My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Seeing Double

Sometimes, when ordering a cake, you have to play Pictionary with your baker. Except instead of just telling them what to draw, you show them a picture. And instead of actually drawing anything, they make a cake. So really it's nothing like Pictionary. WORK WITH ME HERE I'M NOT SO GOOD AT ANALOGIES.

For example, Kelly and Paul wanted a cake of Winnie-the-Pooh, so they brought in this:


 And got...this:

Say, is that a squished spider on your face, or does your baker really think bears have whiskers? 

I mean, it's like a Goldfish Cracker donned a Groucho Marx disguise, and then sprouted nubby little arms and legs, right? It's EXACTLY LIKE THAT, right?


Amanda S. works for the Cirque du Soleil show Varekai, and for the show's tenth anniversary they wanted a cake that looks like the show's circus tent exterior:

 But instead, they got something like HR Giger would design if he designed Moon Boots:


  Really ugly, non-functional Moon Boots. That can kill you. With their pointy, pointy spiny things. Yeah. Like that.


And finally, Brittany M. didn't actually order this next cake, so I had John whip up a handy graphical approximation of what we *think* the baker was aiming for:


 This is some kind of sports thing, right? Or maybe a zoo decal? 



Well, whatever it is, I think it's safe to say that the baker took license with that logo in the same way a crazy artistic type person takes license with something traditional that we all love and don't want messed with. Which is to say a LOT.

Oh! I know! Like that one awful version of Jingle Bells! (No, not that one - THAT one.) Yeah. Like THAT.

So, yeah. it's bad.



OH, I'm sorry. Did you want to see the cake now?



Poor lil' kitty. I bet the LSU folks are as mad right now as cats when I try to clip their claws. 

The cats' claws, I mean, not the LSU people's. Hopefully they don't even HAVE claws. 

The LSU people, I mean, not the oh never mind.


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Reader Comments (72)

Silver tent looks just like the planetarium at the science center in my city. Except ours is gold colored. And doesn't have a crack in the top. Or spiky things on the roof. But just like it.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Well.... Hmm.... Don't really know what to say about these.

On the bright side, none of the above wreckers will have to worry about copyright infringement issues :)

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCustom Caker

Oh man... I missed you guys this weekend! Moving (with a broken foot no less!) went pretty quickly but now I have a million boxes to unpack!
I'm with you guys, what the heck are those wreckarators smokin' that makes 'em step back and say "Dang, I nailed it!"
@Sharyn ~ Cake du So Lame has me wiping tears!
@Skeptic ~ I totally watched your scenerio in my head! You win!!!

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

My reaction to the Pooh cake: What... But... What... POOH DOESN'T HAVE WHISKERS!! And where is his cute little too-small red shirt?? And the honeypot? How on EARTH can it be Pooh without the honeypot?

My reaction to the second cake: *blink blink* Um.... That's.... a circus tent? A *two-colored* circus tent? I... That's... No. No, it's really not. I don't even know what it DOES look like.

Third cake: ........... *has no words left*

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeatherS

Oui-oui, Monsieur Pooh
has zee debonair stache et
Brows de confidence.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Cake #2 looks like the old Seattle king dome.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSkysewblue

OK!! We finally have two worthy opponents for the Wreckorator National Championship! Its UK vs LSU for all the marbles, all the glory, and all the brazenly botched butttercream. Georgia has been DQ'd for a flagant fondant foul, leaving the bakery door wide open for LSU to creep in. And WOW! is that Tiger cake creepy. This epic conflict of craptacular confections is scheduled for January 1st, under the big silver dome of Le Cake du So Lame. Check your local listings.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Trish-I thought it was a shark, too! Couldn't believe it when I saw wat it was supposed to be!

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteramy

#1w: Theardare would be so proud...if he weren't laughing so hard.

#2: Looks like Ringling Bros is being fumigated.

#2w: "Ok, who got the circus tent cake? The people who were expecting the medieval helmet cake aren't going to lay siege to us or anything, are they?"

#3w: I wouldn't want to have been LSU at that game.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Gah! That LSU cake needs to be killed, with fire!

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlex K

Over the weekend I reviewed a website for a client before it went live. It took 9 hours and 23 pages of notes to point out all the errors. I thought it was a disaster.

But now, after seeing these cakes, I have learned that there is INDEED something worse than that website. Yikes!

And Jen, the first one DOES look like a Goldfish. But a sunburned one. And nothing like Pooh.

And that poor LSU tiger. Tsk, tsk, tsk. . . . .

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Maybe (hopefully), the final cake was purchased by students at a rival school to be eaten the night before the big game between them and LSU Unless that was deliberate in a "this is what their team is going to look like when we finish with them" way, Otherwise, the only explanation is that the baker was on LSD and peyote and, while waiting for the cake to cool off enough to decorate, he drank a quart of Ripple.

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Someday, I'll come back to this post and look at whatever came after the horrifying Cat Pooh. Apparently, that image is all I need to Unsee everything else. (gag)
On that far away day I will probably remember this childhood classic:

I'm looking over my dead tiger Rover
Who I overran with the mower!
One leg is mangled, the other is gone,
the third leg is scattered all over the lawn.
There's no use explaining the one remaining
It went straight through the kitchen door!
I'm looking over my dead tiger Rover
That I overran with the mower!

But until that day, I'm freaked over the Pooh. (horrified shudder)

P.S. I may be madly in love with Skeptic (in a non-stalky kind of way).

December 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I cannot believe that is what the wreckerator came up with for Winnie the Pooh. Lol I can't stop laughing and hoping at the same time that the customers didn't have to pay for any of these. Sheesh what were the wreckerators thinking that day??

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Oh. Oh, dude. Seriously, you have one of the funniest sites on the Interwebz, you always make me giggle, but for real, girl-- I LOL'd SO HARD, my scalp has cramped up. My husband woke up and checked on me, because he thought I was having a panic attack. My eyes are all sticky and my nose is boogery; tears, boogers, scalp-cramp-- THE TRIFECTA OF LOLZ!

Oh, and the second cake reminded me of that weird mine/buoy thingy that washed up in the lagoon on "Gilligan's Island". But as a cake, see.

Cheers, thanks a lot,


December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStorm

My six year old son was across the room when I scrolled down to the Whinnie the Pooh cake, and he asked, "What is THAT?" I choked back my laughter because it was so entirely appropriate, and I said, "Well, it's supposed to be Whinnie the Pooh." There was a moment of silence, and he said, "Oh, well, it's not. The cake isn't even yellow." LOL, out of the mouth of babes!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I can't still wrap my head around those top two wrecks. I can't believe that it actually happened! It doesn't even closely represented the photos. sheesh

December 6, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkikib

My 6 year old just saw the LSU cake and said, "Is that a football monster that kicked the ball so hard it made his leg fall off?" Yes, yes it is.

December 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDaya

Is it possible that they were trying to make the Cirque Du Soleil tent look like the La Nouba tent in Orlando?

December 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Ok, I'm a little late, but I have to give a shout-out to jackwire - nice one! I'll definitely tune in, as will my hubby (LSU fan). Everybody else: group hug!!!

December 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

OMG! What have they done to Mike the Tiger? GAH! My Louisiana family would hate that! How awful! Mike does NOT have purple stripes, people!

January 12, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterwendybear1

That LSU one...excactly what you want to get if you are THE OTHER TEAM. It's like one of the floats where they desecrate the other team's mascot...only scarrier....and in buttercream (or is that fondant...usually I can tell, but I'm not sure on this one).

February 25, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGale

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