Sorry, Keisha

Ever watched your man drop his towel and do a "sexy dance?"

And if so...

...does this look familiar?

:D

It's been a long time since I railed against the airbrush here on CW, but I want you all to know:

...it still sucks.

(I also want you to know that the urge to start quoting Princess Bride here is inconceivably strong.)

Keisha wanted this:

But Keisha GOT this:

Sorry, Keisha.

And Jamey would like us to know that these are little baby booties:

...NOT baby peckers.

Which made me laugh way more than it should.

And finally:

After seven years of documenting wreckage and weird wedding trends, it's hard to surprise me.
But this?
THIS DID IT:

That, my friends, is a professionally made wedding "cake" made of... waaaait for it...

PIEROGIES.
You know, those dumpling things you're supposed to eat with Kielbasa? Except these are covered in icing and stuffed with bananas and Sweet StayPuft it's so wrong what is wrong with you people even the real cheese cakes were better aaaaaaaaaaa

Ahem.

Happy Friday, y'all.

Thanks to Taylor H., Corinne K., Keisha D., Jamey I., & Missy S. for showing us what a raw oyster "cake" might look like. (I'm not the only one who see it, right?)

*****

This is random and ridiculous and I can think of at least 3 people I know who need one:

Tabasco Sauce Keychain (It's real sauce!)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Instagram VS Reality, Vol. 2

I'm back with more lofty inspiration photos and the wrecks they inspired, because sometimes we all need to aim high, crash hard, and have a good laugh.

INSTAGRAM:

 REALITY:

... Or maybe a good cry?

INSTAGRAM:

REALITY:

I checked.

It *IS* tinfoil.

The bride loved baseball, so this next one was what they ordered for her bridal shower.

INSTAGRAM:

REALITY:

Again. BRIDAL SHOWER.

I bet she needed a drink after that, eh?

And speaking of...

INSTAGRAM:

 REALITY:

Now we ALL need a drink.

And finally, my favorite:

INSTAGRAM:

 REALITY:

"OH NO NOT AGAIN."

Raise your hand if you'll be seeing this in your nightmares later.

::raises both hands::

Thanks to Robin E., Kimberly S., Mike C., Olga F., & Michelle W. for the always welcome excuse to quote Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. That's always a whale of a time.
Oh wait, I found an adorable palate cleanser for us:

Color-Changing Whale Night Light

How cute is this?? He's squishy, too. Hm, I wonder if the cats need a nightlight... ?

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: