...But It's Still Better Than A Peach Candle

'Tis the season... TO RE-GIFT!

That's right, minions, now's the time to gather up all those unwanted soap sets, bottles of wine, and peach candles, and hastily foist them on your unsuspecting in-laws!

So in that spirit, I (re)give you: RE-GIFTED CAKES!

Ahh, but how do you re-gift a cake, you ask? Like this:

They'll never know.

Or like this!

Just blame the baker. After all these years, I've made that SUPER easy.

Is that office cake from last month still sitting around? PERFECT:

Smoooooooth.

OK, but what if you only have one cake to re-gift, but lots of people to re-gift to?

Got ya covered:

Just like fancy soaps or DVDs, it's all about the packaging. As long as it's sealed properly, no one can question whether it's used or not!

Well, this one might raise a question or two.
Especially if you have chocolate smears on your face.

I like to have a re-gift cake on hand for those unexpected occasions:

Just fill in the blank!

Of course, sometimes a re-gifted cake needs a little work.

Like when you HAVE a pink-and-orange butterfly cake, but NEED a Spider-Man one.

BAM. Spiderweb-wrapped butterfly.

It's a re-gifted cake miracle!

Thanks to Cheri H., Amanda G., Michelle G., Becky, Eric A., Ben H., & Anony M. for the gifts that keep on giving.

*****

P.S. Hey Spidey fans, LOOK HOW CUTE:

Spider-Man Pen Holder

No way this one is getting re-gifted.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

The 5-Word Phrase Every Baker Should Know

Bakers, we need to talk. Please, have a seat.
[waits while 15,000 bakers find chairs]

I thought we might try something new today. It's called "refusing an order," and it's made up of 5 simple words: "Sorry, I can't make that." Easy, right?

Let's practice. I'll be the customer.

Hi there! I'd like you to make this peppermint candy cake, please! I'm VERY enthusiastic, and I have money!

Now you say, "Sorry, I can't make that."

Frank: "I could TOTALLY make that! Look!"

Aaaand stop. Can anyone tell me where Frank went wrong?

Judy: "Frank accepted the job?"

EXACTLY. Let's try again.

Excuse me, I'd like you to hand pipe this picture of Madonna on a cake. How much?

Now YOU say...

[whole room murmuring] "Sorry, I can't make tha..."

Judy: "On it!"

Oh, Judy.

Judy, Judy, Judy.

Who knows what Judy should have said?

[all murmuring together]: "Sorry, I can't make that."

Right! Let's try a lightning round.

Barb! Quick! You can't make me this Spider-Man cake, can you?

Barb: "Dang right I can! WATCH THIS!"

[rubbing temples] Come on, bakers, remember your five words!

How 'bout you, Phil? Think you can make this flaming skull cake?

Phil: "Gosh, I don't know, that's pretty hard..."

Good, good! Recognize your limitations! Now you say, "Sorry, I can't..."

Phil: [interrupting] "Oh, what the heck! Gimme ten minutes!"

You're monsters, all of you.

Well, that's our time. Let's meet back here again tomorrow for a new installment of Don't Fear The Dictionary. You monsters.

And thanks to Gena M., Christine T., Lea T. & Marisol L. for today's object lessons.

*****

P.S. Hey all you monsters, may as well have giant comfy slippers to match, right?

Monster Paw Slippers

I'm actually wearing big badger feet slippers at the moment, but they don't have much of an insole, so these look like a serious upgrade. Plus, extra ankle coverage. Mmmm.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: