Let's Wrap It Up

Friends, acquaintances, decorators.

There is a new bakery trend arising. One that's making me SICK. And also kind of excited. Mostly sick. But sort of excited.

The trend?

Sticking wrapped candy on finished cakes.

Now, the excitement comes into play because, hello! Candy is awesome. So putting candy on cake sounds like mixing angel giggles with a hug from a rainbow.

The disgust, however, comes from the fact that the candy is wrapped. And on a cake. Or in some cases:

IN a cake.

And digging through icing with your fingers just to unwrap a piece of chocolate that is covered in chocolate and then smooshed into chocolate sounds about as appealing as... ooh, look!
Chocolate!

In a sweet, oozy green metallic coating!

Apparently, the more candy and flotsam you shove on top, the more "fancy" the "brownies" become.

Assuming there are actually brownies in there somewhere.

Or, if chocolate-covered chocolate in your chocolate is too much chocolate for you, there's always the paper-wrapped sugar sticks in your sprinkle-covered sugar cake approach:

Suckers.

So, when all else fails, and a regular ol' normal-people cake just won't cut it, go ahead and jam any and everything you can find into a plastic container:

Because America, that's why.

Thanks to today's Wreckporter wrappers Thomas P., Martha, Jo N., Sarah D., Kendra, and Matt P., who will now go forth and fetch me a Twix. No? Anyone?

*****

P.S. Not that I'm advocating putting MORE wrapped candy on your baked goods, but did you know you can buy emoji lollipops? And they're super cute?

24 Pk Emoji Lollipops

Only $10, and they come individually bubble-wrapped!
*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Expectation Vs. Reality

Sometimes, you have a specific item you want replicated in cake.

You know, like a camcorder.

(Really?)

(Oh. Ok. Really.)

Well, no problem. They can do that!

That's one for the record books.

And with all the company picnics out there, you know bakers can freehand logos like nobody's business:

See? Just like nobody's business!

Or how about trying an entire building?

It's all in the airbrush.

Enough business, though. What do you say we loosen things up with something a little... sexy?

Mrow.

Uh...

Well, on the bright side, at least the baker was generous with the serving sizes!

Because anything less would have been a waist.

Thanks to, Emily C., Bridey, & Anony. And hey, you know what they say! "A moment with these hips on your lips, and your hips...I mean, your LIPS...no. Wait. Look. There's an old saying in Tennessee. Or was it Taiwan? Anyway. Fool me once, shame on..uh...look, you can't get fooled again, is what I'm saying. Sooo. Yeah.

[dramatic eyebrow lift]

Strategery.

*****

P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: