My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Transformers Going Down in Flames

I recently got an e-mail from Chunks the Pioneer, who told me she is a HUGE Transformers fan, and naturally went to the first 11:59 PM showing of Transformers 2. She also said,

"After seeing it [the movie] I got to thinking, why haven’t we seen any Transformer wrecks in honor of this occasion??? Please don't make me beg!"

Well, Chunks - may I call you Chunks? - first and foremost, I find it interesting that seeing Transformers 2 made you want to see (other?) things that are poorly made.

Hah! I kid, I kid. (Or do I?)

That said, I'm happy to share my extended collection of Transformers Wrecks with you. 'Course, you'd think there would be several Transformers cake kits out by now, but no, there's still just the one:

As you can see they spared no expense with it, though. Why, that piece of cardboard is actually printed in color.

The best thing about this design, however, is that no Wreckerator on earth can replicate it. It's true. "Pointy" is simply beyond this groups' skill set:

Optimus Prime battles the red fingers of doom.

Optimus Prime battles the great ketchup spill of '09.

Oh, wait, I take it back: this Wreckerator did manage "pointy":

But with fronds like those, who needs anemones? Eh? Eh?

And lastly, my favorite:

Mmm. Speckly.

Interestingly enough, this Wreckerator's '72 Pinto has those exact same flames airbrushed on the front bumper. Which is pretty darn ironic, if you think about it.

Hey Meagan D., Misty M., Alicia A., & Barbara N., what do you call an Autobot in denial?
Answer: A boat!

(Get it? Denial? De- Nile? The river? Yeah, us ex-JC skippers rule, thankyouverramuch.)

- Related Wreckage: Optimus Wrecks

UPDATE: My apologies to Chunks the Pioneer, who I mistakenly assumed was a guy, since she is, in fact, a girl. And thanks for having such a great sense of humor about it, Chunks. ;)

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Reader Comments (84)

The last one shows kids why they shouldn't ride in cars that can transform into giant robots. That's not airbrushing, that's blood.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeaZilla

Oh No! I just order this cake for tomorrow. Ha. We'll see how it turns out.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterQueenErica368

just ordered this cake for tomorrow oddly enough.
we'll see how it goes! haha

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentererica

@ deckardcanine

If you were sitting on top of one of those cakes, you'd be driving towards the flames, too.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I ordered this cake yesterday for my sons 6th birthday oddly enough. picking it up tomorrow. we'll see how it turns out!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Lovely writing on #2 & #3. But the fairy godmother wands? (In syrupy sweet tones) "Oh, Optimus, someday you'll be a real [insert favorite mech-contruct here]!"

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

LMAO I had to read the comments to realize that the red stuff was flames! I had no idea what it was supposed to be. Thank you everyone for cluing me in!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Daphne

LMAO...I had to explain the De-Nile joke to the other half...SNORT

Too funny.

The cakes are just sad. Any chance there is a decent Bumblebee cake out there?

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVix

How come the cake with anemones makes me think Transformers: Primes Gay Pride cake......

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did that last truck hit a deer? Ummm Ummm...road kill, it's what's for dinner!

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

No WONDER you're such a Disney fan. Jungle Cruise is awesome. Next trip I plan on going on it at night when the skippers start to ad-lib more. :)

And I love the Nemo reference. Anam-amanam-Amanaomimes!

Verification Word: Bayed...isn't that what a donkey does?

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeaches1111_00

rendered speechless..

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

OMG..I'm dying. I am a cake decorator in a Safeway bakery and have messed this exact cake up countless times. It is SO HARD to make those flames on top of the blue icing, and to get them to actually look like flames is nearly impossible. The first time I made it, the customer actually went to my manager and complained and we had to give her another cake for free. You should see the CupcakeCake version of it- its 10x worse.

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hahahaha! Did anyone notice that one of the cakes had a sticker saying "Yellow cake" on it? Someone is unimaginative AND colour blind! :P

June 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

I scored tickets to a Monday showing. I'm a dork I know. But these are pretty darn bad , I don't even want to imagine the "cupcake version". And I actually saw a really nice Bumblebee cake here

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBunnyBlue

I love that this design is exactly the same as the HotWheels design, they just stuck a different toy on it: something a little more hip.

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

These look strangely like the hotwheels cakes!

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Sorry, Anonymous, they were definitely wrecks, excluding the first maybe. At least the flames on that one were correct.

BTW, Transformers 2 was awesome! Better than the first which was also awesome.

I think we need to find some "Sunday Sweets" Transformer cakes; there has got to be some out there!

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Oh, wow. That second one has totally ruined my appetite.

It looks more like some disgusting lava/blood spurt chasing the poor truck so that it can devour it and melt it down into a pool of metal goo. It's already started with the candle.

The speckly one made me laugh, though. Seriously? I don't even see anything vaguely resembling fire there.

June 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOzu

the second last one....well...according to my preschooler, he's driving into carrots!

June 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

This is my favorite pun you've done so far...and that's saying something : But with fronds like those, who needs anemones?

I'm still laughing!

June 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's a great pun, truly great, but please give credit where credit is due. In this case, it is due to Roy Blount, Jr., from his marvelous book "Alphabet Juice" (p. 195).

June 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicholas

When were you a JC skipper? Do you know Michael Fargnoli?

June 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennJenn

I just about died at the Finding Nemo reference!

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersarahwalk

So I have to admit I got a little excited to see that you were going to have Transformers cakes on your site. I had sent a picture of my son's Transformers cake right after his birthday in April. At first I was disappointed that my cake wasn't included. But after looking at the cakes you featured, I realized that the cake my son got was not nearly as bad as those. So I guess I have to hand it to our local grocery store bakery for not churning out Wrecktastic least not yet!

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJohn and Alisha Stults

don't worry, the new transformer cakes for revenge of the fallen are on the way. I'm sure they'll be more complicated, and hence, even worse wrecks.

July 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I've done this kit many times at work and these examples make me cringe like no other...

They're not even trying to make it look like the picture! >__<

*face palm*

July 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

Yellow cake? Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't that processed Uranium?

July 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarisa

We ordered one of those for my nephew's birthday a year or two ago. My sister had explicitly forbidden me to make a cake, which I found frankly insulting, as I had a really cool design in mind of head-to-head Autobot and Decepticon logos. But no. She insisted.

Yeah, it was wrecked.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrianX

snapps for owl city! that is where you got the fronds thing, right??

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haha ILU Owl City. <3

October 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSamantha

"But with fronds like those, who needs anemones?"

-blink- I'm pretty sure Fireflies wasn't out six months ago, but I applaud you for the reference anyway. xD There's just one word of difference between your comment and the lyrics. -starts humming the song-

"With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

I love your blog, by the way. I've spent the past five or so days reading through all the posts, starting from the beginning. My brother's asked me a million times what I'm laughing at.

February 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLore

* I correct my last comment. I meant 'The Bird and the Worm', not Fireflies. I had the wrong song stuck in my head. ^^;

February 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLore

"But with fronds like those, who needs anemones" is also a line from the Owl City song "The bird and the worm"

June 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

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