My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

What's THAT Supposed to Mean?

To their credit, the folks where Monica's husband purchased this tried to talk him out of it...

...but apparently, "He just wouldn't listen." So here's Monica smiling in a way that says - through gritted teeth - "Take the picture already...and then get that camera and other breakables as far away from your face as possible."

I don't have the story on this next one, but the underline is six kinds of ominous, don't you think?

Well, when you combine it with the whole coffin thing, that is.

And here's my favorite:

"Come back tomorrow, and we'll celebrate our second."

Personally I find this hilarious - but then I also think it's fun to introduce John at parties as "My first husband, John." Keeps him on his toes.*

Photography Tip of the Day: Unless you want people to think you topped your cake with stewed prunes, you might want to rethink photographing those glazed strawberries in black and white. Unless of course they ARE stewed prunes, at which point photography should be the least of your concerns. [shudder]

Today's Wrecks brought to you by: Monica B., Meghan R., & Anony M.. Thanks, guys!

*Love you, Sweetie!

- Related Wreckage: Mixed Signals

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Reader Comments (142)

This has nothing to do with saving whales or marriages - I just wanted to let you know I'm coming to Orlando (to see your barf bag) and I'm having a heckuva time coming up with a cupcake design for the contest. Everything I've thought of so far, while hilarious, is either completely obscene or grossly offensive. Curse you, Borders, for being family friendly! Back to the drawing board...

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterstudiorose

I'm sure you've gotten this a hundred times (and I'm at work and in a rush so I can't read all the comments, sadly) but I'm hoping that first cake is a reference to The Simpsons. Homer buys Marge a cake like that in one of the tellings of their wedding story.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterViewtiful_Justin

The only way I think of that would make that coffin cake appropriorate would be if Mandy, as someone else has mentioned, just finished mortuary school. Or just became a vampire.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathrine

Also, the whale cake, in design and inscription, is what Homer Simpson gave Marge after their marriage in a casino chapel, saying something about a "first class wedding reception" as he put it down on a picnic table. I've been really quite shocked lately, that a blog that is certainly part of pop culture seems to be so completely ignorant as to the rest of it.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Maybe Mandy got a role on "True Blood"

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I notice he gave his wife a butterknife to cut it with...probably a smart move.
@ Emily at 12:03...I guess we all have better things to do than keep up with every blessed episode of what you deem to be pop culture. I've seen my share of the Simpsons but had never seen the marraige episode. I guess that's what we have you for though :)

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCara

Stewed prunes. Nothing sounds more like a party than that!

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbodoba

My friend and his wife had settled on naming their unborn son Jonah, until my friend was stupid enough to say "you know, because he's in the belly of the whale!" to his hugely pregnant wife. I almost died laughing!

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

@ tencats/Kelly:

Yay! I'm glad I'm not the only one bothered by the fact that the coffin lid is is the wrong shape! And also not flat.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeli

That last one reminds me of something that happened to me when I was engaged to my now-husband, 10 years ago. My boss's cousin (quite a character) was visiting and I was giddily recounting the wedding prep we had done over the weekend. The cousin said to me, "Oh, you're engaged? How nice! Is this your first?" I just about fell on the floor! I was 24! I was like, um, YEAH!! To this day, he remains my first and only. Let's hope it stays that way! LOL

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlearp17

LOl I have seen a lot of Simpsons episodes and I didnt reconize that cake till I read the comments so not everyone knows everything. I know a lil about a lot, and a lot about a lil!!

Now I think the coffin cake is for someone just got divorced!!!!

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura killian

Emily's comment (Jonah) had me laughing harder than the cakes! (The cakes had me laughing, too.)

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJess

at first glance I thought those glazed strawberries were frosting rats and their leaves little tails.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPooh's Pics

I would think the coffin cake would be for someone coming out of mortician's school.

Also, what does the WV- mean? Where people use made-up words in sentences?

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWhit

As soon as I read that Whale cake, my Hubs would be wearing it !

