My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Graduate! Celebrate! "Decorate!"

If you're still planning a party for the graduate in your life, then these bakeries would like you to know that they are ready and willing to provide a whole host of graduation-appropriate cake designs...

On Styrofoam.

Sure, it tends to stick in the molars a bit, but it's extremely low in fat.

NOTE TO BAKERS: Icing tends to slide off of Styrofoam when displayed at an angle.

NOTE TO CUSTOMERS: Regard all cakes stored flat with extreme suspicion from now on.

If for some reason you feel compelled to have a photo of your grad on the cake, then this bakery obliges with either a traditional, "boring," photo, or the hip new "green-out silhouette" option:

Also great for grads in the Witness Protection Program!

And for those customers who may become confused, thinking they have to purchase a cake with someone else's photo on it, this bakery provides a helpful clarification:

Congrats! You spelled "your" wrong!

But suppose your grad is spiritually inclined? How do you tastefully incorporate his or her religious views into a graduation cake? Well, this bakery shows us how...

...not to do it.

And lastly, this bakery wants you to send your graduate a really heartfelt message.

Specifically: "Your face looks like a butt."

Oh, and "your cap is ridiculous, with its teensy little robot arm."

Victoria W., Maya J., Denise R., Leanna P., and Patricia B., "you're thanks here."

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Reader Comments (144)

Maybe that last one really says, "sure, you graduated, but you're still a BUM!" LOL...that one's too funny!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer W.

Wow- HaikuJohn?

I'm glad I didn't see the "teensy little robot arm" sticking out of hair.... eew.

WV: Barref - the butt-cake with chocolatey pimples makes me want to barref.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLizard

I'm totally getting my husband an ass cookie for father's day!!!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuperMom

I laughed out loud, here, all by myself for an extended period at the last one. My goodness that was funny! Thank you!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGrace

as someone who went to Catholic schools, I totally get that religious one (I saw way too many of them but at least it's more interesting than the boring flowers and mismatched piping).

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

Lily - the purple thing under the cross is the cuffs of the sleeves of prayer hands.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

I can't believe all of the people that are pointing out that she misspelled 'its'. There is a huge difference in not paying a ton of attention when writing an entertainment blog and not paying attention when decorating someone's cake. I'm pretty sure Jen wouldn't misspell something on a cake.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Sliiiiiiiiiding...mmmlllbleehhhh. X_X

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Wow. They're awful, but that last one...what were they THINKING?!?

Megan @

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMJ

Actually, I think you mean "'re face looks like a butt."

I do enjoy your site. Thanks for it.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Oh my gosh! The butt cake! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!! That is just tooo darned funny!!!


June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKritterBugg

As for the apostrophe issue, maybe I can help clear up beyond just "English is stupid."

"It" is a pronoun. You also don't use an apostrophe to denote possession with other pronominal forms, as with ours, hers, his, theirs. Apostrophes are used with nouns and/or as contractions, as in "the cat's got milk" or "Jane's going to the shop." All very simple, really.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMJ

I'm so many things:
Sweet, smart, tanned, and strong-chinned, but
Don't call me butt-face!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Dear God, that last one's RUDE.

AND you get to pay to bring it home!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbeege

Um, is that a headless pope in the upper right hand corner of the religious one?

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternoricum

In a world dominated by lolcats and txt msgs, I am surprised that anyone knows how to spell, use proper grammar or even just ennunciate their words properly anymore. I sure don't.
Oh yes, and the butt cake has given me a days worth of smiles :)

WV: masiver-what the vetran CCC decorater said to the rookie CCC decorater, "No, no, no! Use more icing, it needs to be masiver!"

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Entertaining and educational.

This site rocks!

Thanks to everyone for clearing up the its vs. it's for me. Now I know when to stick an apostrophe between my its. (that sounds a little nasty)


June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPetalsYoga

Now, this is something I always wonder when I look at these cakes: Why, oh why are they on a shelf in a bakery section somewhere long enough for someone to sneak a picture?

I think a standing ovation belongs to the fellow employees and employers that say, "hrmph, that looks pret-ty darn good."

p.s. yeah, its was misspelled. who cares??

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

"Congrats! You spelled "your" wrong!" Hahaha! That is so great.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Melanie, I saw something similar involving hair... and string. Let us just say that it was disturbing. And the religious one, WTH is going on in the upper right-hand corner?

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCecile

"Also great for grads in the Witness Protection Program!" Probably my favorite line in this post. So funny.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just love the butt-face cake. Creative ways to use a heart-shaped pan. Why let the pan just sit on a shelf and pull it out just once a year? Good thinking there ... (um ... not.)

The one with all of the holy flotsam looks like a "this is your life" for the Catholic set. Several sacraments (Confirmation, First Communion) are covered; plus the general crucifix and praying hands. They just threw in the Graduation flotsam as an afterthought. Maybe this person only got one cake and all the bases had to be covered!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

I like big cookies and I cannot lie...

