My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Caaaakes in SPAAAACE!

Did you notice how I artfully blended "pigs in space" with a Portal 2 reference? Didya? That's professional level geekery right there. Do not try at home (without an audience).


I was up 'til 3AM yesterday morning watching the live feeds from NASA as the Curiosity rover touched down on Mars. As many have already pointed out, it's amazing to live in a time when we can get pictures from MARS in only 15 minutes, and live coverage of the Olympics from NBC in only 6 hours. [jazz hands] THE FUTURE!

 Anyway, needless to say the sight of all those brilliant people with brilliant hairdos (not joking, for once) celebrating with such joyous, nerdy abandon made me bawl like a baby. Which is to say in an ugly, squealish manner, and with just the right amount of pee leakage.

 To celebrate this momentous occasion (the Mars landing, not the pee leakage), I've invited the planet Mars 'round to comment:


Unfortunately, the planet had nothing to add other than a few highly questionable landing suggestions for Uranus. And boy is his face red.


But that's ok, because this AMAZING Mars Rover cake steals the show, anyway:


(Found here.)

 This was made back in 2009 in honor of the rover's 5th anniversary on Mars, and that's the baker, Chris Vasilakis, next to it. The Curiosity rover is much larger, of course, but as John says, "They both have six wheels and lots of technical junk on them," so that means they're practically twins

 Some details:

 "The body of the rover and the high gain antenna were all made of toffee buttercrunch cake with cinnamon buttercream between the layers.  The wheels and a few other parts were made of rice krispie treats.  Note the fondant birthday candles at the front in the instrument arm.  The red stuff at the bottom is all edible homemade mars…shmallow."


Judging by that pun, I'm pretty sure she and I would get along fabulously


And now, a cool story, bro:

 Laurie L., the wreckporter who sent in the rover cake, was actually the MC at the NASA event that hosted the now infamous phallic Space Shuttle wreck.

 You know, this one?


 She was there, you guys! An actual eye witness!

 Laurie writes,

 "Believe it or not, it was a celebration of the 25th anniversary of Sally Ride's flight as the first American Woman in Space, and Sally was there.  You can imagine how mortified I was when I arrived and saw the cake (which I had nothing to do with ordering…).  As if having a cake that said 'We've come along way' wasn't bad enough…! Anyway, as you can tell, I've still got a little PTSD going about the whole experience."

 Just remember, Laurie, there's healing through laughter. And lots and lots of dirty puns. (Is it wrong I'm still proud of that post?) (No, don't answer that; I know it is.)


 Now, stay tuned for the fabric wreck winning entries from Friday's contest! So much hilarity. And towels. And toys. And random household objects.


In Honor of the 2012 Olympic Games

Olympic fever has swept the world again, reminding us all just how rewarding perseverance, determination, and a comfy recliner can be while we're stuffing our faces in front of the television.

I also like to yell critiques at the athletes during these times, because I enjoy both the irony and the frightened look John gives me when he reminds me the TV isn't on yet.

To this I say: "P'FFAW!" (It would have been "P'SHAW," but my mouth was full.) I don't need to actually WATCH the Olympics to get in the Olympic spirit!

After all, I have this:

The Olympic Dots.


Technically those are supposed to be rings, though.

 Thank you.


You know, as off-the-mark as those two are, they're still less sad than this "correct" version:


 Feel the spirit, y'all. Woo. Go. Win. Or whatever.


At least that one got the rings in the right order, though, and isn't made out of Scrapple:

Or is it peanut brittle? 

[head tilt]

Nah, that's totally Scrapple, in my book.


I don't know if this was supposed to be an Olympic cake or not, but let's just assume it was so I can keep laughing, k?


It's that or Christmas condoms. Or maybe both? Oh, wait! I HAVE A JOKE FOR THAT: 

 "Something something pole-vaulting." 

(I'm going for the [comedy] GOLD!)


Ok, enough rings. Let's try some Olympic weights:

I especially like how the baker added that poo-like rope border for accuracy. Um... What is this supposed to be, again?

[Note: John and I just argued over whether or not the baker intentionally covered up the writing on the bottom tiers. He says yes. I say his overt optimism is pooping on my wrecky parade.]


Maybe it would help if bakers didn't have any visuals to worry about, and just stuck with words:



Right. Back to the rings, then.

HISTORY FLASH: According to Wikipedia, the repository of all knowledge that is accurate and true, (Est. 1904), the Olympic Rings were designed in 1912 by Baron Pierre de Coubertin, who stated that their colors represent "the colours of all the nations, with no exception."



After that it seems almost petty to point out that there's not supposed to be an orange ring, but what can I say? I'm out to make Tom proud.

And I won't. back. down.

Also, I'm pretty sure this wreck's days are numbered. Incorrectly.


Thanks to Marcy B.,  Julie S., Amanda M., Liz, Beth K., Charlene, Angi H., Melissa R., & Callie B. for catching Olympic fever with me. Feel better soon, guys!