My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Two Words, Bakeries:

Drug screening.

Seriously. You guys might want to look into it.

You also want to make sure the DTs are over.

"Triangle Man, Triangle Man,
Doing the things a triangle can...

And just FYI, managers: Drawing a tuxedo-clad "Triangle Man" with webbed feet is not compelling evidence of sobriety. So you probably shouldn't pick that guy to do the window display:

On the other hand, if you ever have an occasion that calls for a clown to run over another clown who's broken in half while stabbing at a third clown - who's drowning - and all three to be surrounded by bucks, bucking broncos, and mysterious brown swirls in the sky... well, then, you should probably seek professional help.

Courtney C., Jen C., Kirsten K., & Samantha R., I get by with a little help from my friends.

- Related Wreckage: Back to Basics

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Reader Comments (172)

Am I the only one who thought the clown cake featured reindeer and palm trees along with everything else?
My birthday is next week, and now I know what I want!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Ok, so I get that they were trying to do a butterfly cake, and I get the rocket cake too. But I really need to know what they intended with the green mess on Nate's cake. I mean, really, I can't fathom what they were going for, it's a 4 year olds birthday cake for goodness sake. I have a Nate at home (an 8year old one) and he doesn't get it either.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaitlin

Jen, it sounds like you're having a bit of a fight with Triangle Man. Not recommended. He tends to win.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBillDarryl

*blink blink*
That last, well...speachless.

That is all.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina M.

Too funny!!! The commentary really enhances the experience...

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRosie_Kate

What the hell are the green lumps supposed to be, broccoli?

And you forgot to say GIANT clowns (in relation to the size of the deer and horse)!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuzy Voices

It makes me wonder who is in charge of 'quality control' and are there any managers at all?

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaddy

Maybe the first cake IS Particle Man... I mean... not that what he looks like is important...

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMalMal

Got a question about that poor drowing/bestabbed clown -
"When he's underwater, does he get wet?"

Hooray for TMBG!

WV: biessl. As in, if you don't know how to decorate a cake, you can at least bluff and make it biesslicious.

Ooof, that was a stretch...I think I pulled a brain muscle...

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTuggy

Thanks for the TMBG references!!!! Now I kinda do want to have a Triangle Man cake for my birthday... I wonder if I ask for a "Birdhouse in your soul" cake what would I get...

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanae

Just doesn't get better than crazy squiggles with monochromatic writing, made up frosting characters and insane flotsam combos.

Save the clowns, Triangle man!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterknitorpurl

Poor, poor Nate. All he wanted for his birthday was a Cabbage Patch cake...

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeDiouS

I saw that last cake as a window display but I didn't have anything to take a picture with.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Okay, that green thing is for a 4 year old?!?! What is the theme for that party?

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Me!

Hey, the last cake's not weird, it's surreal. Where else could a clown bend in a way that the human body's not designed to go?

I think I had a dream like that once. Took me a week to get over it.

--Blue Jean

Word of the day; "unmen" as in "what that clown's doing is unmenly impossible."

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think I want to *hug* you for the Particle Man link. So many memories.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

trying to win trying to win trying to win, he's triangle man

wv: dround I hate it when clowns dround

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEm

The first one--aww, it's a happy butterfly. On acid.

2nd one--Umm yeah, was that made on "take your preschooler to work day?" 0_o

Rocketman--well, it's sorta's a chibi rocket! =D

Clowns--BWAHAHAAHAHA Revenge for everyone who is freaked out by clowns! THEY TURN ON EACH OTHER! mwhahahaha...

Seriously. People PAID for these. *shakes head* Ooookay.

WV: stict--If I ordered a cake and got one of these wrecks, I'd stict the bakery with the bill.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

The green one reminds me of two year olds painting on t-shirts with puff paint. I think the third one is supposed to be a space shuttle, but with buttons.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChris, Gina and Hunter

Your TMBG reference made my day. I remember seeing the "Tiny Toons" music video for that song... I was six years old and fell in LOVE with They Might Be Giants. Not in love so much with the triangle cake, though.

(By the way, I'm a longtime reader, but have stayed silent in the shadows for the most part. Love the blog!)

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelsi

You have to give the clown cake decorator props for actually putting fingers on the clowns. Usually those horrible blobby clowns have sausage-y arms that terminate in an oversized mitten, or a round squirt of frosting.

...never mind that the fingers are identical in design to the clumps of grass lining the riverbank.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTA

am I the only one that likes that last cake? I mean, its just so funny and strange that I kinda love it.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlondeShot Creative

ha ha ha! tee he tee he!
laughing my face off!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia

BTW I think "Particle Man" must be a knock-off of the original Spiderman theme.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTA

I think the "triangle man" is a space rocket. If you look at the bottom, it looks like flames out of the exhaust.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What happens when Triangle Man meets Person Man?