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

Learning about the Fudgie the Whale Cake from Carvel made me need to do some yummy research. And then I found the Cookie Puss cake underneath Fudgie. It scared the putrid prunes right out of me!" rel="nofollow">Have a look here!

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPetalsYoga

My husband and I jokingly refer to each other as "my favorite husband/wife" (this is our first- and planning on only- marriage)

Thanks for the laughs!

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

I'm pretty sure that first cake is supposed to be Epcot.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm glad you mentioned that the last photo was black & white. I thought it was just some very poor cake color choices!!

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

I'm sure I'm not the first today to say this, but the first cake is a classic Carvel cake: Fudgie the Whale (for a whale of a dad - it's a father's day cake, tradionally). Fudgie is in good company with Cookie Puss (who the Beastie Boys rap about), Cookie O'puss, and the Santa cake (the Fudgie pan turned sideways).
While these cakes are sort of wrecky, they are not wrecks. They are an institution for anyone raised on the east coast. Plus they are ice cream and have chocolate crunchies in them. Nothing wrecky there.
And remember, Wednesday is Sundae at Carvel!

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterschinders

Whoah, Emily @ 12:03, the gloves come off when I miss a Simpsons reference, huh? Yeesh.

And in my (meager) defense, Monica never mentioned anything about the Simpsons or the cake being an inside joke. Maybe the husband meant it as such and she didn't get it? Heh, that *would* be rather awkward. :)

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

The "first husband" reminds me of one of my friends, who liked to annoy her mom by introducing her parents (who have been married for 30 or so years, and never to anyone else) as "this is my mom, and this is her husband, Jim", as if her real Dad was her step-father.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

The whale cake was from the episode of The Simpsons where Milhouse's parents divorce and Homer worries that Marge will do the same (it's from season eight and the episode is called "A Milhouse Divided).

The scene was a flashback to the part from season three's "I Married Marge" where Homer and Marge get married at that quickie wedding chapel after Homer knocks up Marge at the golf course (the actual scene with the whale cake wasn't on "I Married Marge,"; it was just a new scene they added for "A Milhouse Divided").

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterC.L. Young

This is for Whit:

The WV is indeed a made up definition/sentence for the word verification needed to send a comment. Hilarity can ensue. :)

wv: guesmo: I guesmo color is needed for the last cake.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

lol. "My first husband" When I get married, I'm going to do that.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

When I was dating my now ex-husband, he introduced me to his parents as his "future ex-wife." He seemed to think it was hilarious.

The marriage only lasted a little over a year. (To my defense, I was 22 and stupid.)

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyndi

My mom introduces me to people as "my daughter from my first marriage". She's only been married once - for 39 years. I've actually had people turn to me and say "Oh, Ray isn't your Dad?" Yes, actually, he is. LOL

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkimbalaya

I told my boyfriend that he HAS to get me a "whale of a wife" cake. Simpsons FTW!!!

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterashley

My hubby and I always joke about who will be our second spouse-usually celebrities so completely far fetched.

And he got me a "to a whale of a wife" Fudgie the Whale ice Cream Cake on my 30th. Unlike the sweet girl in the photo, I was quite pleased! LOL

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

A Whale...seriously? She could always return the favor and give him a donkey cake that reads, "to one donkey of a "first" husband."

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterInventing Weddings

Love the whale/Simpsons one. Hubby said he was going to get me one of those one day.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTyphoid Ashley

Fudgie the Whale strikes again! XD

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

oh, is that what those are on the last one, strawberries? To be completely honest, I am not feeling very observant, and I thought the cake was in black and white and gray icing and that those were just big blobs of icing.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan the Muse

In regards to that last cake, it reminds me of an anniversary card my husband once got me that said...


To which I replied, what is that??? One of many??? Lesson learned, now he only gets me cards that say "To THE one I love!"

WV: Paryph...I better be the only one you love or you're gonna get a paryph knuckle sandwiches!

