A Written Warning & An "OH MY"

Ann ordered a beach theme cake, and asked the baker to write "Happy Birthday Lorenzo" on the ocean part.

She got this:

...which has to be the first time a literal LOL actually pales in comparison to the butchered name of the birthday boy.

Seriously, how do you turn "Lorenzo" into "Boricua"?? That's only two correct letters! Out of seven! Why... what... HOW....? [head explodes]

Ahem.

When a house warming party turns ominous:

[whisper] "Geeeeet OOOOUUUUUTTT!"

Deb wants to know if she's the only one who sees a Pumpkin man wearing a fig leaf on this cake:

Dear Deb,

NOPE.

Signed,
Everyone.

This next one is a Sports Ball thing, so allow me to translate for my fellow sports neophytes: Apparently the Royals (a Sports Ball "team") are sometimes known as the "Boys in Blue."

But after today, that's not ALL they'll be known as:

HEYOOOOOOOOO

"VICTORIAN LACE"

Bakers, I do not think it means what you think it means.

And finally,

Ordering a company logo on a cake can be daunting, but luckily for Will R., the Michael Kors logo is literally just the letters MK.

And yet...

Where there's a Will, there's a way to wreck Will's manager's cake.

Thanks to Ann F., Brady T., Deb B., Sarah F., Terri C., & Will R. for giving his manager the perfect excuse to throw up his/her hands in disgust and cry, "I'M SURROUNDED BY LITTLE MK'S!"

*****

'Tis the season for PSLs, and now your furry friend can have one, too!

Starbarks Pumpkin Spice Latte Plush Toy

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Guess. That. Cake Kit!

If you've ever ordered a kids' cake from a grocery store, odds are it was made with some kind of plastic accessory kit. Cake kits are the bakery's way of guaranteeing us that every cake we order from their picture book...

... will NOT look this good.

Ever.

If by some chance you at least get the correct toy, then count your blessings - no matter how the rest of it looks.

Trust me, this really is your best case scenario.

How much worse can it get?

To answer that, let's play a game you have ZERO chance of winning, but that I guarantee will delight me to no end.

Ready?

Here goes:

Guess what character cake kit this is supposed to be!

Did you guess?

Oooh, not even close.

Want to try again? 

Or should I just give you the answer?

Good choice.

Ta daaaaaaa.

Ready for another one? We'll call that the practice round.

Here goes:

Study those ambiguous glowing arrows. STUDY THEM. Do they remind you of anything?

Now... what'd the customer order?

BOOM.

Yeah, I have a few questions on this myself, actually.

 Eeesh, I tell ya, minions, when bakeries don't include the toy (which is surprisingly often), you can really see just how whack-a-doodle the actual cake parts are:

Can you guess this character kit? 

You should, since I've dedicated an entire post to just this cake design before. ::meaningful glare::

Remember this?

Yep, Frozen again. Let's not delve into the mystery of why Anna & Olaf are floating down a very non-frozen river in the first place, though.

Since you're not winning this game anyway, let's go back to the funnier way where first I show you what the cake is SUPPOSED to look like:

And then there's a dramatic drum roll...

::imagine a dramatic drum roll here::

... before we all let out an exasperated, "OH COME ON."

OH COME ON.

It's almost cathartic, right?

Thanks to Jevin W., Steph L., Meredith P., Pamela D., & Karri G. for reminding us we can't believe everything we see in bakery books.

No joke, the next time I need a birthday cake for a friend I want to buy this kit:

 Rainbow Unicorn Topper Kit

Then after we eat the cake, I'll steal them back and turn the rainbow, lollipop, & unicorns into necklaces, because they are ADORABLE.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: