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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May262009

An Indecent Proposal

Wrecks reader Mark B. decided to propose to his girlfriend while they were on a Caribbean cruise last August. Like all good guys, he wanted to do it in a way that was both memorable and a little unique. So, after much thought, he decided to use a cake. (Told you he was a good guy.) With that settled, all that was left to do was choose the perfect words to form his request.

Well, the night before he planned to propose arrived, and Mark still hadn't decided on an inscription. As he and his girlfriend went for a walk on the beach, though, they came across the very inspiration he'd been looking for. There, written in the sand, illuminated by moonlight, was the word "dork".

Ok, so that might not seem like the most romantic of inspirations to you or me, but for Mark it was "a sign". He tells me his girlfriend was always calling him a dork at the time (with much affection, I'm sure), and so standing there that night, he knew exactly what his proposal cake should say.

Now, let's set the scene:

The meal is over, the dessert orders have been given, and Mark is sitting on pins and needles, awaiting the arrival of his proposal cake. The waiter approaches and, with a smile at Mark, places a covered tray before his unsuspecting girlfriend. Then, with a flick of the wrist, the waiter removes the lid to reveal....

this.

Huh.

Well, on the bright side, Mark, this IS quite memorable. In an incomprehensible, what-exactly-did-the-baker-think-s/he-was-writing? kind of way. Still, here's hoping your lovely lady had "many" reasons to agree to "marry" the dork in question. ;)

Monday
May252009

Mixed Grill

It's Memorial Day, and as every red-blooded American knows, there is only one nationally accepted way to demonstrate your sense of patriotic pride in the men and women who have sacrificed for this country. One which involves fire, hunks of raw meat, and at least one guy in a "kiss the chef" apron cursing out the blippity bleepin' starter switch on the filth flarnin' grill.

That's right: It's barbecue time, baby.


Is this creative? Sure. Appetizing? Not so much. It looks like a giant half-cooked hamburger with steak and shish kabab'ed Elmo fingers on it. [shudder] Great, now I gave myself the willies.

Speaking of shish kababs, here's the "cheater-cheater-plastic-eater" version:

[shaking head] Til the end of time, Wreckerators will be trying - and failing - to make circles out of cupcakes. What's the definition of insanity again?

And here's one with the oh-so-authentic chalky briquette look:

Ah, there's nothing like leprous-looking cupcakes to get the ol' saliva glands going!

Some bakeries are breaking down the two main components of the grilling experience. See, while this next one may look like a penned-in bunch of baboon butts, you can tell by the "GRILLIN'" sticker that it's actually a grill:


Huh. Thank goodness for stickers, is all I can say.

Oh, and here's the raw, malformed lump that goes on it! Yum!


Now there's some bloody good fun, eh, guv'na? Jolly good, pip pip, and all that. (Hey, I've read Wodehouse, Ok? I'm practically an expert on British terminology. Really.)

Shannon S., Amy J., Joanna C., & Nichole H., I'm suddenly inspired to find a doll on a grill, just so I can write the caption "Barbie on the barbie". Unless one of you knows a girl named Barbie? You could even turn the grill off, if you like.

UPDATE: Ask, and ye shall receive:

Barbie on the barbie!