Sunday Sweets Goes Wild!

We usually have pretty sedate New Year's Eves,
but this year I've invited a bunch of

PARTY ANIMALS!!!

I think we've put together a great guest list,
to guarantee a wild party.

Let's start with Hedgie.
She thinks every party is a birthday party, so she always brings candles.

(by Leslie Vigil, California)

We don't say anything in case she gets prickly.
Plus the candle's handy if there's a power outage.

Jerry offered to come early to help hang decorations, which was so nice.

(by Pink Cake Box, New Jersey)

And his friends are just as sweet.

Of course I invited the cool cats from down the street.

(by Sugarbombe, Oregon)

They help us get into that party feline.
(ba dum tss)

And it's always wise to include Otis.

(by Elegantly Iced, New York, now closed.)

He's on my Trivial Pursuit team.
Hostess' privilege.

Toothless always brings his own hat, which saves on supply costs.

(by Sula de Oliveira, Brazil)

And he offered to do the midnight fireworks!

It turns out loud fiery things in the sky scare dinosaurs, though,
so we might stick with sparklers this year.

(by Cottontail Cake Studio, Manila)

Don't worry, they promised not to eat anyone.
(It's not covered by our Homeowner's insurance.)

Pusheen brings the best desserts, so she's a must invite.

(by Susanne Ng, Singapore)

(You guys, this is NOT a plushie. It's chiffon cake, flavored with black sesame to get the color.
I don't know whether I want to eat it or just hug it really hard.)

Lloyd here is the life of the party;
I can't tell you how many times he's snuck up on me with that noisemaker.

(by Karen Leong Cake Design, Malaysia)

He's also our designated driver.

I keep telling everyone the Butterbeer is non-alcoholic - but you can understand their concern when they start seeing pink elephants.

(by De Koekenbakkers, the Netherlands)

Hi Tina!

Ironically, Tina always drives herself home.

And finally, there's Freddy.
He's a brilliant conversationalist, and he sings beautifully.

(by Art Bakin', Slovakia)

Although, let's be honest, he really just wants someone to kiss him at midnight.

We hope you have a Sweet New Year's Eve,
and maybe keep Freddy in mind when midnight rolls around.

Happy New Year!

*****

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I Bet The Pillow Tasted Better, Too

Remember, kids, it's wrong to laugh at someone's name.

Unless it's spelled like this:

I hear he's a real gas!

(No, that's not really his name. Sorry, Dr. Goldfarb.)

(Bee tee dubs, did you know the Brits sometimes call a fart a "trouser cough?" I just felt that needed to be shared. You're welcome.)

Just another reminder that gender reveal cakes are a terrible idea:

I wonder how much awkward back-pedaling these mistakes have caused over the years. Like, that second celebratory back-flip better seem JUST AS HAPPY, mister. [glare]

Speaking of happy, a pro baker sent me this screen cap of a conversation with one of his customers, and it is, in a word, perfection:

Phew! Thank goodness she caught that.

You know how Mario Kart has Rainbow Road? Turns out Monster Jam has something similar:

Fecal Freeway!

(There's a "skid mark" joke in there SOMEWHERE, I just know it.)

This cookie cake was bare in the middle, so they asked the baker to fill in the big space with something decorative.

They got this:

Picasso, eat your heart out.

And finally, look, sometimes a baker gets really high, tries to eat a pillow, and then realizes she needs to hide the secret beer stash from the boss, ok? This could literally happen to anyone.

Really, the only mystery left is how that bottle is still full, amirite? Haha! You know, because drunks? In the bakery? Like, who are drunk while decorating? Am I being too subtle? No? OH GOOD.

Thanks to Carol B., Charmaine F., Craig B., Jill K., Stacey M., & Shari I. for helping me put the B in "subtle."

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot: