Inside The Twisted Mind Of john

And so I says to her, I says, "Hey lady! Let me give you a HAND with that!"

AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!

Thanks to Nancy L., Laura C., & Sahara H. for letting me get that out. I feel muuuuch better now.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

The Last Effs Given

There's nothing more dismal than the first day back to work after a holiday. You're tired, you're possibly hung-over, you're definitely not ready to be wearing pants and/or a bra again, but here you are, expected to pick up like it's a regular ol' Tuesday. BAH.

Bakers are no less susceptible to the First-Day-Back blues, but I will say theirs is SLIGHTLY more obvious.

Gee, you shouldn't have.

Ready, set...

BLEH.

When you can't be bothered to find the spatula:

I just hope she wore gloves.

Andy's big 30th birthday bash is about. to get. EPIC.

...ally bad.

It was a drive-by splooging!

Or maybe a "stand-over-and-sway-drunkenly" splooging.

You know it's gone wrong when they bring in the big plastic butterfly.

Big plastic butterfly fixes everything.

Took me WAY too long to figure out what this icing says:

I won't spoil it for you. Just squint a little - you'll get it.

And my favorite:

Because unlike most of us today, this baker actually gave a crap.

Also maybe a little pee.

Thanks to Rachael G., Alicia P., Melissa C., Ellen M., Laurie P., Jennifer L., Suzan M., & Elizabeth O., who know that one cake doesn't actually say anything, but who forgive me for trolling because I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY. I mean, ok, I am, but still. WHY DO I HAVE PANTS ON RIGHT NOW.

*****

P.S. When you don't have a cake to express yourself, there's always this:

(Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want To Be Here T-shirt)

Comes in lots more colors and also mens' styles at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: