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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
Sep252010

Sharks Bite

{Welcome back to your favourite prime-time brine crime drama- "Crab Cakes: Ocean Justice!" Before the commercial break, Crabtown was faced with its most terrifying nightmare yet: Someone drank all the coffee! But something more frightening is just around the corner...}

 

"Help! Someone, please help me!"

 

 

"If I move, he might see me."

 

"Yummy fish in belly time! NOM NOM NOM."

 

 

"Not on the Sheriff's watch, you great white JERK!"

 

 

"No one escapes my disturbingly mutated claws of justice!"

 

 


"Sheriff, look out! There's another one behind you!"

 

 

"Hahaha! You'll never escape us! Come here, ya' old chum!"

 

"That's IT. I'm not taking any more guff from these sharks! C'mon, Crabtown! Let's kick dorsal fin!"

"Your pitiful confidence is no match for my razor-sharp teeth... OF DEATH!"

"Oops. I crabbed my pants."

"Well, our Sheriff will show the sharks who's boss! Won't you, Sheriff? Go on. Tell them!"

"..."

"Sheriff?"

"Don't worry, guys! I have a sure-fire plan guaranteed to make those sharks leave us alone! FOREVER!

"Hey, sharkies! Say hello to my LITTLE FRIEND!" [whipping out photo]


"His name is Mr. Snuggly Buns."

 

[sniffle] "That's the saddest thing I've ever seen! Please, no more! We're leaving, I promise! C'mon, guys; I hear the west shore has some real cream puffs."

 

 

Whew! That was a close call there, but the Sheriff and Pickly Pete saved Crabtown once again! Tune in next week when we find out: Who drained the community pool? Where in the world is Crabmen Sandiego? And what happened to all the potato salad?!?

 

Rolling credits: Jacquie G., Alana G., Sara G., Meaghan I., Amy T., Michelle N., Tina A., Amy C., Jen K., Sara H., and Kati D.

Friday
Sep242010

This Calls For a Par-Tay

Birthdays and weddings? Pshaw. That's nothing. How about...

...celebrating your favorite fashion fetish?

And I love cake! We should be friends.

No, you can't borrow my yellow boots. Yes, I know they're awesome. No, sorry, you can't "just hold one for a minute." Hey, what are you...are you smelling my shoes?!? Dude, this is getting kind of uncomfortable. You know what? How 'bout you just give me my slice of cake and I'll go eat it in my cubicle?

Ok, so maybe fashion fetish cakes aren't the best idea. How about obscure lines from 60's sitcoms?

Here's a story

Of a lovely lady!

(everybody, now!)

Who was something something very lovely something!

Something something...something...

something...
.....

AND THAT'S THE WAAAAY WE BECAAAME THE BRADY BUNCH!

Alright, maybe some of us don't remember the Brady Bunch that well.

HOWEVER, who couldn't use a cake like this?

Perfect for blind dates.

(The visual is in case they happen to be illiterate. Or Canadian.)

And once the honeymoon's over, there's always this handy design to let your mate know exactly where s/he stands:

Or, in this case, sleeps.

[It says, "You're in the doghouse now!"]

It's kind of a mixed message, though, don't you think? I mean, I'm in the doghouse, but you're giving me...cake? (Granted, a vile cupcake cake - ptooie!- but still.) Hmm. Yeah, I've thought it over, and you know what? I *still* think those pants make you look fat. So THERE. And I hear there's a sale on sheet cakes today. Just thought you should know.

And speaking of repeat offenders...

If loving your favorite gun enough to celebrate it with a cake is an offense, then call me not guilty. (I prefer cannoli. Unless it's an automatic, of course; in that case, I go with the more traditional JELL-O Jigglers.)

"But, Jinn," you're thinking - because now you've confused me with a bottle-dwelling genie, or maybe that guy on LOST - "Jinn, I don't *have* a favorite gun to celebrate! Or any gun at all!"

Well, my sadly confused friend, never fear; no matter who you are, or what you're celebrating, I've found a cake that will truly go with any occasion:

It's like a one-size-fits all.

Assuming the "all" is one person, of course.

Thanks to Alison D., Becky K., Sondra D., Kasey R., Laurie R., & Mia L., Mia L., Mia L., who I believe are all Canadian. And I love them. In fact, I love Canada. I love Canadian stuff. The fact that I've chosen to make Canada my knee-jerk nemesis for this post is really just a reflection of my deep-seated love and respect for this country and its people. 'Cuz they can take a joke. And won't, for example, hunt down errant bloggers with packs of wild meese. (That IS the plural of moose, right?)