My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Don't Mansion It

Welcome, foolish mortals, to the haunted mansion. I am your host.

And....I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie,
No other specter can deny,
When a ghoul walks in...

Hm? Oh. (Ahem.) Sorry.

Our tour begins here, in this bowling alley.

As you can see, we have pins and needles to spare. (Muah-ha-haa! Puns killed me.)

Ah, but your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding - almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis:

Are these ghosts actually stretching?

Or have they been run over?

Also, what's the deal with this guy?

And consider this dismaying observation:

Strong spirits are a leading cause of gingivitis.

(Look it up.)

We have 999 happy haunts here, but there's room for a thousand.

Any volun...

David, I'm trying to spiel here. Do you mind?

"Is this real life?"

No, David, this is real death. Run along, now.

My apologies.

As I was saying, we find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat. Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running Chills!

The Chills are our resident track team.

Now, as they say, "look alive," and we'll conclude our little tour.

Not that alive.

Oh, and before you go, there's a little matter I forgot to mention:

BEWARE...of shop-lifting ghosts!

"QUICK! Mall security is coming!"

Sunny R., Ticara G., Kartrina R., Jill M., Janet, Annette D., Brady, Jenna A., H.M., & Heidi Y., your ghosts will haunt you until you return...all that stuff they took.

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Reader Comments (86)

LOL toooooo funny!!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterConnie Moreno

ghost sperm??? muahahahahaha

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

heehee! i love that sir mix-a-lot song!!! so I LOL-ed so hard on the first ghost. that is a HUGE ghost butt!!!

also the last ghost -- WRAPPED candy on the cake? doesn't seem very foodsafe! :)

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterlyndsay

Always did like the Haunted Mansion as Disney.

But, OMG, Cake #1 just killed me. Do ghosts do it doggy style? Sperm ghosts?

Can't afford to get to Disney this year (or last), so guess I'll pop in the E.Murphy Haunted Mansion movie tonight.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterchaitea

Hmm, no "everyone knows that the Haunted Mansion is actually called..." admonishments. What is the EPCOT warning status -- grey?

I have the Haunted Mansion story on vinyl disc, so I hear the captions in Pete Reneday's voice.

#1 I too immediately thought of DQ. If they made a serving that size, I would definitely buy it -- it is worth the brain freeze!

All except #1 and #8 are CCC's -- Spooy! I second @Robin's motion to ban them.

#9 Since little guys don't have eyes, I see tadpoles. Brightly colored tadpoles -- a halloween tradition since 2010. What -- I suppose sperm makes more sense?

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

This makes me sad. I just saw a cake that I decorated on this post. Man, this really sucks. My whole life's ambition is to be the best cake decorator ever. I think it's on this site because you're making fun of me. Wow, my ma and pa tell me I'm the best frosting artist they've ever seen. I think you're just jealous of me.

Just kidding. A little Halloween humor for you. New to your blog. And I LOOOOOOVE it. =)

Sperm cake = Happy HalloWEENIE!?! no? =)

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

was that an eyeball in that cluster of candy?

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertiny purple elephant

The ghosts on that second-to-last creation are the spirits of the poor little fellas that wound up in a condom.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

WV - Ablegie: There's nothing ablegier than a semen cake.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Hmm, the first thing I thought of wasn't ghost sperm but of the "alien souls" as rendered by South Park's artists during the Scientology spoof.

wv: supente Don't keep me in supentes! Tell us how these wrecks happened!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Very funny

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a Disney pass holder and frequent Haunted Mansion rider, I loved the Haunted Mansion homage. I enjoyed reading the text imagining it in the ghost host's voice.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOLed over your caption on the first one.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

I have to be honest. I hate the Haunted anything. Last time I went to a haunted corn maze, I went into labor.
I know what you're thinking- bad idea to go to a haunted corn maze whilst knocked up. I agree. In my defense, I thought I was a lot braver than I was. Apparently, all the training the Army can give me is no match for some crazy dude running after my prego self with a chainsaw and being fully aware I can't run, see, stop urinating or crying.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissNay


A Haunted Mansion *AND* David After Dentist in the same post.


I think I love you!!

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterstaxia

Awesome ~ they look like they were a lot of fun to make up. My personal fav was the shoplifting ghost. Thanks for sharing.

October 30, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~mel

I love the last one - with the little 'dump' of tootsie rolls and gummy worms; there isn't even a pretension of creativity there.

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

so yummy...I want it..

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDodi Permana

LOL! Love the HM commentary. That first one looks like a cat!!

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haunted Mansion FTW!

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterintroducingyael

Love 'em! # 4, the Popcorn Ghost!

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Excellent use of the Haunted Mansion monologue! Your first ghost made me literally lol.

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Nice Pictures,

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

The Haunted Mansion is my favorite Disney ride (when we went to Disneyland Paris, I made my husband ride it three times with me)! I think I just about died (pun intended) laughing at your "beware of shoplifting ghosts" line.

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Radkes

What disease does that speckled ghost have???

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTara

I agree with everyone, the Haunted Mansion definitely made the post :) I worked at Walt Disney World on the college program for 9 months and an in-joke between me and my best friend was speaking as the Ghost Host. It definitely made the cakes that much funnier!

Also, it just makes me smile when you do references to the World :) I miss it everyday.

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Trying hard NOT to imagine what the other side of the "Junk in theTrunk" ghost cake...

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Now I have that Sir Mix-A-Lot song stuck in my head...thanks a lot!

As a fellow Disneyphile, I loved the Haunted Mansion lines! There's no turning back now...Mwahahaha!

October 31, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Love it! I actually spent Halloween *at* Disneyland this year, and while I miss the traditional Mansion spiel, the whole experience was very, very awesome. This was a perfect post to return to after our trip. I especially love the "are these ghosts actually stretching" bit. ;)


November 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I'm totally amused that another wreckporter found the same CCC I did and also submitted it. What I want to know is if we found it at the same store or if there was more than one of these shoplifting ghost abominations.

November 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess

Is it bad that I can actually HEAR the HM voice when I read this????


November 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Ok, so. Yes, I'm *mumbling*nearlyamonthlatereplyinghere*COUGH!* but, I was back-tracking through some missed posts... and this one is definitely one of my all-time fav CW posts!!

LOVE the HM theme and I actually snorted aloud at the David interruption ;D

You guys ROCK. \m/\m/

November 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTNTina

The Haunted Mansion is one of my favorite things ever. This is awesome!

January 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

They misplaced the head on the first.

October 30, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPiFan

Probably the BEST and the most hilarious post in your page oh lord i'm crying for laughing thank you so much greetings from Venezuela babe Keep Going.

December 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaire

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