When Mutation Day Explains So Much

I read that today is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' "Mutation Day" - something you wouldn't think other people would celebrate, but then, that's the only explanation we have for this:

And in true TMNT fashion, I shall call her "Hipposaurus."

"Why are we running?"

"Because the hipposaurus."

(That's about the level of literary greatness you can expect for the rest of this post, gang, so buckle up and/or head for the exit now.)

Next we have Heeby Jeeves:

Mummy The Dearest Lobster:

...and Sheldon The Sensual Sea-Serpent:

Likes: smooth jazz, gelato, aromatherapy

Dislikes: Big Bang Theory jokes

Then there's Pillo-dillo, The Throw Pillow Punisher:

Catch Phrase: "The Pillow Punisher IS BRINGING YOU DOWN."

Eh?

EH?

OH COME ON THAT WAS FUNNY

And finally, my personal favorite: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, meet Newborn Sentient Yoga Wave:

::head tilt::

Or it could be Grimace - you know, the purple guy from McDonald's? - doing the worm.

Anyway, we can't celebrate the Turtles' mutation without a vaguely threatening TMNT birthday cake, right?

RIGHT.

(Better watch out, birthday dude.)

Thanks to Bea, Patricia K., Maddy R., Sarah K., Haley D., Diane B., & Amber M. for the cowa-bungles.

P.S. 10,000 geek points to the person who can correctly identify which of today's mutant names is actually from the show. :D

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Oh, and here's a reminder of what Grimace looks like, for you youngin's:

Funko Pop: McDonald's 5-Pack

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

What Fresh Canned Fruit Cocktail Horror Is THIS?!

It's not even October, you guys, but bakers are already trying to scare us.

Fruit cocktail dumped on chocolate Tres Leches cake?
WHAT FRESH CANNED HORROR IS THIS?

And while we're bellowing rhetorical questions to the heavens...

The eyelashes. Why?
The head wound/toupee. Why?
The person who eventually paid money for this. WHYGAWDWHY

Ahem.

Brides-to-be, let's talk about putting a blood fountain under your wedding cake.
Specifically, let's talk about how you should NOT do that.

Granted, you almost don't notice the blood fountain under all the fake flowers, plastic staircases, feathers, and Mardi Gras beads - but unless Freddy Krueger is marrying the 80s, this is not a good thing.

The label says "Pumpkin Spice Cake," but Ashley wasn't fooled:

She knows "Poo-mpkin" Spice when she sees it!

And finally, here's my new favorite butchering of "you will be missed."

Judging by that splat behind the L, it's a shame the baker didn't.

Thanks to Joanna R., Brenna Z., Karen F., & Laurie - NOT "Lorie" - for the excellent wreckporting.

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I'm still laughing at my own joke about Freddy Krueger marrying the 80s, so let's keep that energy going with some Golden Girls Mad Libs:

The Golden Girls Mad Libs

 I just started watching Golden Girls for the first time ever (I don't know where I've been, but I'm guessing watching Star Trek) and I don't know if y'all knew this, but it's funny! :p

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And from my other blog, Epbot: