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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep042009

I Think I'll Have the Salad Today...

Since the book tour is only three weeks away, John has started a new diet. I was going to join him, but then I had the following revelations:

1) At its core, humor is about being honest.
2) You guys probably expect me to be both funny and honest in person.
3) Losing weight would make me someone I'm not (ie a person who loses weight), and therefore is intrinsically DIShonest.
4) Oooh, cupcakes!

Anyhoo, so while I'm not on a diet myself, I still want to support John any way I can. Some people might try cooking him a healthy meal, or inviting him for walks. Me? I find gross cakes to help kill his appetite.

Ta Da!

I bet you're feeling thinner already, aren't you? And if not, you may find this next one "erupting" with diet inspiration:

Mmm. That's the stuff.

John's diet requires him to cut down on carbs, so I know he's going to love Barbie's meat blanket here:


Now, I realize this may have ruined pepperoni and moldy raw roast beef for most of you, but trust me: You'll thank me later.

And speaking of low-carb diets, I hear you also see a lot of these when you're on them:


Or is that only if you cheat and eat a bunch of raisins? Hm...

What's that? You want one last word of diet inspiration? Okey doke. Here goes:

[swinging pocket watch] "You are feeling sleepy. Veerrry sleepy. Now, you will never crave skinned leopard - or cake - ever agaiiin."

Madison C. & Chris V., Emily H., Meredith, Stephanie M., and Anony M., maybe there IS something to this Cake Wrecks diet plan. I totally passed up a cupcake for a candy bar just now.

- Related Wreckage: Better Dieting Through Cake

Thursday
Sep032009

Blame Decopac

These days many bakeries dream of the day when cake decorating will consist of two steps:

1) Ice the cake, and
2) sell it.

See, actually decorating a cake requires time and effort, and therefore is discouraged where possible. To help bakers achieve this lofty goal, a few enterprising companies (we're not naming any names here....except for that one in the title, of course) are manufacturing all-inclusive instant "decorating" kits.

Here's an example:


Cute, huh? As you can see, plastic is SO in right now. Not only does it save on frosting, but it also allows anyone with the skills of a semi-trained monkey to "decorate" a cake. It's foolproof! All you need is a rounded lump frosted brown, and you're good to go - just stick the plastic bits in! Who could possibly mess that up?

[sigh]

Alright, Wreckerators, now you've actually got me curious: Can you possibly make this look any worse?

Wow. I'm impressed. This looks just like the carpet adhesive we put down last Spring.

Now how about something for the cat lovers haters out there?

From this...


To this!

Taylor G., Tracy F., & Alex M., apparently there really is more than one way to skin a cat.

- Related Wreckage: Going to the Dogs