Passive Aggressive Cakes

Everybody loves getting a cake, right?

Well, unless it's one of these.

Hah! Wait, you are joking, right? Uh, yeah, I think maybe I'll pass - thanks, though. Really.

No, seriously; now you just seem too eager. Keep your stinkin' cake, alright?

Yeah, that's what I was afraid of. Back off, Chucky-boy!

No!

Well, I should think so! You're supposed to be sweet little confections, not all threatening and...

...eek! Uh, no problem, mister Cake, sir - not a word from me, nuh-uh!

Kelly, Moxie, Michele H., Ashley C., and Nikki P., I've been trying to cut down on sugar lately, and I think it's getting to me. If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to go lay down for a spell...

*****

P.S. For folks who appreciate a good linguistics lol:

"Synonym Rolls" T-Shirt

"Just like grammar used to make," hehehe. More colors at the link.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Wedding Missed Marks, Vol. 458

Ever seen Cornelli lace? It's this pretty icing technique Jennifer wanted on her wedding cake:

But instead, her baker got a little really drunk and had a silly string party:

Bottom Tier: "Hey, I think I'm actually better after a few drinks!"

Middle Tier: "MOAR BEER MOAR STRINGY THINGS WHEEEE"

Top Tier: [face down on the counter, blindly spraying icing all over the room]

Meanwhile...

Kimberly decided on something a little more rustic for her wedding:

...but this really goes against the grain:

And Brittany T. ordered this loveliness for her wedding cake:

You must admit, her baker did a crackin' job:

o.0

Also, if you watch those embedded BBs long enough, I'm pretty sure they'll slowly sink into the cake and disappear, ala the La Brea Tar Pits.

Who's hungry?

Thanks to Jennifer H., Kimberly W., & Brittany T. for fueling bride-to-be nightmares everywhere.

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P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

Good news, there's a Volume 2!

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes, Vol II

This one has the word "spiffing" in the title AND comes with a lovely green-and-gold cover, so folks will recognize your sophisticated taste while begging you to stop telling these terrible, TERRIBLE jokes.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: