Oops! They Did It Again

Will you guys ever get tired of seeing wedding missed marks? 'Cuz I'm thinking, "no."

Let's test that theory, shall we?

What the bride wanted:

What the bride got:

That'll buff out.

A lovely leaf motif:

And a lovely...oh good grief:

Actually, that leaf design is so popular I have two wedding wrecks based on it:

Whoah. This baker needs to make like a tree, and get out of tree decorations.

(Hm. I feel like that line didn't go quite right. Maybe I should follow it up with something clever.)

So.

YEAH.

(Theeere we go.)

This next one's in reverse order; here's what Anthony L's bakery replaced another bakery's initial wreck with, and with only an hour and a half to do so before the wedding started:

Not bad for less than two hours' work, right?

Especially when you compare what the original cake (again, from another bakery) looked like:

Am I the only one who thinks this looks like Play-Doh? I keep expecting it to spring to life, claymation style. And then maybe turn into a giant demon dog and terrorize a nerdy New York accountant.

Just me?

Here's a fun, modern pattern:

Aaaaand the fun stops HERE:

It's never a good sign when your cake is crying.

Goodness gracious, great balls on wires!

Seriously. They're like shiny little bubbles of joy - totally cute.

These, on the other hand, are just...

...balls.

Thanks to Krista V., Emily B., Allison I., Anthony L., Tempest J., & Sarah B. for feeding our horrible wedding wreck obsession.

*****

P.S. In case your life was missing a set of cat butt magnets, I found you some:

Cat Butt Magnets

There's also a set for dogs.

You're welcome.

:D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

I'll Just Have The Salad, Thanks.

Never before has a delicious food made to look like another delicious food made me want to LOSE my food quite...like... this:

To be fair, this is exactly what pizza looks like - if you make it with old Cheez Whiz, moldy beet slices, algae, and blueberries. (AKA the "Nothing beets berry cheesy seaweed!" special.)

I was about to ask why someone would make a cake that looks like cherry pie...

...but then I realized no one did.

[OH! SNAP!]

[What do you mean, "no one says that anymore?" I just heard some hep cat on the YouTubes saying it last week! Stop crammin' my jive, H-dub.]

[I do SO know what I'm saying, John. You're just jelly of my lyrical songifications, mug-buzz.]

Not entirely sure what's happening here, but I'll tell you this:

That's fowl.

"See, just imagine the caramel sauce as glistening rivulets of semi-congealed grease, and the green stuff as... Hey! Where are you going?"

And finally, put down that coffee, and allow me to introduce you to...

Cockroach Steak: the other other white meat.

All hail Greg, Emily H., Lindsay I., and Erica R., slayers of appetites!

*****

P.S. Sorry, that was super gross. Let me make it better.
LOOK HOW CUTE:

Rex the Green Dragon

This teeny pocket-sized dragon comes in a bunch of different styles: wearing aviator goggles, nursing a singed wing, even skateboarding, heh. It's hard to pick a favorite; they're all so stinking adorable! Guaranteed to make you forget about cakey roach steaks. (Oh. Whoops. Sorry.)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: