Great Expectations

It's been a while since we compared the pictures in the order book to what you actually get from a bakery, so let's mosey on through those rose gardens of hope into the harsh, sweat-stained armpits of reality, shall we?

What you order:

What you get:

What, no toy? I'd say you got burned, Gabe, but it looks more like you got ketchup-smeared.

(Ketchupped?)

What you order:

What you get:

I've seen worse.

What you order:

What you get:

This is worse.

Ever wonder what happens when the cake you want requires airbrushing, and the bakery doesn't have an airbrush?

What you order:

What you get:

And they said you'd never use those finger-painting skills in "the real world." Ha! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to check on my paper cup Lima bean garden...

What you order:

What you get:

Let's just hope it's not contagious.

Thanks to Adina W., Koutny L., Desiree B., Jill W., & Shelly R. for helping inspire my new band name: El Festering Pustulés. It really POPS, don't you think?

(Fun fact: Shelly R. paid $80 for that Dora cake. Eighty. Dollars.)

*****

Years ago John and I served a magical Pensieve Potion at one of our parties, and the shimmer dust I used to make it has been a top seller in my Amazon shop ever since. THIS STUFF IS SO FUN, y'all:

Super Pearl Shimmer Dust

I prefer the Super Pearl over a color, because then you can add a drop of food coloring to make any or ALL the colors. You only need the tiniest bit even for a big punch bowl, so the little container should last you several parties, easy.

Correction: I originally called this an edible dust, but it’s actually just non-toxic, not edible. I’m a little fuzzy on what the difference is, but wanted y’all to be aware. Here’s an alternate Pearl dust this IS listed as edible, but I can’t say if it will look the same in drinks. So if you try it, please let me know!

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Six Hilariously Wrong Wedding Cake Monograms

Not everyone is fully fluent in text speak and common abbreviations, so let's cut these couples a little slack, mkay?

Right after we finish laughing, I mean.

(facepalmheaddesk)*

*Do Not Attempt

Hey, guys! You've just make the most serious vow of either of your lifetimes.
OR DID YOU?

Aw, just kidding. Really. It's no big deal.

See?

Some of these could be chalked up to a simple oversight, but this? How could you NOT notice your monogram spells something?

I know it's an old joke, but...

...nope, that's pretty much it.

Hey, you're not superstitious, are you? Because some people might be tempted to take this as a sign:

It's all in the delivery.

And finally, my wedding monogram of the month:

[head in hands]

I can't decide if I'm more delighted or horrified that their accent color was blood red. I'm delorrified.
Or horrighted.

No, wait: I've had time to think about it, and I'm definitely delorrified. Mostly 'cuz that's how I'd describe Marty when he gets stranded in 1955. Right? Delorrified? Eh?

(You're welcome, BttF fans.)

Thanks to Amy M., Bobbi K., Deanna F., Maegan, Ruth H., Kimberly W. for the initial discomfort.

*****

P.S. Remember, it's MUCH harder to wreck someone's initials if you only use one letter:

Metal Letter Wine Cork Keeper, Wall Mounted

And if you do still wreck it, at least this is an excuse to drink more wine.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: