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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jun092011

Hats Off For Grads!

Way, way, WAY off.

Seriously. I still don't see it.

Now, for the past few years this has been the gold standard for wrecked grad cap cakes:

And believe me, that is one tough standard to beat.

Still, this year's wreckerators are certainly giving it their "best" effort:

My. How...swirly.


This design brought to you by the bad guy in Fifth Element.

(10 geek points if you get that reference, and 25 if you know his name.)


And finally, my personal favorite: two cherries projectile vomiting on a picnic table:

I need an old cherry pitter, and a young cherry pitter.


A tip of the hat to wreckporters Angi C., Casey H., April P., Jennifer S., & Holly K., who find that the power of cake compels them. (Although that last one really is the pits.)

« Wrecky Conga Lines | Main | Six Ways to Celebrate Your New Engagement »

Reader Comments (98)

Bad guy from 5th element=Zorg. Love that movie! Bruce Willis is his typical smooth, corny self.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFromTheHeartsOf

Nope, the cupcake tassle still beats them all.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my.

I love getting Geek points!

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg. :D

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

C-C-Crap-tastic ! I see many have graduated with a Masters in wreckage.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRaphael

+10 geek points for me. I actually really like that movie, even though a large part of me thinks I shouldn't. It's just so, so, ... Words fail me. As completely as these wreckerators failed.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg!!

One of my favorite movies ever. :)

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJecka

'Fraid I don't get the "old cherry pitter" line.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdeckardcanine

Yeah, I get Zorg, but I never understood why he was all oily underneath that plastic thing on his head... what was that?

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

I can't stop laughing!!!! rs

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

LOL Cherries projectile vomiting on a picnic table! sounds like a party!

meanwhile, I think the one before that is a piano....

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjo

Zorg was the bad guy but I think she meant the unseen "Evil" that made Zorg ooze the black stuff. Did he have a name at all?

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRosie

I <3 The Fifth Element so much... almost as much as I <3 geek points. I managed to get the 25, but I got Zorg (5th Element), Xur (The Last Starfighter), & Zurg (Starcraft) mixed up at first, as usual.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterauroragyps

Why do I think the last "cake" looks like a red jellyfish wearing boxing gloves?

Maybe I need to find some meds...or coffee...yeahhhhh coffee....

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

That first one is the cap for the Witches Acacemy, and someone threw water on it.

His name was Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg. So there. hah.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

How many points if I know he was played by Gary Oldman?

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

I am laughing so hard I am crying. "My personal favorite: Two cherries projectile vomiting on a picnic table".........hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Zorg played by Garry Oldman

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@Rosie - I believe Zorg's secretary referred to it as "Mister Shadow" when it placed the telephone call. And the general at the beginning had the oil-ooze too, so I'd lay the blame on "Mister Shadow" myself.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCat B

Can I split the difference, and get only 15 geek points for knowing it's Gary Oldman?

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

I think the cherries are fist bumping. (they just have long arms)

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRosie

ZORG!!! Awesome bad guy. Gary Oldman did an outstanding job playing that weenie. And what was that oily stuff underneath that weird skull cap thing on his head? Brain fluid?

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterjedijson

Deckardcanine,

It's from the Exorcist. "I need an old priest and a young priest!"

See, 'cause the cherries are projectile vomiting...

Jen and I wondered if anyone would get it.

john

The cherries fit with the Zorg theme as well....he almost chokes on a cherry before Father Vito Cornelius slaps him on the back to dislodge it.

LOVE that movie! Will have to watch it tonight now!

mmmm....chicken! Good!

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

by "bad guy from 5th eleemnt" do you mean Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg or Mr. Shadow (/the great evil)? Or perhaps the Mangalores

/super nerd (who am I kidding? that never ends! lols)

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersevenmarie

Holly and Hannah... "congratulatieno", must be a family code or something.

The first one to me looks like a murder scene. All that was left was the graduation cap and a pool of blood. Shudder.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

I LOVED "Fifth Element" and never understood the critical pan it got--the scene that interweaves the Diva singing opera with Leeloo fighting the Mangalores is visually perfect, to my mind. (Oh, Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg, played by Gary Oldman. 35 geek points, please.)

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Have these people seen a graduation cap?! D:

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my god!!!
"I need an old priest and a young priest!"
We used to say that when my daughter was a baby and needed a diaper change.
I'd forgotten all about that, so thanks for the memory!

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

extra credits for Zorg's whole name I think. Anybody else who yelled "Piiiggs in Spaaaaace!" on first seeing the Orcs-with-rayguns/Mangalores? Over-the-top space opera dungeon crawl looking for the elements of a treasure.

Um, and some of these cupcake "treasures" need to have their elements separated and put back in hiding.

wv: flopeckb -- in the divine language, Leeloo says, "I want sprinkles"

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Ah...the symbolism of the first cake...this was made for a student who graduated at the bottom of his class -- hence the cap placed over the giant foam finger, which is, of course, pointing down. The "tassel" meanders, much like the student did during his academic career. And finally, the cake is orange, reflecting his best friend's comment to him after graduation: "Orange you glad it's over."

I knew a kid who graduated in the class of 200g...he was real thin...

Loved the comment "two cherries projectile vomiting..." but I just hate to see two cherries pitted against each other...

wv - unogs: to remove the ogs

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

I don't know if I am ashamed or proud that I get the Fifth Element reference!

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin @ Brownie Bites

That last one threw me extra, because I used to know a guy who used "Holy Hannah!" as a non-sweary exclamation.

WV: Minnatto. Minnie Mouse's signature coffee beverage.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

Bad guy is Zorg, reference is to where the black oozes down his face! Loooooooooooooooove that movie! The scene with the opera singer and the fighting all done with just music going on is AMAZING!!!

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

Yay for exorcist references! I just realized that I was four years old the first time I saw that... What were my parents thinking!?!

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDestinie

It is sad that the first one was actually the best (except for that wierd blob thing under/attached to it).

It's possible more people would have gotten the Exorcist reference if they were not so distracted by the shiny Geek Points. :o)

Andrea

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Class of 200g".......?........
maybe a subtle reference to how much they'll have to pay back in student loans?
They really ALL ~~every dang one of 'em~~need to give up on the mortar board theme. These are ALL~~every dang one of 'em~~a virtual Rorschach test in buttercream.
Do they ever actually TRAIN these people????

(I can hear Groucho Marx saying, "This is so easy a child could do it. Someone go get me a child.")

=^>.<^=

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Wait a minute; I thought Mangalores were the uberfighters from Star Wars (Jengo and Bobba Fett). Were they in the 5th Element too? Dang, now I gotta watch it again.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For even more fun (!):
Look closely at the photo of the blue mess, and you can *almost* make out the person taking the picture, reflected in the plastic lid.(!!)
Could be damning evidence of some sort, should this cake come to trial.

=^!.!^=

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Why oh why did I read this at work? I'm biting my lip right now to keep in my loud bursts of laughter! Awesome Fifth Element reference!

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRagdoll

Eeek! Apparently I am waaay out on the fringe of geekiness, because all these responses saying the Bad Guy is Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg are bugging me.

The bad guy who caused the dark-colored discharge from people's heads was only ever referred to as "Mister Shadow."

I loved that movie. The hubs and I saw it in the theater, bought the soundtrack, and we have it on DVD as well (normal edition and a special "collector's edition").

We quote lines from the movie at odd times. Especially "I only speak two languages, English and Bad English."

We're also fond of "Gimme the CASSSSHHHH!" One of us inevitably says this when the other has been to the bank. The other will hand over the money and go "S'okay! I don't NEED IT!"

Geeks have more fun.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKittyKat

...For those who care enough to at least send SOMEthing...

Hmmmm...I think I'll make "Holly Hannah" my new catch-phrase/exclamation for hideous giant cookies that have to fill in for actual cakes ("Holly Hannah! Look at that ugly cookie! What're they-too cheap to buy a cake?")

=^~.-^=

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The first one looks a little like the Ace of Diamonds bled out after being shot, complete with yellow crime scene tape.

The last one reminds me of Harry Potter and Voldemort battling in the graveyard, when the spells meet in the middle.

Maybe this is how the baker envisions the last scene of Deathly Hallows -- Harry and Voldemort meet in Hogwarts and prepare to battle in the Great Hall, atop the (badly rendered) Hogwarts crest. Sick with stress, they both vomit. The puking spells meet in the middle. Who will prevail?

It's SO HARD to wait until July 15th to see if the baker was right...

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Just thought you might like to know that Cake Wrecks is featured today on the Dilbert website under the "Links you might enjoy" feature. Woot woot!!

w.v.: proft- Amazing that wreckerators would get any proft from these cakes!

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

Is the answer Chris Tucker? :P
Very highly underrated movie. Way better than the critics said.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdrumnate

Zorg is my Hero. That 'morterboard' does kinda remind me of his half a head of hair. @Anonymous at 12:46. You are thinking of Mandalorian. Bobba and Jango wore Mandalorian armor. the Mangalores are the orc looking things from 5th Element. Easy confusion to have, the words are so similar.

WV: Lingl - Jango Fett's love child with Leeloo.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKiriD

Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg!

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg, and the reference is because it looks like his hair lol.

I <3 that movie

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterClaire

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who saw projectile vomiting cherries and read "Holy Hannah", but then if that were what it actually said, it wouldn't be a wreck now would it? I think I will go try to actually order this on a cake and see what I get...

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaury

Am I the only one who thought of "Witches of Eastwick" when viewing the cherries vomiting cake?

Hubby and I are huge Fifth Element fans, and have passed on our adoration of it to our 10 year old daughter (uh, we do skip the Ruby Rhod/stewardess scenes in the ship to Fhloston Paradise). She loves to shout out "Leeloo Dallas MUL-TI-PASS!" whenever we take the train, as you have to slide your transit card into a slot to enter.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Mr. Shadow, how dare you mess up my graduation cake.

June 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergetmeacampari

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