Are You Smarter Than A Wreckerator?

Friends, if you'll indulge me, I'd like to take a moment and wax poetical about the world's somewhere-between-17th-and-52nd best education system.

You see, here in the States we learn everything we need in life, from the very basics:

(The difference between an apple and a bell pepper is more advanced.)

 

...to spelling and punctuation:

 

...to those oh-so-vital math skills.

 

We also have more advanced studies of the human, um... whatever this is:

I'm pretty sure that's butt stuff.

 

Here we're encouraged to keep writting(s?):

 

...to keep our stars shinning:

 

...and to always enhance that one student's mind's 2013:

That one's a little confusing, I'll grant you.

 

Because here in the US we honor our honor stundels:

 

...encouraging them to Imagin a world where they can Acheive their dreams:

A world where, say, all you have to do is copy little plastic signs for a living.

 

...from the very beginning of the school year:

 

...to the bitter(sweet?) end.

Yay.

 

Thanks to Janel J., Anony M., Kate B., Brittany J., Juli K., Anony M., Linda R.., Rae L., Tanya, Janica C. & Laura B. for the education.

*****

P.S. Because I bet we could all use a drink after that:

"Santa's Flask" Stocking Booze Dispenser

This stocking can hold an entire bottle of wine! Better get two.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Wrecky Conga Lines

My dear bakers, I'm going to teach you how to spell "Congratulations" if it's the last thing I do. I mean it. We're going to sit down RIGHT NOW and hash this thing out, and I'm not giving up until each and every one of you can spell this word backwards, forwards, and without using a single letter "d." You hear me? I am NOT GIVING UP.

I give up.

Ok, look. How about you just abbreviate it?

Not that much.

No...

[head on desk] No...

[in fetal position under desk] Losing...faith...in humanity...

Does...does that really say "Congris"?

Does it?!

Ok, I have an idea.

[whispering in ear]

I'll take it.

Hey, Aimee T., David G., Colleen G., Lianne I., Super Happy Girl, Julie M., & Nicole V., you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand, do you? My cookie cake was slaughtered by a six-fingered hand.

******

P.S. I use a lot of faux flame candles on timers in my house, so at night they all pop on automatically like magic. LOVE THAT. And I keep adding more. If you want to deck out your space with the same warm-candle-glow look, here's a great starter set:

LED Flameless Candle Set With Remote Timer

You get TWELVE candles and two remotes for $30, which is an incredible deal. Dang. A lot of folks use these in their fireplaces, since the different sizes look great grouped together.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: