Who Wore It Better: Thong Guy Or This Tube Of Lipstick?

What do you think, worst proposal ever?

I mean, it's misspelled and on a DONUT, for StayPuft's sake.

Then again, if they say no, I suppose you could claim it was a joke ("I just meant I'm really cheerful!") and eat the evidence super quick. So hey, silver lining.

I can't decide if this is an argument for more art in school, or less:

o.0

And hey, speaking of anatomically improbable figures:

Is his chin a pepper shaker?

And please tell me I'm not the only one squicked out by the thong-not-reaching-all-the-way-between-the-legs thing. YOUR THONG NEEDS BETTER SUPPORT, DUDE. Nobody wants all that flapping around and migratin' and whatnot.

(I know what you're thinking, and yes, I would be a terrible person to invite to your bachelorette party. I'd be the one handing out sweaters and Purell and asking if we can turn the music down.)

And finally, these segues practically write themselves, because someone ordered this MAC lipstick cake:

...but in leopard print. I have no idea why.

Anyway, Douglas Adams was right, y'all: BEWARE OF THE LEOPARD.

Especially when it's supposed to be leopard-spotted lipstick. Which, ostensibly, this is. [suspicious look] Yeeeeeah.

Thanks to Leah F., Tiassa, Naomie-Ruth, & Aviancee, who I'm still not sure I believe, but hey, I report, YOU DECIDE.

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P.S. For some reason I feel like your life needs more ridiculous pepper shakers in it, and OH LOOKIE HERE:

Elvira Salt & Pepper Shaker Set
That third image's gonna haunt me.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

This Is 2020

I know it doesn't feel like there's much worth celebrating today, minions, but I'm sure if we look hard enough we can find something.

Like all the Halloween cakes already hitting shelves!

::head tilt::

Or maybe ones that have been out too long. Yeech.

We could celebrate gravity.

Or in this case... missed conceptions? Eh? EH?

(See, 'cuz the balloons look spermy? My humor has layers, y'all. LIKE AN ONION.)


Hmm. How about our love of hot dogs shaped like turkeys?

Which one you see first depends on if you're a legs or buns person.

Granted, these are pretty minor celebrations. We need something noteworthy today. Nay, cake-worthy!

::thinking::

AHA!

I've got it.

Now, I know it was touch-and-go there for a while, minions, but I think almost all of us can celebrate THIS:

::blows noisemaker::

::bangs drums::

WoooOOOoooo!

::sees how annoyed you are::

::quickly runs away::

Let's, uh, keep up that streak, gang.

Thanks to Jennifer N., Shane B., Leah W., & Melissa R. for the reminder to celebrate EVERY month of 2020 that we don't murder people.
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P.S. That reminder reminds me: here's a fun way to spend time with your family/housemates without murdering them, but also while throwing things at them:

Throw Throw Burrito: A Dodgeball Card Game

It's by the makers of Exploding Kittens, so you know you'll have some laughs, too.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: