last one is a fishing pole.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGenevieve

a) I also saw doty

b) It seems like there are a lot of "cookie-cakes" in the father's day theme... more than any other holiday. Poor Dad, doesn't even merit a whole cake.

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake #3 DOES say "Doty." Had to read your caption and then squint to see it any other way. Just sayin'...

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

I looked and looked at the "golf" cake, and what I came up with was the black line is a sprinkler, and the blue curved lines coming up from it are meant to represent water coming out of the sprinkler. In other words, Dad is only good for watering the lawn.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My husband's Father's Doty gift was getting to read your blog.

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Fiskeaux Family

Bakeries should send their employees to a basic spelling and grammar course, maybe then there wouldn't be so many screw ups! At least it all tastes the same, right?

Seriously? I totally didn't see "DAy" until I read your comment about the "ot" I kept seeing as a "wonky capital 'A'". *laugh*

(P.S. My CAPTCHA is "cocare". I'm not quite sure what it's trying to insinuate...)

June 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMamawheelie

Wow. I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Seriously, made my day, so thanks.

The crapcakes were very disturbing in person -- they glistened with an icky "freshness" that made me think there should be steam rising and flies buzzing under that plastic dome! Eww!

I'm rather partial to "World's Greatest Day" -- so versatile, eh? ;)

btw - my captcha is "triede". They really did, didn't they?

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJujyfruit

I really couldn't figure out what a ballpeen hammer and a goldfish spitting some white stuff on the cake had to do with each other or father's day. Thank you for explaining it is actually about beating bunnies. :)

August 27, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlemur

Ha Too funny! Great laugh just when I really needed it. Class as always. xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

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