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlory von Hathor

"with its teensy little robot arm" had me cracking up! thanks for the fun :)

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermegan

Oh too many funnies today! I'm lovin' it... First a purple blob (Jonah?), then a butt-cookie/nutsack "cake," and then Jon cracking me up after all the hoopla about a silly Monday-morning whoopsie. As always, Jen, thank you from the bottom of my upside-down heart!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commentereilbeback

Ummmm.... That's not a butt. Although it is found on the other side of the taint. As for the "tiny robot arm"... welll... *snicker* I guess it's not the size that matters.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGwenhwyfar

Sad.Sad.Sad. How awkward would it be eating a butt-shaped cookie? mmmmmmm..sign me right up.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Wow, I did not see a butt on that last one.

I saw a certain kind of hair, with a certain kind of dangly man parts below it.

I guess that goes to show where my mind is!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRocky

One word: ASSHAT!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjulie in arlington

I'd have to concur with those who think the last one looks like a scrotum.
In a word, ew.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFrank

Laughing out loud at the cookie one. Maybe it's supposed to symbolize "Congratulations - They even let butt-holes graduate".

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i see boobs. Is that bad?:)

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOVING the butt/nutsack one more all the time! :-D The more I look at it (and read comments here) the funnier it gets. Laughter is the best medicine for everything.

Thanks, Karin for setting me straight that Jonah surfing on a whale is really a cuff with praying hands emerging. Now I see it!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLily

If you're going to use styrofoam, use royal icing!! Since it's so much like plaster, it doesn't slide off anything. I should know, our wedding cake was styrofoam, and that sucker had rock-hard.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjanet2buns

I totally saw that first display at wholesale store today and WISHED I had brought my camera!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

It took me a minute to realize that thing at the top of the upside-down heart was a graduation cap. I too though it had an arm. Yikes!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPink

And here I was just wondering to myself... "Hmmm, what can I do with that heart-shaped cake pan that sits around 364 days a year?..."

Of course! Turn it upside down and make butt-shaped cakes for all my butt-head friends.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStuffCooksWant

I'm in the "that looks more like frontal nudity than a butt" group on the cookie cake. And, really, whatever gender the recipient is, they should be offended.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

definately looks more like lustrous pubes than any kind of hat.
on the brackets and full stop thing, i think that is a variable rule and in the uk the full stop goes inside the brackets and in america it goes outside. or the other way round perhaps... but either way which one is right depends on where you are.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbryn

Actually, after attending our school district inservice today, the "green out" cake is probably a cake aimed at gang members. This has become a new trend--to post a picture tinted in your gang colors.

Loved the final picture!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dont worry "bout" the it'ses. Coulda hapened to inny-one.

Your the best!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterA-not-Ansel

Okay, you guys: if that last entry is of the front of a guy, then that is the saddest little bent blue penis I've ever seen.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The green photos raise so many interesting thoughts, irradiation, off planet exotic bakery there. Love the bottom cheeks, what were they thinking, especially later when they put it on display and stood back...hmm now what does that remind me of?

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJay

Ahhh Cake Wrecks. A place to get my laughter, and also learn a few things. WHat could be better in life?

I know! A little robotic hand to scratch your male front butt. Finally, guys can scratch their stuff without offending the general public. Quick, somebody patent that!


June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I stared at that first picture forever... I couldn't figure out why they looked so funny! I just thought they were really badly piped... Why the heck would you put them on styrofoam and then prop them up at an angle - and then not take them down when the piping and icing started sliding?!?!

WV - twebobs --- I can't think of a funny way to use it, it's just a good word!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Jen did NOT, in fact, make a punctuation error in this post.

Learn your grammar rules before you critique someone.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTristan's Mom

Thank you, Cake Wrecks and comments writers, for the uproarious laughter you induce! And thank you. Lily and Karin, for asking and answering my "huh?" at what looked to me like more dead fish filets on cake... I love you all!

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlkhomework

I was looked at the first photo (sliding frosting) without reading first and was all, "What is going on here?" I didn't realize the frosting had slid, I thought the cakes were just oddly (creatively?)decorated.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMalibu Niki

Love it!

I missed a wrecky photo-op yesterday as my phoen with camera was dead. But the CostCo near me had a slew of the same "congratulations grads" (although all spelled properly) cakes in different colors representing the local High Schools and a key taped to the cooler to show which schools were which colors. Great asset for the parent who has missed their child's school colors for four years. But the real wreck was that amidst this sea of sloppily-piped caps and tassels there was one half sheet that simply said "Happy Cake" on it. I am tempted to go back and see if it's still there. At least the cake is happy.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

On the issue of it's vs. its:

I confess it's one that I frequently mess up. And I am pretty sure the confusion comes from how we are taught to punctuate possessives. When it comes to a pronouns, nouns, or proper names, there is an apostrophe. For instance: "The table's leg is broken." Okay. Well, we aren't saying "The table is leg broken.", so why the apostrophe there but not here: "I just purchased this table. Its leg is broken."

The apostrophe should be used consistently or not at all, in my opinion. And yes I know you that correctness dictates one can't have an "opinion", but language and punctuation does evolve over time, so nyah. Anyway, the rule to leave out the apostrophe because she's not saying "your cap is ridiculous, with it is teensy little robot arm." makes sense - but so then why then doesn't: "It would be Robert's last attempt." mean "It would be Robert is last attempt."?

Anyway. blahblahblah I'm pretty sure there are at least 5 unnecessary punctuation marks in my post. Have at it grammar/punctuation patrol.

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle S.

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