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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Sep282009

You Can't Get There from He-ah

Hi, Guys! Anne-Marie here. I live waaaay up north, in the beautiful state of Maine (State motto: "Crap, it's cold!").

In case you were wondering:

1. No, we do NOT all own snowshoes and snowmobiles.

2. Yes, we CAN make it to the bathroom in the middle of the night without the use of a jacket or a flashlight.

3. Yes, we actually DO use the word 'wicked' in everyday conversation, and not just for the entertainment of you tourists.

Next, a few more Maine factoids:


State flower: The Pine Cone. Sure it smells like sap and dirt, but when your nose is frostbitten, everything pretty much smells the same anyway.


State pet: Moose. (Granted, this isn't terribly realistic. I mean, that grass is green.)

State Bug: The Lobster. Break out the butter, folks!

(Little known fact: When you drop a lobster from approximately three feet, it almost always lands on its shell.)

So there you have it: A summary of all things Maine. Next time you're up here, make sure you try the bug. It's only two bucks a pound, ayuh!

Thanks to Allie M, Samantha P. and An O. Nymous, who are obviously wikkid smaht.

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Reader Comments (101)

Just wanted to know what makes the last cake "traditional". Is it the lobster with the splayed legs on blue icing? Is this a seasonal cake? A special day cake? It also seems to come with a gold rating according to the label on the box. Hmmmm.
Cindy Mitchell

wv: ledis Ledis ponder the history of this cake.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Ooooh - my sister Ann-Marie is living in Maine now! Coincidence? I think not!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristine

From one Maine-iac to another, I can say that this post is wicked funny and all very true.
Cheers! Amanda from Houlton (AKA too far and not worth the drive)

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I spent a year working in Bah Habah (Bar Harbor) Maine and I never heard anyone say wicked. Plus, lobster was still expensive because its a tourist trap. But I definitely remember the black flies. Oh yah. The black flies.

That moose was just an extra horse head cake that didn't sell and they slapped some trash bags on it.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

I was relieved that the moose cake was a moose - at first glance I thought it was a strange fat bat. It makes a much better moose than a bat. My other comment is a question...a lobster is a bug? I'm from Texas and we do have bugs big enough to strap a saddle on, but is a lobster an aquatic bug? EWWWW

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Nice Pet Semetary reference. ;)

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkarmapearl

Maine sounds a lot like over here in Michigan. [and yes, we DO have fingered gloves, not just mittens]

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterColleen

People in MA say 'wicked' too.

That plane lobster is scaring me. . .

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrachaelwrites

what are the black things dropped on the first lobster? Did he find some fine caviar to munch on?
Love state bug = lobster! Whenever I saw one of the old Maine license plates, I'd always think a cockroach crawled up onto the plate and was hitching a ride!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlbinoBlueCrab

Jen had better watch her back, is all I have to say. Those captions were hilarious.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix
September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

I thought the 'pinecone' cake was a bike helmet cake.
Still strange, of course :-P

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I'm from Canada (Toronto, Ontario) and this post made me laugh out loud! I thought we were the only ones who had to put up with questions like: "What's it like to live in an Igloo?" or "Where did y'all park yer dog sleds?"

I'm happy to know our neighbours in the northern states have to deal with it too!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

"Mainiacs" are wicked awesome!!!

LOVE the Moose cake!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Can't wait to see Seattle! It was cool meeting you, and we had a great time hearing you talk about these wrecks in person. Thanks for inspiring such fun!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

Hooray! Never knew you were from Maine!! I currently live elsewhere (Northern VA), but I'm a true Mainiac, not just because I was born there, but because both my PARENTS were born there (Mainiacs will understand). Awesome cakes-- but as the daughter of a botanist, I can tell you, it's not just the pine cone that is the flower, it is also the tassel which goes with it--that's where the pollen is. Yes, it is technically a flower!! Though you certainly wouldn't know it from that cake!!

Thanks for all you guys do on CW!!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFrauDrK

The last lobster cake has a label on the box that says "Traditional". Is the making of such awful things one of these scary American traditions we hear so much about in Yarrup, like wearing racoon-skin caps, decimating the indigenous wildlife and human populations and then posting messages saying "Other countries' traditions are.... scary" when confronted with a cake made to resemble Zwarte Piet?

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCapability Bowes

i just moved from maine. it's warmer than alaska, but yeah it snows from september to june. i love the lobster with red bones sticking outta its sides!!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The moose reminds me of a friend of mine who accidentally hit one while serving in the the armed forces in Alaska. The moose was unhurt but left, um, several presents on the windshield out of sheer fright! This cake looks like it represents one that didn't make it...Nothing says "Happy Birthday" like roadkill!

And hey, I have used 'wicked' in conversation, and I'm not from Maine =D

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

Boy Capability,
You do come out swinging don't you? And are you really still upset over the Zwarte post? Wow... Yarupeans have thin skin. Btw, where is Yarup? ;}
john

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

I love the moose! The antlers need help, but he's so fuzzy and cute looking. We like them up here too . . . in Alaska.

Anothah Maine-ah heyah, though I'm technically 'From away'. Love the Maine cakes - wicked cool, though I didn't see any with jimmies on them. The lobstah ones are cunnin'!
Because of my love for the state, I do a weekly post titled Why I Love ME and I'm finding out lots of people love ME! They really love ME!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDeb

My son saw the third picture and thought that it was a red cactus.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

Wicked Cool!! I'm a Mainah born and raised. I left the state for a grand total of three months then came runnin' back home. Everyone makes fun of my accent at work (they're all from-awayahs!) but I just smile and say "Ayuh."