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThomas

Is there a W.A. out there, along the lines of A.A.? "My name is Joe, and I'm a wreckorater." "HI, JOE!" "Once, I had a slip for a happy birthday butterfly cake, and I fell asleep with the airbrush on! That was my lowest point. I came straight here after that. I haven't made a CCC (ptooui) since!"

WV anofl- Oh, look! Anofl cake wreck!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfrigglesnitz

My 3yo just walked over to see while I was looking at the enlarged pic of the last cake.

His first response: "That's my *favorite* birthday cake! I LOVE IT!"

Then (to his brothers): "Guys, come here! Wait, Mom, I gotta show that weird cake to the boys!"

I can see the rocket on the triangle man cake, but what is the green squiggle mess *supposed* to be???

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Rocket? Triangle Man? I thought it was a faceless isosceles penguin. Or is that equilateral? Gah! Geometry before coffee? I have lost my mind.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPhoenyx

I think bakeries probably draw a lot of drug-test-dodgers. They have munchies fodder, they talk about stuff getting "baked", and they use vibrant (edible!) colors. If I were high, I'd definitely want to work at a bakery.

Saddest part about it is the shell and ruffle border on that clown cake is PERFECT....i do think it is appropreate that all the clowns have "x's" for eyes though.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternicole

I thought this site was awesome before, but you've just stepped it up a level with a TMBG reference!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJason

Just a note to say that Particle Man is one of my kids all time favourite songs. Nice touch!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaryn

Those were seriously disturbing.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

People, Triangle man is not a rocket! He's Baby Morris Day's butt crack at Epcot!

Actually I think Triangle Man would make a fab mascot. You can put a little logo on the more popular wrecks that says: "Triangle Man Approved!" with Mr. Triangle Man giving a thumbs up.
And he needs to be on a T-shirt, of course!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Pity - the scary clown cake actually has very nice sides.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSili

Geez. My eyes hurt.

Just FYI: hardly anyone around rodeo says "broncos" anymore. Just "bronc" or "broncs". LOL

~Amy B.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Maybe it's because I'm not familiar with the TMBG oevre, but I, too, came up with the Spidey theme for the Triangle Man. Am I dating myself? Sigh...

I also thought that Triangle Man was a rocket, until I saw the pom-pom on top of the triangle. Sooo, maybe it's supposed to be a black & white clown whose hat is covering his face? Just guessing.

The Fellini reference for the last one made me laugh. Clowns and ponies don't mix, otherwise.

Great post! See you in Austin!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

TMBG!!!! My two favorite things have coincided today: TMBG and Cake Wrecks.

Maybe I should get an awful cake tattooed next to my TMBG tattoo.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMark

Delirium tremens and silly string! Yay!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

LMAO @ Triangle Man. Good stuff

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Delerium Tremens is a mighty delicious brew though...

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

I can imagine that a 4-year-old would like a silly string cake. Maybe not all in green, though. Love this blog. Thanks for the daily laughs!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkadyb

Universe man, universe man. Size of the entire universe man..

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicol3

Wow - once again I am speechless. The ccc butterfly (ptooie), the green on black icing blobs, the horse/deer/clown/car/palm tree cake - priceless!

PS: Am I the only one here who doesn't know that TMBG is??

WV: mindstop - the sight of the last cake made my mind stop working this morning - HAHAHA

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCatmania

AAAHHHHH! AAAHHHHH! My brain is exploding and my optic nerve is incinerated!

I'm not against most drug usage, but I *am* against being intoxicated while at work. They need to save that for home in the evenings! That butterfly is just insane! And the...cabbages? with the scribbles? There is no excuse for that. None. I want to march in there and scream YOU'RE FIRED!

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

I'm probably not the first to suggest this but...I am starting to think Wreckorators are doing this on purpose in order to see their handiwork on your website. I mean, seriously - these can NOT be on purpose. Can they?

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMira8

I always laugh at your posts. But "triangle man" seriously made my eyes water as I laughed. Seriously.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeewee

Triangle Man reminds me a bit of a penguin. Feet sans happy.

Long time lurker, just wanted to say thank you for keeping me laughing through the duldrums of an office job.

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah C.S. Ashworth

I'm Nate's mom. Just wanted to clear up we did NOT order a silly string cake. It was supposed to be an "Indiana Jones" inspired delight. My husband and I thought it hilarious nonetheless, and 4 year olds really don't care what a cake looks like....right?

August 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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