My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

This Should Even Things Out

After all the gorgeous Harry Potter cakes we've been featuring the past two Sundays, I figured we should tip the Wreckage scales back into balance.

[brushing hands off] Yep, that oughta do it!

Ok, one more:

Oh, good, they included the famous "three orange volcanoes" from the books/movies! Can't have a Harry Potter cake without those, now, can you?

What's that? There ARE no volcanoes - orange or otherwise - in the books or movies? Oh.

Well, then at least they have the big, green...smokestack? No...field! I think it's a field. That grows straight up. Er, because it's a "magical" land. Yeah.

[shifty eyes]


Well, then, how about all those randomly scattered, teensy little photo circles of Ron, Harry, & Hermione? Now those really are "magical." [nodding earnestly]

What, those don't work for you either?

[frustrated sigh] Look, bub, it says "Harry Potter" on it in big frickin' letters. What more do you want? Now shell out the $21.50 and learn to deal, Ok?

Amy B. & Monique R., have you ever wondered who would win in a Harry vs Voldemort RAP BATTLE? Then watch this and find out. (And here's hoping I'm not the only one who thinks the Dark Lord's rhymes are way sweeter.)

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Reader Comments (110)

Is it me or did UGLY betty and Harry Potter have a VERY ugly child together?

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCottagecheap

I just need to look at that face on the first cake and I have laughs for a lifetime!

Brianna M.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

As fugly as cake #1 is, I could take it in good humor. Cake #2 would piss me off incredibly though. What the AYCH?!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

I don't know about you, but that 3D background in the top right corner of the first one really sells that cake for me. But you don't really notice it because you're too busy trying to decide which ugly spell Harry got hit with.

You have to admit, at least the first wreckerator tried. The second looks like it was just slapped together.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Me again...

I love the randomly placed circle pictures of Harry, Ron and Hermione on the last cake. lol! So weird. The cake would almost be good if: no circle photo things, no volcanos, no huge "Harry Potter" across the entire cake, and a mini Hogwarts beside the forrest.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNichole LOVES Cake

C'mon people! CW#1 is clearly just Harry after Hermione put the stinging hex on him when the snatchers came to get them. I can totally tell because of those outrageously large lips (there really are 3, aren't there?) and nostrils. Duuuhhh! Now his powers include super human tasting and smelling skills - he can taste/smell anything within a 200 mile radius! Go Harry!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

i looked at the first picture without reading any of the text and thought it was yet another lousy michael jackson tribute... oh dear.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNichole

what's with the scenery stuck to the top right-hand corner of the first cake? at least i think it's scenery...

i'm going to have nightmares about ugly harry tonight.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAbbey G.

For sheer awkwardness, Harry Potter's personalized pastoral volcano scene is right on par with an episode of Popeye when Bluto was reading a Playboy magazine with a cameo picture of Olive Oyl's face on the cover.

I feel strangely beguiled and revolted.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTags

@Cottage Cheap -
You beat me to it! I was thinking Ugly Betty!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermissyjreed

Crustee said: "But I do believe the look the wreckerator was trying to portray the book "Harry Potter and the Chromosomal Disorder." Obviously."

...that's what I thought, too. 0_o

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#2 must be for the sequel, "Harry Potter and the Melting Traffic Cones".
Yeah, that's the ticket.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

That's hilarious!! I think Harry Potter reminds me most of Piggy from Lord of the Flies. truly

But since you pulled in the Potter rap, have you ever seen the two anti Walmart, er... Lord Waldemart vs Harry videos?


July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

It's okay, they're not volcanoes but mountains! Orange mountains. With yellow snow. Hmm. Okay, never mind.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDavid M.

Ok, so if the green is a field, then the blue must be the orange cones must be safety rafts. I am not sure what the floating clouds could be. Wait. Ok so the blue is sky, and the white clouds, and the 3 giant safety the green must be the wall that signifies the edge of the earth. Or maybe it's the hole in the ozone layer.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

I agree with the first commentor- the mini faces totally look like pogs!!! Do those still exist?

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSkye

Initial reaction to the first cake:
"wow, pretty bad...GAH! There's lettering on there!"

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeffB

BA-hahahhahahaha! Those cakes are too much! And the rap battle... I am laughing so hard I can hardly type! He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had some pretty sweet ryhmes but nothing beats expecto partronum. LOLOLOL! Thanks Jen you rock (or maybe rap?!?)

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah Hollett

The first cake looks like Weird Al dressed as Harry Potter. Shame...the colors and the writing are pretty.

That second cake looks like somebody's really weird dream.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBree

What hurts the most?

The fact that the first cake would be utterly gorgeous if they'd left off "Harry."


July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

First of all, thank you for bringing on the Harry wrecks!
The first cake clearly shows Harry under the effect of the cruciatus curse. The second one... I'm going to make a stretch and say that's the giant squid's tentacles reaching up from the lake. Yeah, that's it.
WV: grabso-an inappropriate spell used by cheeky wizards.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Anonymous, why are we the only ones that identified the giant candycorns? I want that piece! Mmmmm, love me some candycorns!

WV: expentat. No expentature was spared on getting just the right shade of orange on those candycorns.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWATERBABY CHRISTINE

I just showed the first one to my daughter who will be 8 in 6 weeks. I told her I was getting her that cake for her birthday. The look on her face was priceless.

Great new use for Cake Wrecks: Scare little kids with what could be their next cake!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

The first one - the 3D "scene" in the top right seems to have been taken from a cake topper set:

Scarily enough, I recognized this due to having used it for my kid's birthday a few years ago. The grocer-store decorator used the example cake photo as inspiration, and it wasn't that pretty a result, either.

And you know, it looks like cake #2 used that as inspiration - there seem to be orange volcanoes in it? And - ugh - there were in kidlet's cake a few years ago, too, now that I look back!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

I think I might crack open "Harry Potter and the Three Orange Volcanoes," you know if it was a slow day...

And while the Potter/Voldemort rap battle is pretty sweet, it's got nothing on A Very Potter Musical.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJacqueline

Someone mentioned Marauder's Map fdor cake #2. I agree! And the "volcanos" could be a quidditch tornament stand. And I think the wrecker was trying to make this cake 3-D by placing clouds over the lake... for a birds eye view. Or something. Cake #1, I am at a loss for words. That cake would be GORGEOUS except for Harry!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAunt of 14

Thanks for your blog! Too funny. Now, one of two things (or both) is probably going to happen. 1) I am going to start making my own cakes, because seriously I can do a really horrible job all by myself for a whole lot less money and aggravation and 2) I am probably going to get fired for spending way too much time checking out your blog. This is great stuff!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The little plastic faces are actually cheap plastic rings. I have one at my desk! I got mine perched atop a "Harry Potter" cupcake.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one does remind me of Harry being hit by one of Ginny's Bat Bogey curses. But did anyone also notice the Puss in Boots eyes he's sporting there? The lettering and borders are really pretty though.

The second one...well, no words can even come close to describing what the wreckorator must have been thinking when they 'wreckorated' the cake. Really the only way people would know that it was a Harry Potter cake is the giant 'Harry Potter' scrawled across the middle and the strange little face disks. Why would someone ask to have 'Harry Potter' written through the middle of the cake instead of something like 'Happy Birthday' or whatever?

Harry Vs. Voldemort rap was awesome! Ol' Voldy had the better rhymes, but the Expecto Partronum was pretty sweet. I loved the end when Voldemort cast the Killing Curse on everyone and then wondered why he didn't do that in the first place. Too funny! Thanks Jen!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorrigan Le Fey

Now, y'all just don't GET it!
The last BOOK is out, see?
Harry is no longer a baby, a child, or a teen.
He is all grown up.
In fact, he's quite ELDERLY, now...
And, he dyes his hair--all that publicity went to his head, and he's really quite vain.
The mouth *issue* happened when this cake decorator caught him off-guard ("YO! Potter! Over HERE--SMILE!") and snapped the unfortunate photo, which was put into cake form, as you see before you (Exhibit A).
Just so happened that poor Mr. Potter's dentures were slipping when the picture was taken.
Happens to the best of us.
P.S. There is no Exhibit B. Be thankful.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

You're all cruel people. Harry and Ginny got married and had children. This is one of their children. As you can see, he's a bit 'special' The other two were quite ordinary and unremarkable in every way. This is the only one that had adventures worth noting.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

I thought the first one was Michael Jackson with glasses.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKerri

Voldemort wins the rap!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

MY EYES MY EYES!!! well....Voldemort couldn't do it. But apparently the common every day grocery store baker can

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first one reminds me of Simon from Alvin and the Chipmunks!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When I saw the first cake, before I read the text, I was sure you were doing "Ugly Betty" cakes today!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Well, the scroll work border on the first cake was well done, except for the colors, but nicely wrought, anyway.

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLorraine

i think the first one looks more like ugly betty. :)

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterklixtopher

Oh good! I was hoping you were doing something potter-themed for Daniel Radcliffe's birthday today! :D I wonder if *he's* ever gotten a cake wrek ....

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWolfenM

What's sad about the first one is, that apart from the horrible Harry (and the stand-ups really need to go, too) the decoration on the cake is just gorgeous! I love the colors, the swirly piped edge is so well done and the lettering is perfect. So what happened to the rest of the poor thing?!

July 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

I saw that Vid a couple of weeks ago.

Harry got pwned!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaishay

hhhmmm I think the second cake may have been a really bad Dora the Explorer cake that they just stuck some Harry Potter stuff on....???? Maybe???

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBunnysmom

Yes! This made my day!

I've been hoping for some Harry Potter wrecks ever since the good cakes were posted.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTisha

The first one reminds of Fat Albert and the gang.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, I loved the heated HP book discussion on the first Sunday Sweet's post! In order to balance things out, I think we should all be on the lookout for John Steinbeck Cakes, James Joyce Cakes, and Jesus Cakes. I know they're out there. Go Jen Go!

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecca

I like the Harry Potter cake..=D Lovely!

Summer" rel="nofollow">A Writers Den" rel="nofollow">The Brown Mestizo

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSummer

I'm not a Harry Potter fan, but I have to admit those made me laugh. :)

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Have you seen "the faces of Meth" ? This is Harry after Meth.

here's the link:

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Those aren't volcanoes, they are TEEPEE's, HELLO! McFLY! THe teepee scenes were my favorites in the 8th movie.


July 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristi L.

Ugh, I remember seeing that first one when I did a Google image search on 'Harry Potter cakes' to see if anyone had done good ones. (Which, obviously they have :)) Poor, poor Harry, he looks like a white Steve Urkel. I wonder what the poor birthday kid thought of it?

Not sure what's going on with the second, though I'll agree with others and say it does kind of look like the grounds and lake outside Hogwarts. But the volcanoes . . . wow. Maybe the wreckerator got HP mixed up with Lord of the Rings and decided to draw Mordor and Mt. Doom.

July 24, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdesibarbossa

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