I LOVE the moose cake! My oldest son's nickname is moose because he's so big. That would be perfect for his next birthday! lol

Too bad you didn't find a cake celebrating the funnest part of livin' in Maine. Mud Season!!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKachine

Oh Cake Wrecks- taking on home sweet home! Best way to wind down my Monday. Again, I would like to add to the comments noting you Ann-Marie made no claim to being Maine being "northernmost." Back off, people! We're only claiming to have the suckiest state flower, and tastiest underwater arthropod. Thinking of Maine-inspired cakes, and the show of native pride in the comments section, I would love to see a cake based the the old "a cat can have kittens in the oven, but that doesn't make 'em biscuits" saying...

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRose

Well hello there, fellow Mainiac! Technically, I'm not 'from' Maine, but all my maternal family has lived there since, probably, it was part of Mass. I was just there last month, as I have been every summer for my entire life. We have a camp - not a tennis camp, not a golf camp, not a 'cottage' - but just a CAMP, waaaay above Bangor. Up in The County. We put out the wharf every summer, we park our cars in the dooryard and we drink pop. We also eat beanhole beans, smelt and beans and new potatoes in cream. I would like to say I eat red hot dogs but I can't stand 'em!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

Amanda! If you happen to come back to read the posts - we do our grocery shopping in Houlton while we're at camp. The Elm Tree is a long standing *MUST* every year.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterholly

Mr Capability - While I am not proud of the white peoples' role in treatment of Native Americans in this country, let us not forget that they were Europeans first, some only a generation or so (or not) from the Old Country.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'll tell you why some people in Maine may want a moose cake. If you have survived hitting one with your car in the great state of Maine, then you're darn right you deserve a cake! I totalled my car hitting one in Lewiston. Didn't get a cake though. Just a few cuts and bruises.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEx-Mainer

Nothing says "birthday"
like licorice posing as
Rubbery moose lips.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

We aren't the northernmost state, but we DO get the sun first. That's got to count for something, right?

It's nice to see my state featured. You missed the Adirondack Trail, red tide, potatoes, and flannel!

Next time?

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjj

Yes, lobster are bugs. Their closest relatives are cockroaches.

I can't stand them and don't mind pointing out that little bit of trivia anytime someone asks.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Born and bred Maine-ah here. Well some of us do have to use flashlights and jackets to use the bathroom at night. At least when we're up-ta camp. Then it's wicked cold and dark at night. And it only snows from Nov till April. We just don't get spring, we have summer, fall, winter and mud season here.
As for the bugs, real Maine-ah's know it's the black flies that cause all the trouble. Yeah we have mosquitos, but the black flies will carry you away.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeckie

I never knew there were so many mainers that read this blog!

I am a mainer as well, I live in the middle of lobsterville USA. You should hear these people talk, its insane. I only use wicked every other sentence. these guys use "guy" "wicked" and every other stereotypical maine slang word every five seconds.

Also, I can get lobster for about 4 bucks a pound, just sayin'.
Booyah

September 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersupersonic-gabi

Luv the moose...

September 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarolinaGirl

A LOBSTER is your state BUG? A lobster is a bug? Really????

September 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSixxlet

Your commentary is the best. THE BEST, I SAY.

September 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteramy kelinda

Is that moose cake made of actual foodstuffs? The antlers look like Naugahyde and the fur looks, er, furry.

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@ yatski and jackie31337:

nice to see I'm not the only one spotting the similarity between finnish k├Ąpykakku and the pine cone cake here. But I am surprised to find out how many of you think the pine cone cake as something strange. ah well, maybe it's the cultural differences since it's not an abnormality amongst cakes here in Finland - and it's pretty tasty too! :)

September 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

hahaha wow, I saw the title, and was like Oh, look'a theah! she's frum roun'heah. I'm tellin you.

Wonderful little Maine Post! not enough mention of snow, but awesome none the less!

October 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrittany

I enjoyed reading this as I am a relatively new Mainer!

But, I'm not sure why everyone felt the need to correct you and say that Maine actually isn't the northern-most state. You never claimed it was--you only claimed to live waaaaay up North, and I think that's what most people consider Maine to be.

Anyway, I just thought I'd back you up since you never made the claim:)

November 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

these are fantastically hillarious! my family's from Maine, Kittery to be exact, its beautiful up there. I long for the days of $2/lb Lobster, instead of the ridiculous rates we get here in Texas. There needs to be (at least on here) a salt water taffy/York Beach themed cake.

November 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGina

I have just gone and ordered the lovely lobster cake for my daughter's 15th birthday. She saw it and thought it was the most random cake she had ever seen, and insisted that it be her birthday cake.

January 15, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnasatan

Ah, pine cone cake! Here I was, thinking 'moldy artichoke', except the bracts are pointing the wrong way.

Garnish with pine nuts and serve it up with some chocolate bark and a cheese log. Mustn't forget maple fudge. Wash it all down with some branch water, perhaps? Tree-mendous.

This would be good for a beech party.

I'd throw in some more arboreal puns, but wooden you know, I'm stumped.

wv: exant. A good ant is an exant.

August 14, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Maine is actually quite warm for the vast majority of the year.

August 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nothing says, "traditional" like a lobster cake. Notice the sticker.

August 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maine isn't way up north. And it isn't all thart cold either.

September 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My mom's fam is from Maine - spent many a cool summer at Old Orchard Beach. Props to the "You can't get there from he-ah" title! Wicked awesome post all around.
- Sara

September 24, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterthewritingspider

I love the moose. The antlers need help, Fuzzy and cute looking. Mint! ;) xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

Hey! I am from the easternmost point of the US (Lubec, ME, not Eastport, contrary to popular believe) and these are funny! Terrible but funny. It is beautiful here and most of the downeasters have the accent, I don't but I do say wicked, a lot :)
-Briana

December 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBriana McF

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