Ode to Carrot Jockey
by Loyal Minion Sharyn
Carrot Jockey, is your taxonomic nomenclature
A plastic unclothed biped, on buttercream by nature?
No hair about your eyes to cloud your keen visual senses
Contributes to your skill in finding wrecky cake offenses.
I find myself intrigued by your frosted ambulations,
A singular development of fondant machinations
That illustrates your need to ride on sugary confections
While pointing out a bakery's abuse of its directions.
No clothing is essential for your wreck reporting talents,
A hat, a vest or even pants might throw you off your balance.
And carrots are a necessary part of locomotion
Although for geeky panelists they can cause a commotion.
Carrot Jockey, the wondrous cakey carnage you display
Makes people snort their coffee, and brightens up their day.
A naked bit of plastic I can from a chain suspend
To me, you'll always be a veggie-riding friend.
A huge "Thak You" to Sharyn for writing the world's best comment poem, and also to Theresa B., Jennifer C., Carmel C., Angela M., Julie K., Noelle, Maggie H., Caroline T., Colleen T., & Martha A. for all the Carrot Jockey homages.
Also, if by some crime you're not familiar with the original poem/rap Sharyn's is based on, watch this:
And finally, because it's a FAQ: the jockey necklaces are no longer available for sale because they're a right pain to make. However, if you continue to pester us - say, by leaving demanding comments on this post - I might be able to convince John that we should make one big final batch before the holidays. Maybe. If you beg. And I'm not talking just a few extra exclamation marks here; I'm talking complete loss of dignity, people. Dance! Dance for our amusement! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Or just ask nicely. That might work, too.
(Note from john: *sigh* Fine. But let me explain something: it takes HOURS. Rolling each individual carrot, carving each individual leaf, trying to center the baby so that it balances, baking them, clear coating them, gluing the baby down, gluing the post and hanging it on the chain. And then, THEN! If it doesn't balance and it hangs funny, we start over because Jen won't let an imperfect one leave the house. *harumph* So, we're going to make 3 for each tour stop as prizes and maybe a hundred more. If anyone needs me for the next few days, I'll just be over here kneading clay...)