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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Sep102011

Ode to Carrot Jockey

Ode to Carrot Jockey

by Loyal Minion Sharyn

 

Carrot Jockey, is your taxonomic nomenclature

A plastic unclothed biped, on buttercream by nature?

No hair about your eyes to cloud your keen visual senses

Contributes to your skill in finding wrecky cake offenses.

I find myself intrigued by your frosted ambulations,

A singular development of fondant machinations

That illustrates your need to ride on sugary confections

While pointing out a bakery's abuse of its directions.


No clothing is essential for your wreck reporting talents,

A hat, a vest or even pants might throw you off your balance.

And carrots are a necessary part of locomotion

Although for geeky panelists they can cause a commotion.

Carrot Jockey, the wondrous cakey carnage you display

Makes people snort their coffee, and brightens up their day.

A naked bit of plastic I can from a chain suspend

 

To me, you'll always be a veggie-riding friend.

 

A huge "Thak You" to Sharyn for writing the world's best comment poem, and also to Theresa B., Jennifer C., Carmel C., Angela M., Julie K., Noelle, Maggie H., Caroline T., Colleen T., & Martha A. for all the Carrot Jockey homages.

Also, if by some crime you're not familiar with the original poem/rap Sharyn's is based on, watch this:

 

And finally, because it's a FAQ: the jockey necklaces are no longer available for sale because they're a right pain to make. However, if you continue to pester us - say, by leaving demanding comments on this post - I might be able to convince John that we should make one big final batch before the holidays. Maybe. If you beg. And I'm not talking just a few extra exclamation marks here; I'm talking complete loss of dignity, people. Dance! Dance for our amusement! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Or just ask nicely. That might work, too.

(Note from john: *sigh* Fine. But let me explain something: it takes HOURS. Rolling each individual carrot, carving each individual leaf, trying to center the baby so that it balances, baking them, clear coating them, gluing the baby down, gluing the post and hanging it on the chain.  And then, THEN!  If it doesn't balance and it hangs funny, we start over because Jen won't let an imperfect one leave the house.  *harumph*  So, we're going to make 3 for each tour stop as prizes and maybe a hundred more.  If anyone needs me for the next few days, I'll just be over here kneading clay...)

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Reader Comments (155)

@Vicky -- http://cakewrecks.squarespace.com/home/2008/6/22/naked-mohawk-baby-carrot-jockeys.html It's a Cake Wreck "classic" that has taken on a life of its own!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

MAKE MORE NECKLACES, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

September 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterYouthpastornoel

I had a necklace. It was wonderful. My boss saw it. My boss found it wonderful. As my boss was having a horrible, awful, no good, bad day (to put it nicely), I brightened her mood and gave away my naked mohawk baby riding a carrot necklace.

But now I need another one!

October 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterI need one!!!!

You win so many internets, i recognized this as a parody of data's Ode to Spot the moment i started reading it!

October 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterblokeice

MAN WHEN I SAW THAT NECKLACE I JUST KNEW I NEEDED IT LIKE DUDE SERIOUSLY IM NEW TO CAKEWRECKS AND I KNOW THIS IS LATE BUT OH MY GOSH????? THATS THE MOST PERFECT THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. I AM ON A QUEST OF GOIGN THROUGH ALL 800+ PAGES OF YOUR BLOG IM CURRENTLY ON PAGE 220 AND IN HIGH SPIRITS PLEASE MAKE MORE NECKLACES IM SCREAMING AT YOU I WOUDL DO ANYTHING LOOK AT ME IM DANCING!!!!! IM DANCING IN A BIG PILE OF CAKES I MADE JUST FOR YOU HOW CAN YOU SAY NO IM A 15 YEAR OLD GIRL I HAVE FRIENDS TO MAKE AND IMPRESS WITH MY COOL STYLE AND THAT LITTLE FELLA WOULD GET ME ALL THE GUYS AND GALS IN TIOWN PEACE XOXO KIKI

January 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKIKI THE SHIKI

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