Flotsam Plops

The concept is simple: take an otherwise passable cake, and then stick a completely unrelated piece (or pieces) of plastic flotsam on it. Voila! Flotsam plop.

Oh, and when I say "completely unrelated," I mean "completely unrelated."

And lo, unto us a carrot cake is borne.
And high, we suspecteth the Wreckerator was. Eth.

Look, this carrot cake was doing just fine without divine accompaniment - so why the plastic angel pick? Did the Wreckerator think that was actually helping, or was s/he meeting some flotsam distribution quota?

Care to pick a pack of plops?

The migrating guitar herd strikes again.

Here's how you pander to fanboys and fangirls everywhere:

No, no, it's not a blue dog - it's a BAT dog. Sha-pow!

Plus, that upside-down bat logo tells us he sticks to the ceiling!

Bringing "downward facing dog" to new heights.

Perhaps you don't think these examples have been ridiculous enough, though. Nooo problem. What would you say to Dora the Explorer's head stuck in another doll cake's lap?

Go ahead. Try and imagine that's just the world's largest, creepiest belt buckle.

Personally, I'd say "Hola, Dora! S-O-C-K-S!" Because that's all the Spanish I know. I never learned what it means, though, so here's hoping it's not something dirty. (Although, frankly, that might be appropriate here.)

I have some thoughts about the snowman in the gal's lap behind Dora, too, but for all our sakes I'll leave that to you guys in the comments.

So, just how bad is the flotsam plop epidemic getting?

This bad:

Because even cake sold by-the-slice needs accessorizing.
And Superman beats everybody at bowling.

Katrina S., Lisa K., Dawn, Frzn D., & Jane D., "flotsam plops" is officially my new favorite phrase. Flotsamplopsflotsamplopsflotsamplops. Heehee!

*****

P.S. Here's one of the coolest gift ideas I've seen for a Batman fan, also works great for anniversities, aniverys, and bat mitzvahs. (See what I did there?))

Leather Bat Key Fob Case

How awesome is this? Even better, it's on sale this week AND has an extra $3 off coupon, so if you're quick you can get it for under $13!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Wedding Wrecks, Vol. 379

The wrecky forces-that-be have smiled upon us once more, dear minions.

Translation?

I HAVE MORE WEDDING WRECKS.

Here's what Daisy had in mind when she ordered her mini cake and cupcake tower:

But instead...

Oooh, you guys, I feel a bucket list item coming up:

This is it! THIS IS IT.

Ahem hem hem.

Q: What's black-and-white and wrecked all over?

A: KELLY'S WEDDING CAKE.

(Sorry, Kelly.)

And finally, behold the elegant glory of the cake Kassandra ordered for a whopping $750:

Oooh, you've got good taste, Kassandra.

...but terrible luck with bakers:

o.0

Here's how I imagine Kassandra's baker dropped off the cake:

"My work here... IS DONE."

Thanks to brides Daisy E., Kelly J., & Kassandra for reminding us wedding wreckage is serious business.

*****

P.S. Since this saved my butt during a long painting day recently, I have a random product recommendation:

No Buckle No-Show Stretch Belt

This is my new favorite belt, y'all. It basically turns anything with belt loops into an elastic waist. So comfy I forget it's on, slimline so it doesn't show under my t-shirts, and NO BELT BUCKLE to dig into my belly or unbuckle for bathroom breaks. Woohoo!

You know how stretch jeans are forever sliding down when you sit or bend, so you have to keep hitching them back up? No more! I wear this with all my jeans now. It's entirely elastic, so it moves and stretches with you, zero painful digging. I HIGHLY recommend for anyone well endowed with squish in the belly area.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: