Sofa King Funny

Happy Fat Tuesday, everybody!

Now, as we all know, there's only ONE traditional Mardi Gras dessert bakers have to make today: the King Cake.

So naturally they're making everything BUT.

They've got Mardi Gras cupcakes:

Mardi Gras cookie cakes:

Mardi Gras layer cakes:

...and Mardi Gras donuts:

Heck, they've even got Mardi Gras cinnamon rolls arranged to look like a vaguely unsettling fleur-de-lis:

Then a few brave souls decided to tackle the iconic Mardi Gras masquerade mask:

Which... did not go well.

Wow.

Seriously, bakers, what gives? All anyone wanted today was a giant dough ring with a bunch of icing and plastic crap on it, like this:

That's not so hard, is it?

Ok, now you try.

O.o

On second thought, better stick with the cupcakes.

Thanks to Michelle L., Amy C., Sommer, Robbie B., Jessica S., Kemberlee B., Lisa, & Christine L. for showing us what a Queen cake might look like. HEYOOOO.

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P.S. Do we really NEED an apron of a cat waving a lightsaber and an American flag while riding a unicorn breathing fire?

Cat Unicorn Apron with Pockets & Adjustable Strap

Yes. Yes, we do.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

And THAT'S How Baby Zebras Are Made

It's time for another one of our chats, bakers. You know, the ones where I give well-reasoned arguments for why you shouldn't wreck things, and you completely ignore me?

You're like my cats, only armed with piping bags instead of hairballs.

No, Professor Fluffypants, no!

Still, as long as I keep lecturing Suki and Eva on proper puke placement ("The tile! AIM FOR THE TILE!") I may as well keep tilting at this particular windmill.

SO... zebra stripes.

(By Sherry O)

These are zebra stripes, bakers.

While these:

...are sperm.

I point this out because a lot of you seem to confuse the two:

...and nobody wants sperm on their birthday cake, you guys.

NOBODY.

Nope.

No, thank you.

Nuh-uh.

What the...?

OH COME ON.
(Who let Professor Fluffypants in here?)

Bottom line, bakers: next time someone asks for zebra stripes, DON'T USE BUTTERCREAM.

Use an airbrush instead!

See?
MUUUUCH better.

Thanks to Laurie P., Barb, Lauren M., Elizabeth, Amber G., Holly C., D'andra B., Courtney G., & Jana W. for showing us what's black and white and wrecked all over.

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Hey, have you seen how people are taking shower curtains and stretching them over cheap wooden frames to make giant paintings? I think someone should do that with this one:

Rainbow Zebra Curtain

'Cuz it's pretty. :)
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And from my other blog, Epbot: