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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun102011

Wrecky Conga Lines

My dear bakers, I'm going to teach you how to spell "Congratulations" if it's the last thing I do. I mean it. We're going to sit down RIGHT NOW and hash this thing out, and I'm not giving up until each and every one of you can spell this word backwards, forwards, and without using a single letter "d." You hear me? I am NOT GIVING UP.


I give up.


Ok, look. How about you just abbreviate it?

Not that much.

No...

[head on desk] No...

[in fetal position under desk] Losing...faith...in humanity...


Does...does that really say "Congris"?

Does it?!

Ok, I have an idea.

[whispering in ear]

I'll take it.


Hey, Aimee T., David G., Colleen G., Lianne I., Super Happy Girl, Julie M., & Nicole V., you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand, do you? My cookie cake was slaughtered by a six-fingered hand.

« Sunday Sweets: Summer Lovin' | Main | Hats Off For Grads! »

Reader Comments (105)

My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Tee hee hee, I did not notice the 6 fingers until it was mentioned, it made me giggle!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwendalynn11

That last one has five fingers and a thumb...

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlil

That's a left hand. :)

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAubri

When congratulating graduates, I believe "congrad's" is perfectly acceptable.
"Congris Grade" is always correct.

WV: Wasili- You can see Russia from there. You Betcha!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

because I am detail oriented (obsessive) I tend to read your credits, I mean you make it worthwhile with a parting pun or two! today I recognized a submitter's name and will have to let all my kids know to "check out today's CakeWrecks! No, Really, you Have to!" ;-}

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGrammy

Do you think some places buy their cakes and re-sell them? Tay's cake looks pretty darn good, until you get to the writing. Then it's a disaster on several levels!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Today's post made me laugh right out loud. Thank you!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What's with the anonymizing bar on the sparkly-flotsam cake?

Embarrassing name? Or someone just didn't want to be recognized as a submitter?

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

LOL love the Princess Bride reference! six fingers!

meanwhile, that flower one with the goopy jelly on it--did someone graduate from Congress? (Congris)

did Congradulations become a thing for graduates specifically as away to abbreviate Congratulates graduates?

can they spell it better if it's congratulations for something OTHER than a graduation? like, a hysterectomy or something?

(sorry, bad taste....but there ARE cakes for that, as we know!)

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Trevor - Tay's cake looks like a grocery store cake. They're initially decorated with a big space in the middle for the inscription. I bet someone bought that after the regular decorator went home for the day. I can hear the deli clerk saying "Sure, I can write on a cake!"
Great post, as always!

WV: grobl - Cakes so good, you'll grobl them up!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

@Trevor - most grocery stores have their cakes baked and the initial decorating done off-site (a co-worker of my husband's used to work for the company that did this) so the person who wrote on the cake is not the same as the person who initially iced/decorated it.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKirsten

Count Rugen is amongst us!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLydia

Hahahaha, I love the last one.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Black Dog

Not only is Becky being wished "Contradulation," but somebody peed on her cake.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I love that I immediately thought of the six-fingered man when I saw the last cake, and then you made my day when you actually quoted Princess Bride! Hysterical as always!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterS Ketne

BUAHAHA! "My cookie cake was slaughtered by a six-fingered hand."
...I don't usually leave a comment but THAT; that was genius!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah W.

Last line: Winning. Best. Ever.

I think I say that a lot about many, many lines on your blog. But it's true. Every "best line" is better than the one before.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

In order to get one's diploma from cake decorating school, it should be required that one can spell "Congratulations" and to know to abbreviate it without an apostrophe. And that, while "Grad" and "Grade" understandably come from the same school of thought, one of those words picked up a varsity letter. Not that he ever lets that fact be heard, but the silent humility sets it apart from the average Jo.

wv : cornoly . Let's see if using cornoly'll make a difference in our cake's results.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterZoanna

*headesk* X infinity WTF

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Anyone else notice the "2016" decorations? That cake is going to be awfully dry by graduation day!!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This was a great post - thanks for the laughs! Con-'Rats' to all the grads out there! hehehe...

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNatalieG

I missed the Princess Bride reference but the six fingered cake made me think of - "Six finger! Six finger! Man alive. How did I ever get along with five?" Does anyone else remember that? Maybe I'm showing my age.

wv: morilli - some of these cakes make me morilli than others.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Your Princess Bride references always make me smile! Rock on!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

I can guarantee you the thinking went along these lines:
Five fingers. A hand has five fingers, right? Okay...
Oh, wait, thumb! It's supposed to be a "thumbs up". There we go...
Perfect!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

I like the contradulation one. It's like a new word: contradgedy... I don't know what that means but it sounds like they're talking about the decorator's spelling skills.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJes

*sigh* now I must go home and watch the Princess Bride for the 11millionth and 1 time....

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I'll be certain to tell all the "Grades" I know "Congris!"... (blinkblink)...

WV - Oxions: Morons with all the stains removed by bubbling oxygen action!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

Umm......apparently that last one is a mutant. There's an extra finger there. Paired with the "Great Job" it makes the whole thing look totally sarcastic.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am so proud of all the commenters so far! As soon as I saw the left-hand-cake and right-hand-quote, I was worried there would be an Epcot situation, but you all love Princess Bride too much :) yay!

Because I know something you don't know... (what is that?)... I am not left-handed!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

(Cue "David after Dentist" voice)

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING??

But seriously... I still want cake now. Darn preggo cravings...

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKrantz

Actually, I'd prefer mine con leche, thank you very much.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShalmeno

@Anon 10:52 ~ Those are 2010 decorations. It's just that the 'f' in 'Class of' kinda catches the top of the 0 and makes it look like a six. On the other (six-fingered) hand, given what else I've seen on this blog, I can only hope that means that photo was taken last year, and not that that cake has been in a box in the storage room for twelve months. I wouldn't put it past them. =P

Also, I know that the one cake says "congat's", but I keep wanting to read it as "congat'e".

WV: imunce. Imunce not judge all decorators on the idiocies of a few!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEve

The cake with the cap and tassle is actually pretty well constructed--is that string licorice making the tassle? Very creative. But the CONRATS nearly made me choke on my lunch. What a way to ruin a decent cake.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Great job avenging your father's death, maybe?

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentern.panchancha

This bugs me way more than it should. Of all the words I can't spell, and there are many, "congratulations" is not one of them. I'm more than a little dyslexic. I have misspelled, mistyped, and even botched a graphic or two during live news broadcasts. I literally can not see it when I spell something wrong, and almost never catch other people's mistakes. So, the fact that even I know better, speaks volumes. BTW spell check has changed my life, and I have an awesome proofreader now to keep me from sending out misspelled work. I'm still hoping for the day when scientists teach monkeys to spell and I can have a spelling monkey to help with my disability.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLynn

I like the irony of the "Congat'e [CENSORED] EHS 2010" cake with the "The tassle is worth the hassle" flotsam. I would be so tempted to ask the wreckerator, "so, um, I take it you really didn't think it was worth the hassle."

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OM gosh.. that hand really does have 6 fingers!

Your blog always brings a smile to my face.. and usually has me laughing our loud!!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

A Rutgers cake! Awesome!! Too bad it's so wrecky. Go knights!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichaela

#LFMF: Never say, "It looks like spelling skills are improving," or words to that effect in a public forum, because you WILL be proved wrong. Especially here.

And I thought that line about "another positive effect CW is having on society" would negate the jinx. I should have known it is like washing the car; even if you comment on how warm and sunny it is, your freshly washed car will still be treated to a torrential downpour followed by blowing dirt, cat hair, bad cakes, you name it.

These things look like they were created by 'Congris'.

That last one... Right after the new compulsory spelling class, wreckerators must proceed immediately to the basic anatomy class.

I mean, if I were going to draw a hand, I don't have to look far for an example -- there is no need to guess at it. On the other hand (ba-DUP!), maybe the wreckerator *was* working from an example. Yikes!

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@ Jenniffer

I actually was at the store walking past the bakery when exactly that happened. I volunteered to do the writing for the woman buying the cake and when I did(In nice pretty cursive) it she said to me, "How do you do that so well?"

I replied, "Lots and lots of practice."

Sometimes I have to wonder how many people at the many supermarkets actually know how to properly use a pastry bag and how to make proper lettering on a cake.

VW: cappo. We've been seeing a lot of cappo gown themed wrecks lately haven't we?

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Since there is an accent mark over the "e" on the 5th cake down, I'm thinking that means "conga-tay"...but I searched online for a definition-ay (Google word-searches and Webster's Online Dictionary-the Rosetta Edition) and found nada. So now I don't care anymore.
With the slimy red mess a few doors down, I read it as "Congress Grade."
So, okay~~let Congress have at it.
Why should WE have all the fun.

=^x.x^=

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Pssst! Congratulion! lol

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

@ Lynn (1:29)

I think your writing is very nice!

My email spellcheck function is a joke; it likes to suggest "words" that don't even exist.
And sign me up for a spelling monkey--what a capital idea!
I'd make him a banana daiquiri and challenge him to a rousing round of Scrabble!
=^-.~^=

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

At first I thought the "Congat's" was "Congate" (not seeing the apostrophe), and it might have been the popular name of the incident involving the "conrats".

I read "Congris Grads" as "Congres Grads" (lacking the acute accent--just take the apostrophe from the "Congat's" cake, it didn't belong there anyway!). This cake would be commemorating a meeting of the graduates of the French Dept.

WV: roust. These wreckerators need to be rousted from their posts.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBoy George

The best part about the 6 finger cookie cake is that it was the display and it was there for a while. I wonder if someone had to tell them.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternicole v

"I do not think it spells what you think it spells."

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The Congris Grads cake looks like it is decorated with pizza sauce.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen B

<3 the last one. And the Congrat's makes me physically shudder.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDread Pirate

These had me so laughing. As a former cake decorator, I just shake at my head at the things you have shown. Thank you so much for laughs.

June 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNancyC

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