8 Hilarious Wrecks Bakers Want Us To Believe Are Football Helmets

I'll be the first to admit that a football helmet is not the easiest thing to draw:

It's all round and confusing and stuff.

BUT STILL.

But still.

Really, bakers?

REALLY??

If you had no context, tell me you wouldn't think this was a cheese grater:

And this was a happy whale:

Here's a couch in front of a window:

And a, uh...

...demonic hacky sack?

Eesh, how sad is it when this is the best one?

If only bakers had a helmet shaped PAN, you know? Something that locks them into the right shape, so they absolutely, positively, could NOT mess it...

*headdesk*

Thanks to Bruce B., Manda, Matt M., Anony M., Brielle R., Kristin N., Heather F., Rachel K., & Anna E. for finding a reason I might actually need a helmet. (Or possibly a padded desk.)

Oh hey, and if you think these bakers have been drinking, maybe getting them this will help:

Football Helmet Wine Bottle Holder

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Print Me A Picture

It's "Build A Better Image Week," bakers, and as an expert in image... [slinks down in chair to hide grungy PJs and frizzy Hermione hair]... I am here to help. 

This time we're working on your edible images, so lets zip through the basics.

First things first, run spell check.

*facepalm* 

Off to a great start.

Next, properly trim your image:

... and place it smoothly on the cake.

Smoooooothly.

Make sure it's right side up!

And make sure all your color cartridges are full before printing.

If you do accidentally turn someone into Shrek's baby, do not - I repeat, do NOT - use it as your store's display cake.

[innocently begins whistling 'All Star']

Try to choose a cake design that frames the image well:

And remember that photo cakes are all about putting the birthday boy or girl front and center:

If you're making generic cakes for immediate sale, leave plenty of room around your image for the customer's message later:

And choose pictures that go with everything, nothing too specific.

Remember, photo cakes are supposed to be fun, dynamic, and above all, EXUBERANT.

Aw yeah. The Bonnest of Vonages is happening here, I can feel it.

So get on out there, bakers, and give us a big photo finish!

yay

Thanks to Spin, Heather D., Katrina, April S., Art, Julia J., Sam E., Victoria B., Angela J., Candace W., & Stacey B. for seeing the big picture, but only if she's reallllly close.

P.S. Here's an idea: instead of cakes, maybe we should be plastering our loved ones' faces on SOCKS:

Because oh yes, that's a thing you can do for $15.

(I never said it was GOOD idea. Pretty funny, though!)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: