Faulty Towers

Marisa F. writes,

"My sister-in-law had a beach destination wedding in Mexico, and decided that she loved this sand castle cake:"

"Upon speaking with the baker, she explained that she understood that the baker may not be able to recreate the cake exactly, but would be happy with something similar. The baker insisted that she could make a cake as equally beautiful. They agreed that the cake would be 3 tiers, with the sand castle on the top. 

"On the wedding day, she instead got 3 separate tiers, each topped with its own version of a flesh colored sand castle:

That door and window are what really sell it.

"Luckily, the Bride and guests have a great sense of humor, so the Penis Cake was the hit of the reception."

To be fair, they could also be mushrooms. Really happy, attentive mushrooms. 

[insert "fun guy" joke here]

"My sister-in-law was disappointed, of course, but even she had to laugh."

Wow, talk about a good-natured bride! I'm totally sending this to the next newly-wed who e-mails me complaining that her cake's shade of cerulean was a little off. PERSPECTIVE.

Oh, and here's the real kicker: 

"After the reception, they discovered that the 'castles' were merely frosting covered Styrofoam, so this cake topper now has a place of honor in the loving couple's home."

 Bwahahaa! Now that's my kind of wedding memento!

Thanks to Marisa for letting me use an epic John Cleese pun for the title, even if I couldn't think of any more Fawlty Towers jokes to work into the post. You must excuse me; I'm from Barcelona. (Ok, so that's ONE.)

*****

P.S. Do you wear glasses? Do you like flamingos? Like, a lot?

Pink Flamingo Eyeglass Holder

Because this is adorable.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

The Bride And Groan

Today's post is dedicated to all the engaged couples out there. That's right, lovebirds, I thought we might take this opportunity to consider the most important cake of your entire lives: your wedding cake.

Now, I know I feature a lot of wedding wrecks, and I know a lot of folks will point out that asking for a fondant design recreated in buttercream is asking for disaster, but don't you worry. I'm here to help. After all, this is what Leah D. ordered for HER wedding cake:

And look what she got!

It's the tinfoil-covered cookie sheet that really sells it.

Ok, yes, it's a wreck. BUT - did you notice how the inspiration cake was all buttercream, and the wreck itself is fondant? I'm just sayin'. It works both ways.

Now, don't you feel better?

No?

Ok, then how about what Susan A. ordered for her wedding? 

Not a great picture (you don't see mimeographs much these days), but I think you get the general idea.

 And here's what Susan got:

Granted, I'm not sure how this is supposed to make you feel better, but trust me, guys: the REST of us are feeling grrrrr-REAT. (John! Go make some popcorn! These are gettin' GOOD.)

Sara M. wanted her wedding cake to be a hunk a' hunk a' burnin' love:

The cake! The cake! The cake is on FI-YUR!

But instead, her cake just suffered from a mild burning sensation and performance issues:

Wah-WAAAAH.

(That was my attempt at a slide-rule trombone effect. I know: I'm a veritable foley artist with words.)

And finally, Elizabeth P. dreamed a dream of ribbon-wrapped sweetness for her big day:

...but ended up with something only a mummy could love:

Ouch. Uh...that's a wrap!

Thanks to all of today's brides and just remember, guys: wreck or Sweet, we're gonna need to see your wedding cake! (Oh, and we're all invited, right? RIGHT?!)

*****

P.S. When you don't have a cake to express yourself, there's always this:

(Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want To Be Here T-shirt)

Comes in lots more colors and also mens' styles at the link.

*****

And from my other blog Epbot: