"Takes Direction Well"
November 2, 2012 Ever feel like you've lost your direction in life?
Do you find yourself wandering aimlessly through bakery aisles and back alley icing parlors*?
* I don't actually know if back alley icing parlors exist, but a girl can dream.
Are you stuck in the hangar bay of life, waiting for the pod bay doors of opportunity to open up and spit you out into the sucking black void of PURPOSE?
If the answer is yes, maybe, or "huh?", then have I got the job for you!
;)
That's right, my friends, the time has never been riper to be a Wreckerator! Or a person who likes to mix metaphors badly, like a withered, overripe tree in space.
But let's focus on the wrecking thing for now, shall we?
;)
We're looking for a few good pairs of hands (preferably attached to still-functioning torsos) that can follow directions TO THE LETTER.
And by "we" I mean "me."
And if you see something grammatically wrong with that statement, then I'm afraid you're already disqualified. Kindly collect your complimentary "Prefessional Baker" buttons at the door and show yourselves out.
Now, for the rest of you, just LOOK at all the exciting things your future could have in store!
;)
The glamor! The excitement! The satisfaction of giving a customer EXACTLY what they ask for!
But the REAL cherry on top? Someday you, too, could write, "cherry on top" on one of your orders!
;)
Consider this something to work toward.
Now, who here failed Biology?
Ah, excellent!
Because next up: baby shower cakes.
;)
Thanks to Inge D., Stephanie S., Emily S., Stephanie H., & Sargam M. for being the wind beneath my leaves. Except there's no wind...IN SPACE.
Reader Comments (64)
Thanks to this site I now associate the word "sperm" with the word "cake", but the third pic conjured up visions of albino earthworms struggling to inflate party balloons.
WTH with that last one? It looks like twin fetus ghosts! I'm surprised it doesn't say "sorry about your double miscarriage in blue" or "good luck with your D&C with stars around it."
@Sharyn: I'm just trying not to get ina pickle...and...spp...
@lisadh, Norine, TLC, Jodee in WA, and millbrit: thank you...
@drgns4vr: very good! (I've bean at it for years and I never turnip an opportunity for a pun....)
@Degera: thanks...if you're ever in western Illinois, I'll take you up on that -- monitor caveat noted!
Jen, you really do an Almond Joy binge proud with this post! Simply awesome. P.S. If we ever meet in any back alley icing parlors then we must carefully avoid acknowledging each other and never.speak.of.it.
Yay, Sharyn, you finally picked a song I already hate (actually, a song by a band I hate and so the song by association). See below for your next challenger, should you decide to accept it (hums "Mission Impossible" theme song)
mel, dearest, we are pushing toward leaving the realm of "non-stalky" kind of love. le sigh I was drawn in like a carrot to a grater, lemon to a zester and potato to a slicer.
your tales have such a peel.
Merry, that is one of my very favorite novelty songs ever and now I double dog dare Sharyn to find a post worthy of the "Streak" treatment!!
I think that it's very irresponsible of you to encourage naive, hopeful people to wander back alleys in search of icing parlours.
We could be in mortal danger from alien-fetus creatures lurking in unsuspecting places.
I can never unsee that last cake... Ever. Never, ever. Never, ever, ever, ever... O.O
Just when I think that cakes can't get any "wreckier..."
Sharyn, you are awesome!
Barbara Anne -- That is a freakin' brilliant idea! Darn, I was going to clean my house this weekend, but now I have a challenge...
omg!!! i finally figured out what the fetus cake says!! its supposed to say happy birthday!!!
@KarateLady: hahahha....thanks....
@Barbara Anne: you make me smile and laugh....thank you....I'm glad you find my tales have a peel..but now I'll make like a banana and split.....
Sharyn, I'm so glad I could be of help. Housework is bad for your health. I saw it on the web so you know it's true.
mel, orange you glad I didn't add another pun? ;)
Leave off, or I'll be rooted to the spot anticipating the next pun to turnip.
The the fetus cake read "Pizzrthday?" I realize that isn't the scariest thing on that cake...but...pizzrthday? Really?
Jen, have I told you that the first thing I did upon picking up "Wreck The Halls" was to peel off the sticker hiding my very favorite part of the book? Sometimes it's hard to put into words how much I adore you, my favorite prefessional blogger.
Happy Winchester Wednesday, BTW. I might need cake tonight to muffle my excited screaming.