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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Apr252018

Wedding Wrecks, Vol. 379

The wrecky forces-that-be have smiled upon us once more, dear minions.

Translation?

I HAVE MORE WEDDING WRECKS.

 

Here's what Daisy had in mind when she ordered her mini cake and cupcake tower:

 

But instead...

 

Oooh, you guys, I feel a bucket list item coming up:

This is it! THIS IS IT.

Ahem hem hem.

Q: What's black-and-white and wrecked all over?

A: KELLY'S WEDDING CAKE.

 

(Sorry, Kelly.)

 

And finally, behold the elegant glory of the cake Kassandra ordered for a whopping $750:

Oooh, you've got good taste, Kassandra.

 

...but terrible luck with bakers:

o.0

 

Here's how I imagine Kassandra's baker dropped off the cake:

"My work here... IS DONE."

 

Thanks to brides Daisy E., Kelly J., & Kassandra for reminding us wedding wreckage is serious business.

*****

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Reader Comments (22)

Perfect GIF usage XD

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Wait! Wait! You forgot the stump!!!
.......(It WAS the best part, you all know....).

=^-.-^=

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Please tell me at least some of that $750 was refunded.

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRoz

Holy CRAP! I can't believe how some "bakers" are running their businesses! The first one couldn't even find the right stand, the second one didn't have a clue what they were doing, and the third one must have sub-contracted the work out to someone who tries to recreate things they see on Pinterest. $750 should have gotten her what was in the first photo. This isn't funny...it's just sad and disgusting. I think these "bakers" deserve to be shamed for their horrible work! I'm a hobby baker and I could do a better job than these people!

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

$750.00?!!
SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS ??

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersuzie d

Wedding Cake Wrecks are my favorite! I always want to know the back story that led up to the cake and the epilogue. What did the brides do at the wedding and after?

What was the color scheme of Daisy's wedding? Along with everything else, those colors are horrific and there are way too many of them.

Kassandra -- please tell me you didn't pay $750 for that three tiered easy-bake oven cake sprayed with E-Z cheese!

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDee, just Dee

$750 would have gotten the bottom two tiers of the original cake where I live.

No way in Hades would have $750 gotten the original.

If it's too good to be true...

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterFordPrefect313

One last thing...

Both cupcake towers are FUG. I'll give the second one props for the ease of grabbing a food coloring and sugar bomb.

I've been to parties that have the first type of tower. If you are lucky. the help pulls the cupcakes off the tier, so you aren't dragging a sleeve or cuff all over the the other cupcakes.

The halls around me add a surcharge for cupcakes with papers because people forget the paper goes on the plate, not in the potted plant, smashed on the table/floor or plugging up a restroom sink (?).

I'm amazed at the straight food coloring color on those second picture cupcakes. Would like to see if those are the true colors picked out.

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterFordPrefect313

The Squire wanted to know if these decorators are even in the same dimension as the rest of us? Regarding the cupcake tower - I'd sic my dog on those people.

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Here's hoping Kassandra got all of her money back. That cake should have been no more than $30 to cover the cost of ingredients (and the apparent hour the baker spent making it). So sorry!

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Holy sheet cake, Batman! I cannot believe the price tag on that despicable mess at the bottom. I feel like I might have throat punched the baker who dropped it off.

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I agree with a whole bunch of people who've already commented. $750 for that mess is not funny, it's sad.

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

I got cupcakes with frosting like that for a Seahawks party once...lets just say we were producing blue and green Crayolas for the next week.

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJanellionaire

From $ 750 to 7.50 in one cake .

The first wreck, with the sign behind it, for Thursday it reads::
NO COWS?!!
Harumph!

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAl the K

Sometimes I wonder if they actually shared the picture with the baker. In my (extremely brief) life as a decorator I was asked several times if I could make a particular cake, but never given a picture of what was wanted, just loads of vague descriptions, color names straight from the paint department and guesses as to how many people it was expected to feed. Once I wasn’t told that the house where the buttercream frosted wedding cake was being displayed in the conservatory in June didn’t have air conditioning. Apparently, it started to disassemble itself as the room temp hovered over 80.
As for cost,mwedding cakes are priced by the slice, so a cake a large as the original picture could easily end up at $750.

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPastrychef

I see that everyone else has expressed outrage on the sheer gumption of charging $750 for that pile of misshapen fondant. How much horror can you buy for $750?

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Hey everyone! It’s Kassandra! I always like to hop on when she features our wedding cake because there always seems to be a strong desire to know our story. Lol

We purchased a gift certificate valued at $750 from a charity auction. We didn’t purchase it for $750. All of our money went to charity.

The cake was a disaster. But it was delicious. The baker cams HIGHLY recommended by most everyone we knew and all of her other work is impeccable. I legitimately have no clue what happened to our cake.

April 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterKassandra

Okay, the geometric one... Dude, you aren't EVEN TRYING!!! Any owner that would let that monstrosity out of the door deserves to be shut down. If it had been Aunt Susie after a bender, like 5 minutes of downing the last Jack and Coke, I could kinda, maybe see it. I "Professional", nope. Disclaimer: No offense to any Aunt Susies out there who like Jack and Coke.

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Well, at least Kassandra's epilogue gives us the real picture -- it was a donation on the part of the bakery, so the assumption was that it was a donation, not a "real" order. It was all for free as far as they were concerned, so they felt no reason to give it any time or effort

April 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Nimous

Oh wow.. these literally take my breath away. How on earth do they sneak the cakes in before the brides can see them? That's how they have to do it otherwise I suspect the wreckerators wouldn't be leaving unscathed lol.

April 27, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Just because you are donating a $750 gift certificate for charity is no excuse for ripping off the person who won the auction for the gift certificate. If they weren't prepared to donate a cake worth $750, the baker could have donated a gift certificate for a lower dollar amount. Kassandra, you have a good heart for not being utterly furious with the baker.

May 4, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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