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

To all the wanna-bes out there...The "Whale of a Wife" cake was indeed featured in an early episode of The Simpsons. However, its appearance was inspired by, as someone else mentioned, the Carvel ice cream cake portraying Fudgy the Whale. The joke was it was horrible for a Father's Day cake, to begin with, let alone for a wedding cake directing what could be construed as an insult to your new wife's physique. And yes, the Simpsons parody came long before Patton Oswald's ripping on Carvel. L2 pop culture people. Really. You'd think camp wasn't cool or something.

...And no, I don't think a Simpsons reference can be considered an "in-joke", Maggiethecat. Nice try, though.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Emily 12:03 - Holy cow. She's got Dr. Who, Harry Potter, Star Wars, and god knows what else under her belt and you get snippy because she missed a Simpsons reference? Aren't we being a tad bit critical?

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchibidraco

I'm going to start introducing my husband that way. Love it.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeAnn

On the bright side, the grammar on the coffin cake is FABULOUS!

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLolly

For some reason, my first comment didn't make it through (I'm certain I got the WV right, though. Weird.)

Anyway, as I am strictly an anti-Simpsons fan (can't stand the show, although my husband loves it), I didn't make any kind of Simpsons connection with the first cake.

In fact, the first thing I thought of was the idiom "a whale of a time." While I do agree that it's kind of inappropriate to give a whale cake to your wife (unless you have an inside joke), I just figured that her husband really enjoys spending time with his wife and that he thinks she's a lot of fun.

Also, since she doesn't particularly look pregnant in the photo (although it is kind of hard to tell from the angle), if it was a Simpsons reference, wouldn't it have been more appropriate if she was?

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Personally, I think it's a disturbing sign of the times if we're joking about "starter" marriages at parties. o.o

As for the first cake, it's only REALLY offensive if" rel="nofollow">harpoons are mentioned. ^_^;

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfpelayo

PS: The Simpsons' Whale of a Wife episode was in 1997, and MY Whale of a Wife cake was in the 1980s.

WV: amptooki--Yoda confessing to the theft of band equipment

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDottie Park

I think the fact they used B&W photography on that last cake makes it even wreckier than it would be otherwise. That's just NOT an appetizing look.

re:yesterday's post -

Last night I went to the grocery store and checked out the bakery to see if the giant ant toppers really were a trend and sure enough, EVERY cake AND cupcake pack had those giant ants all over them! The cupcakes had a watermelon deco pick to go with at least but still. I wish I was able to get a picture.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawnspring

I thought the last cake was an ode to "one bonbon is poison."

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

One of my friends' friend wanted me to make a 3D whale( the Mom) and a baby whale on the side for our mutual friend's baby shower.
She was utterly surprised when I refused. LoL

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

subtext of cw2: "it's *your* funeral."

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

The first photo reminded me of a birthday cake we got for my late grandfather some 21+ years ago. He was a huge ice cream fan. He was turning 70-something, and it said, "Happy Birthday to a Whale of a Dad," and was quickly inhaled. I remember little else about it...but I agree, a whale of a wife would not go over as well.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Whit.. regarding WV and silly phrases:

You have to type a word verification to submit your comment. Phonetically use that word in a sentence.

My word is manter... It don't manter if you know what you're doing, the bakery will still hire you as a Wreckorator.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Right before our wedding my mother-in-law threw a huge party for her grandchild. Everything, and I mean everything, was labeled with "Aiden's First Birthday." She decorated for our wedding and our joke was that everything was going to say "Jon's First Wedding."

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Oh! Oh! I know what the coffin cake is all about!

Remember the SIMPSONS episode in which Marge discovers that Homer is having an affair with ...ah...that of Florence Honeydew. Anyway--Marge sends that coffin cake to the floozy. Oh, and she had put poison in it. Yeah. The tramp was really stupid; she actually ate the cake without even knowing who had sent it . Then she died.

I love that episode.

(Season X, episode D18,007--as I'm sure EVERYONE who is ANYONEalready knows.)

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Love that last cake. My husband does that too... introduces me as his first wife. I usually have some snarky response like "Not for long if you keep that up." He just smiles as if to say "You're not going anywhere and I know it." Ha.

August 4, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStuffCooksWant

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