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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Mar292011

In Moderation

Each day here on Cake Wrecks, we get literally tens of comments. Some days, if the post is particularly funny (read: offensive) we get even more. And, most of the time, these comments fall into one of several categories. Let's take a look, shall we?

Good commenters
--------------------------------------
The Enthusiast:

"BWAHAHAHAHA!!! LOVE IT!!! I literally threw up a little bit in my mouth, spit coffee all over my keyboard, and peed my pants. BEST. POST. EVAH!!!"

The Informer:

"The design on cake #2 is actually a perfect reproduction of the ficus remidius leaf found in Northern Kentucky between the months of June and August in a little patch of forest near Lake Onomakahatitikaka.

"Nice post, though."

The Optimist:

"At least the writing is pretty! And the balloons don't look like sperm!"

The Storyteller:

"Great post! It reminds me of this trip I took to Prague in 1982 with my cousin's roommate and Charlie Sheen. It was the dead of winter, I had a sombrero and a waffle iron and only four bullets left in my clip, and...well, to make a long story short, I still don't know what happened to that hooker's pet monkey."

Bad commenters
---------------------------------------

The Name Builder:

"Mike Johnson thinks this cake is terrible. Mike Johnson can't believe it. Mike Johnson wouldn't eat that cake if someone gave it to Mike Johnson for Mike Johnson's birthday! Mike Johnson Mike Johnson Mike Johnson Mike Johnson"

The Newbie:

"Um, I'm pretty sure that's "Epcot" from Disney (you can tell by the Disney font), and I don't see ANY daisies. Plus, what's the deal with those babies sitting on carrots? Looks a bit off, if you ask me."

The Spammer:

"Thank you for the information! Very informative! Free Viagra! Free Nikes! Buy Pharmacy Meds Cheap! Jessica Alba Nude!"

Thanks to Ticia, Darla D., Kelli P., Lauren H., Amanda J., Drew C., & Melissa K., who will now all be leaving wholly original comments about Charlie Sheen's new pet monkey.

« Babel Fish Needed | Main | Tonight at the Lucky Stardust Lounge »

Reader Comments (135)

So that's why Sheen has been in the news so much latley...

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather D.

[blink blink]

{blank stare}

Well now I'm afraid to comment.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBakeshow

I've been all of these, except the Spammer and the Name Builder. I guess I have not head for business.

There's also the Too-Much-Information-Giver:
"Yet another morning it's good I peed before reading Cake Wrecks."

And the Person Who Disagrees With the Concept of 'Cake Wrecks':
"I think that Blastulated Craphound is adorable. Besides, could you do it better? I'm sure they did the best they could, and the little bumblebee on the Craphound's anus is too cute for words."

"What's wrong with an epcot with swastikas on it? It's an ancient mystical symbol of good luck."

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Haha! Love it!!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

There is also the Person For Whom No Cake Is A Wreck:
"Sandra Lee has such wonderful ideas for delicious and beautiful cakes. I'd like to eat all of them."

Then, of course, there's the Sarcastic Mean Person (insert picture of me).

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

ahaha, I don't fall into any of those categories. *looks around* what?

Plus, those cakes are just awful. lol

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary

Some days I think you poke the sleeping bear just to know you're alive...

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLet Them Eat Cake

I agree with those who mentioned the "epic flounce" commenters. Those are always good for a laugh.

Oddly enough most of the readers of a HUMOR blog have enough of a sense of humor that when the subject is our comments, we are capable of laughing at ourselves (along with the funny cakes)!

Keep it up, your site is one of my favorites, and my kids' favorites as well. I've trained them well, they now peek into the grocery store display case every week and see how many cake wrecks they can spot.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKittyKat

I think I know who "Mike Johnson" is...

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGoueznou

fun-neeeee!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPattyMadeIt

I feel properly chastised.
But I really do like "The Storyteller" cake. It looks like a preschool macaroni and glitter art project.
Soooo pretty.

wv: egasto-The decorator's leaving egasto go get some more gold spray paint to finish that cake.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I was worried some of the "enthusiasts" might be offended but it seems safe ;-}
I don't WANT to know my catagory, I just enjoy the cakes, and comments

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Valinda

What about people like me: "Trying to Sound Cool". Don't know what you'd actually call that. The Poseur?

And I'm with Fluffy Cow. I'm scared to actually leave a comment now.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSariah

The Informer is more like the Annoyer if you ask me.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBree

Okay, I confess, I'm guilty of some of the charges. But you'll never take me alive.

WV devasta
I am devasta by the accusations of making bad/boring/bitchy posts.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

I LOVE the fact that you finally acknowledge the intricacy of the comments that really aren't that bad compared to what some blogs get. It reminds me of the time that I went to the store with my grandma and we bought Mary_B's book about Mary_B. Although it might actually be a daisy, but I'm not sure because I don't know what WV means. Enough of this, I'm off to check out hot singles in my area who want to date me.

But honestly, I would rather not have any details about Charlie Sheen's monkey. Thanks.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary_B

When the informer and the story teller get together and comment on my blog, I tend to get all stabby. And don't even get me started on the link-whore.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterVancouver's Enviro Girl

There is also the Non Sequitur comment, of which I will now leave a sample:

Will Charlie Sheen's new monkey have tiger blood and Adonis DNA?

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanus

This was awesome. Equal parts "get rid of random but crappy cakes in our collection" and, I'd guess, cathartic mockery. :)

I'll join the others that are amazed that you chose not to mock the permanently offended! KittyKat's term "epic flounce" was pretty great. I like how they hold their readership over your head. "I can't believe you said that Charlie Sheen was Canadian and that King Cakes were named after him! I will never, ever read your blog again, and I will also stop speaking to anyone I know who is named either 'John' or 'Jen' because that is how offended I am."

Then again, maybe you know that all the cranky people have already vowed to never again type "cakewrecks" into Google again, so you know they won't read it anyway. :)

--kate

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What about the "Easily Offended"?

I am slightly offended you didn't post about THOSE people... sheesh!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I am still contemplating the fact that not one but two people have anonymously taken offense at this post, of all posts (@10:30, @11:38). They are kidding, right? It's some kind of meta-humor?

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

Sometimes I open the blog just to read the comments! Love the categories, not so fond of that last cake. Neon pink - reminds me of the 80's and is so bright, "I gotta wear shades."

WV: psersac (first s silent)
I would like one wreck psersac and thrown in the garbage!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTxLadyBaker

Brilliant taxonomy of blog posters. The same types crop up on every blog I've followed.

If we can't laugh at ourselves, we shouldn't be laughing at the wrecks!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdustilies

Thanks for the laughs!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

<---- Enthusiast

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Oh, I am so, so, so glad that all my methods of commenting fall into the "good comments" category!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

ditto

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNahhh

Hot pink and emerald green!!!..My wedding colors!!! ...oh..wait...forgot, I got hitched at the court house...with someone in an orange jumpsuit waiting in the benches for THEIR turn with the judge...lol

Love the post :)

wv-culam :You just have to culam as you seeum.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterApril

LOL you forgot the complainer!

You know..."OMG Jen you call this a post? Ugh I can fart better posts than this!!!! I cant believe you call yourself a blogger!!"

I on the other hand LOVE it!!! Have a great day!

Kim

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe someday I will get tens of comments. You know, when I start actually writing more often than twice a year.

Wondering which categories I usually fall into?

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristine

Yes, please add the Always Personally Offended, Passive Aggressive, and/or Hypocrital commenter!

"Excuse me, when I am try to take a break from working and check out a "HUMOR" blog, I don't expect to see you poking fun a fine version of the flag that represents the 29th anniversary of when Queen Elizabeth II gave Royal Assent to the Canada Act 1982 (cake #5). Really? What could possibly be funny about Queen Elizabeth? Or Canada? Frankly I'm really suprised someone with such a following has no respect for this glorious holiday and the pastries that celebrate it! I guess I'll be finding a new humor blog that takes things a little more seriously. Thanks."

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMeggie

That Charlie Sheen scenario actually sounds a bit (a little bit) like the movie In Bruges with Colin Ferrell and Brendan Gleeson (Mad-Eye Moody). Great movie!!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKelly H

OMG, I'm a cross between the name builder and the storyteller! My husband and I write a steampunk cyberserial and we're writing a post that's just like the storyteller. I'm laughing at myself!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSparky McTrowell

HAAAA LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRach

Wouldn't it be ironic if there was an EPCOT today? At least we didn't lose too many to offense...

Yes, I too enjoy being updated on people's bodily functions as they are reading. (I kid the enthusiasts.)

I don't know about ficuses (fici?) but the second one would be perfect for a girl named Fern.

Poor 'Gary'. The wreckerator should be using an assumed name.

Teacher's gonna be mad about the fourth one -- Charlie Sheen used all the construction paper to make it that thick! (I'm presuming the CS embargo has been lifted...)

I'm sure that guy from Ace of Cakes would agree that #5 is upside down. If only it had pineapple slices on it...

I don't get the joke on the next one. Sure, there's a carrot, but there's no baby on it (not sure what *that* whole thing is about, either). What's that whole 'wv' thing? I came here looking for factual information about cakes, geography and traditions and I have to say, it's really lacking.

Why do I think that if the lights were off, the last cake would still be visible.

Well, gotta run -- there's this foreign diplomat who needs to get his inheritance out of his country, and only some random American he has never met can help.

Best wishes,

Rick Astley

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Thanks for making me laugh every day!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOnlyAverageMom

Now you're going to have us sitting around thinking of new categories to post with...

Beats doing real work!

Can I be like a bad Ebay reviewer?

Great Post, the wrecks were exactly as described. WOULD READ AGAIN A+++++++++++++++++++!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

I think I fall into the "threw up in my mouth. spilt coffee on my keyboard, and peed my pants" category.

Thanks for the AAWWEESSOOMMEE post!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

I'm afraid I'm an Informer.

Will you ever forgive me?

WV: stessew - the wild stessew is a native of. . .aw, forget it!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKate Halleron

I'm another who should be afraid to comment (no comment on which category/categories I am) but am doing so anyway.

Another category of blog commentators I fortunately don't see too often at Cake Wrecks is the Crusader, who takes any opportunity to take over the comment section on a post that ever so obliquely mentions something they can somehow relate to their Big Cause, and the more controversial the better. (You know, the person who sees the Naked Baby Carrot cake as an in for, say, advocating for a political party who supports carrot farmer subsidies.)

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnne-with-an-e

I'm usually fall more into the first category but I'd love to be the spammer! they look like they have way more fun!

The informers can be boring and annoying but they have good info and that is a good thing. ;)

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterleannwoo

I actually kinda like the last one. I know the color combo is awful (especially the pink...) but if you just look at it, it's rather striking.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh EB has one more thing to say (and is too lazy to inset html links again): the writing on that "God Luck" cake is so good it has me (EB) "mesmerized" it's 95% good and 5% wrecked.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterE.B.

PLEASE explain the "Mike Johnson" think. I've been reading for years and am still baffled. Many thanks.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I love the links in those posts.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBookwyrme

I have to agree with Heidi at 10:02...I was watching for the "Person Who Needs to Write Their Own Blog and Stop Re-Writing the Entire Cake Wrecks Post" but Heidi summed it up much more neatly :)

Heidi said...
Oh boy, you forgot The Analyzer. Nothing quite like reading through 12 inches of cake-by-cake self interpretation. This could probably also be called The Ego.

I find myself wishing for a "like" button so I can more easily (read: lazily) let other commenters know I agree with them!

WV: tarder
I took the tarder way this time and just typed out my own comment.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLindz

NICE! This blog makes me laugh every day. Thanks! :)

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaleena

Love this post! Laughed so hard. You totally nailed the categories and I hope you'll add some more in the future.

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBlalock

I agree with that last anonymous and all the other people confused: I've been reading this blog for two years and I do not understand the Mike Johnson reference! Enlighten us!

March 29, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChocolatier

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